bullshit
Mood: bloody pissed right off
Listening to: my scrambled mind
I have not logged on for so long. I am so fucking pissed off with everything. I know that the voice in my head is 'victim'. I am never a victim. Well I like to think that I am not.
It is so fucking disappointing to work so hard and get such little reward. Yes, I am talking about relationships. I can't even talk to him about it. I never thought I would get to this. I can't believe it would happen. I have a need to vent.
I can't work full time, be a 'carer' and put up with all the other negative shit floating around me.
I think I am going to work with a big 'fuck you' attitude. I will pretend to care about shit.... but underneath, I am so emotionally exhausted... I dont really care about any of it.
I wonder if this will work for me....the facade is becoming like a robot more and more. I am cold. Slow chilled for 10 years. A rock wall of 'fuck you' frozen ice.
sigh... I guess I am well armoured for another day at work.
Actually, I think i feel much better spitting this out.
