meaningless insights

Well, I thought that this trip was going to be great. It did not turn out like that. One of my problems was not of my own doing, nevertheless I was sucked into a cyclone that I wished not to be a part of.

One of the people there was someone that I know. We don't see each other socially, but we are 'friendly'. After dinner, we had a few drinks and went back to her room as she wanted to use my computer for some internet access.

I left at a decent hour. Went back to my hotel room. Wrote my last Blog entry and went to bed.

I awoke in the morning to find a series of text messages on my phone. The first one was that 'she' had just had a massive row with her boyfriend (she is late thirties btw) and taken at least 10 pills.

The next message was sent about an hour later saying that she had taken too many and would not be at the meeting - she was asking for me to 'cover' for her.

I flew into painic thinking she was dead in the room down the hall. When I got to my door, she had put a suicide note under my door which said something like.... "tell my kids I love them" .... I put some clothes on and asked the hotel to open her room..

She was breathing... thank heavens... I spoke to her and she seemed to recollect the night before even though she was groggy from what ever tablets. I decided to let her sleep it off (although in hindsight, I should have sent for an ambulance) BUT at that stage, I was trying to protect her career. We were at something really important... and you can't just 'not go to the meeting'.

I went back to my hotel room and burst into tears. I was still in shock at what had just happened. It was just emotionally horrible. I rang my boss to seek advice.

She told me I had to 'report' her.

So I did. I reported her. It felt terrible.

Then I had to wait until she was 'with it' enough to talk, so I could tell her that I reported her. It was a difficult thing to do.

I then had to go back down to the 'writing team' to continue to work on my brief. I can't say that I was particulary productive.

I have been saddened for this girl and upset at the dilemma that she put me in. The drama that then followed also made me uncomfortable (all the stuff with the 'supervisor') I wont go into.

I felt that this was a big opportunity for me, yet I was sucked into this 'teenage' drama queen stuff. Not something that I am into..

So I am back home now and I wonder if the mud from that horrible experience has 'stuck' to me. Will it affect my future career? Will I be invited back to continue to work on this program next year?

I have been left with a considerable bitter taste in my mouth.

I also worry about the so called 'friend' involved. I wonder about how she is going. I fear that she could actually be successful with her suicide attempts in the future..

I don't know what else to say. It has been quite depressing, experiencing the whole thing.