henry

Oct 30, 2007 at 12:02 o\clock

The Golden Bracelet

by: henry

Mood: down and out
Listening to: my soul

With referral from the clinical doctor, my mom was admitted to Changi General Hospital for five days observation . Earlier in the day, she could not stand on her feet after urinating. The test results that came in day after day were encouraging. That left her with the last medical report, X ray. As the report came in, we were told that both her kidneys have shrunk incredibly. On the fifth day, she was transferred to Singapore General Hospital.

We were given two options by the Doctor. One was for mom to undergo kidney dialysis. From the Doctor's professional point of view, it was not advisable because of mom's age at seventy-six. Her heart might not be able to withstand it and furthermore, it would only prolong her life for a mere few months at most. Second option was for her to survive just on medication. After discussion with my siblings, weighing the pros and cons, we chose the second option...medication. Nobody would like to stay in the hospital, so was mom. After one week, we took her home. On the second day, she complained of chest pain and she was readmitted to Singapore General Hospital.

Everything went on fine for the next few days except for her kidneys. Then, her conditions deteriorated. One of her eyes shut and she could not talk. Her body was itched all over and she could not scratch properly with her hands jerking. The purpose of kidney dialysis was to remove all unwanted waste products from the blood and to maintain the blood pressure. Because mom was just on medication, the waste products from the blood was not expelled but circulated over and over again. That caused her body to be itched and her hands jerked. As her son, it was my duty to do the scratching for her. Days went by, received news that mom was placed under DIL (dangerously ill list) as she was in a coma. We were told to be mentally prepared by the doctor as she was given forty-eight hours to live. My siblings and I took turns to be with her twenty-four hours a day. Sitting by her side, holding her weak, fragile hand...the hand that fed me, bathed me was really...really painful. My eyes welled up, followed by big teardrops streaming down my cheeks. I bowed my head, hoping some kind of God of whatever faith would appear before me. I would kneel before "Him", begging "Him" to save my mom. I would open my heart and accept "Him" as my saviour and as my God. It was only the naļve side of me. Forty-eight hours have gone by, nothing happened. According to the nurses-in-attendance, from their experiences and observations, given these kind of low blood pressure, my mom should have left this world. Seemed like she had some unfulfilled wishes or simply waiting for someone to turn up. All family members have visited her including in-laws. Then, it dawned upon my sister the incidence regarding the "golden bracelet".

My eldest brother had known his wife since they were youngsters. They worked together, played together and even lived together. One day, he told my mom he was finally getting married. My mom was very happy, bought a golden bracelet, intended to present it to my sis-in-law on her wedding day and that was when my sis-in-law would offer a cup of tea to my mom. But, for reasons unknown to us, my brother did not went through any wedding ceremony, no wedding celebration, nothing. And during all these years, my sis-in-law addressed my mom as auntie. This incidence was made known to my brother. On that night, my sister brought the golden bracelet to hospital. Putting it onto the palm of my mom and grabbing it with her hand, my sister told my sis-in-law, "now, I'll represent mom and hand over the golden bracelet to you". After receiving the golden bracelet, with a cup of tea on hand, my sis-in-law said " mom, please accept and drink this cup of tea". My sister took the cup and wetted  mom's lips with some tea. At that very moment, my mom murmured something. Though inaudible, she responded! Was that her unfulfilled wishes? Handling over the golden bracelet and hearing my sis-in-law addressing her as mom for the first time? We were all overjoyed. The next day, I visited her with my wife. My wife started to massage her right hand. She responded by lifting her left hand and said "it's ok, it's enough". She regained consciousness and was able to talk and move, though restricted.

After a few weeks, she was transferred to Doverpark  Hospice , a hospital for the terminally ill. We visited her on a regular basis. On December 11th 2003, at 0340hrs, received a call from my nephew that mom was having difficulties in breathing and hospital staff requested our presence. All of us were there by 0410hrs. At 0438 hrs, my mom gave out a deep sigh. Sigh of happiness that all her children were there to see her? Sigh of contentment that all her children have grown up? It was not to be, in fact she was mustering all her strength to take in her last breath of earthly air and returning it to mother nature. I was orphaned from that very moment. My world collapsed. My mind went wild with memories, to the day when I was a young boy. I recalled the time she fetched me to and from school, bought me ice-creams, sweets, dressed me, how she scolded and caned me for being naughty. Now I realized that all these caning were parts and parcels of a mother's good intentions. I told myself that I should have treated her even better when she was around. Why must human be such that when we possessed someone, we do not know how to treasure, only to regret when we loss them.

As I needed a closure badly, I came to terms with myself. This is what life is all about. Wherever my mom might be now, she will have all my blessings.

 

Comments for this entry:

  1. quotestebbo wrote at Feb 10, 2005 at 12:38 o\clock:i am so sorry to hear about your mum
  2. quoteMattelMichele wrote at Apr 20, 2005 at 20:40 o\clock:Sorry for your beloved loss Henry. Many hugs to you!



    -Michele
  3. quoteshellbug773 wrote at Jul 19, 2005 at 04:05 o\clock:Henry,

    This story touched me so deep in my heart. I know it isn\'t a \'story\' because it\'s actually what happened. I just want you to know that from reading this, I can tell you loved your mother so much - with your whole heart. It\'s so nice that you\'re able to share with us the peacefulness and calmness that she portrayed.



    I am sorry to hear that she passed on, but at least she is in no pain. I figure you\'ve heard that a time or two, so I\'ll just end this here.



    *hugs*

    ~ Shel
  4. quotehenry wrote at Jul 19, 2005 at 15:27 o\clock:Hi Shel,

    I wanted so much to put what happened to my mom on record.

    At the initial stage, I did not know what blogging was all about until I discovered blogigo. I thought this was the best place. And that\'s the reason why, my article \'The Golden Bracelet\', dedicated to my mom will always appear on the front page and not goes into the archieve.

    There\'s a little secret known to nobody. I can be a fighter in my own rights but whenever I read my own article, my eyes would welled-up....

    Thanks Shel and take care.

  5. quoteshellbug773 wrote at Jul 19, 2005 at 16:22 o\clock:I think when everyone reads this article, Henry, everyone\'s eyes well-up with tears. I know mine did. You just can\'t help it.
  6. quoteSlyPixie_Sanctuary wrote at Jul 20, 2005 at 20:49 o\clock:Thank you for sharing this with us Henry. There is much to be learned from what you experienced, for all of us and especially for you. I admire and respect your strength, and your ability to show weakness. Take care of yourself.

    *~hugs~*
  7. quoteSLEEPLYHAZELEYES wrote at Jul 22, 2005 at 04:25 o\clock:HI HENRY. I COULD HARDLY READ THE STORY BECAUSE OF THE TEARS IN MY EYES. THAT IS TRULEY A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY YOU HAVE. I AM SO GLAD SHE CALLED HER MOM. IT IS TRUE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT HOW WE TREAT ONE ANOTHER AND WE ONLY RELIAZE WHAT WE LOST WHEN THEY ARE NO LONGER WITH US...YOU ARE A FINE MAN AND YOU HAVE A HEART OF GOLD... HAZELEYES...
  8. quoteWINTERWEATHER wrote at Jul 25, 2005 at 14:56 o\clock:I still love to read this Henry, makes me cry everytime I read it! Hope you are well and taking care of yourself.



    Jackie
  9. quoteMattelMichele wrote at Aug 12, 2005 at 17:21 o\clock:Henry this is a touching story, my thoughts & many hugs go out to you.



    ~Michele
  10. quoteTeri2424 wrote at Aug 24, 2005 at 05:28 o\clock:~Henry~

    I know it is late but my sincerest condolences for your loss. Losing my momma is the one thing in this world that I am the most terrified of having to face. Of course we all have to face it eventually. I am sorry. Your story made me cry. Thank you for sharing your story though. I think that it may actually have helped me face a little of the fear.

    Love to you and yours,

    <a rel="nofollow" href=\"http://imageshack.us\"><img src=\"http://img379.imageshack.us/img379/4203/signature21ms.png\" border=\"0\" width=\"250\" alt=\"Image Hosted by ImageShack.us\" /></a>
  11. quotehenry wrote at Aug 24, 2005 at 12:20 o\clock:Teri,

    Thank you so much for your condolences, thank you!
  12. quoteAzwaniSamad wrote at Jan 4, 2006 at 02:13 o\clock:hi henry...when i read ur story..it really touch me deep inside my heart. i feel sorry for u henry...but remember that everyone around u will always luv u and support u... hope this new year will bring happiness, wealth & health to u and ur family. :-)
  13. quotehenry wrote at Jan 4, 2006 at 15:54 o\clock:Hi Wani,

    Thanks so much for your concern. I too, would like to wish you and your loved ones happiness and in the pink of health.
  14. quoteStarrGurl wrote at Jan 5, 2006 at 22:50 o\clock:Hi henry,

    You\'re very good with words. And yes, I\'ll admit like the female I am, I felt myself tearing up at the story of your mother. How heart-wrenching it must have been those last few hours...I have not experienced many close deaths, but I do not handle them well at all, and so in your recovery from this situation, I admire the way you took it. I know it wasn\'t \"recently\", but it was close enough. I hope you\'re Mother is doing well where she is (avoiding any religious suggestions). I appreciate reading your blog for the emotions you convey to me. I love it. And I really do like how considerate you are to me, despite the fact that we only know each other distantly, if we can count ourselves beyond acquaintance. Thank you, henry. You\'re good for my emotional health. And I hope you\'re doing well, and that you\'re family is healthy. Good health is one of those things I believe you should treasure.

    Cheers, StarrGurl

  15. quotehenry wrote at Jan 7, 2006 at 16:41 o\clock:Hi Starrgurl,

    First of all, I would like to thank you for..I quote from your comment...\'I hope your mother is doing well where she is.\' That\'s my wishes for my mom too. I really appreaciate your concern, Starrgurl!

    Secondly, we knew each other through blogigo.As far as I\'m concern, it doesn\'t matter who you are...black or white, where you\'re from, what religion you belong to, what your statistic might be..36-24-36 or 80-90-80. For...I\'ve found not only an acquaintance...but an online friend in Starrgurl!

    Take care!

  16. quoteAzwaniSamad wrote at Jan 11, 2006 at 05:42 o\clock:hi, henry...i just drop by to thank you. have a nice day..:-)
  17. quotewinteryweather wrote at Apr 25, 2006 at 19:22 o\clock:Hello Henry...I haven\'t heard from you in awile so I thought I best just stop by and say HELLO to you! Hope all is well...BTW...this is WINTERWEATHER...just changed my name is all! Take Care...



    *grins*



    Jackie
  18. quoteAzwaniSamad wrote at Jul 26, 2006 at 12:49 o\clock:hi henry...just drop by to say hi
  19. quoteStarrGurl wrote at Aug 31, 2006 at 17:04 o\clock:Hey henry...Hearing about your mom is a very sobering experience. Jesus. I'm so sorry--lol, I can barely empathesize with you. This summer we had to euthanize one of our dogs (and being as my mum's a vet, pets are majorly important members of our family), and I thought I could almost hear my heart breaking...A second dog also died, I went back to his pen one day to let him out to run around, and he was on his side...I just dunno. Death is so difficult to come to grips with, as I've learned, large or small. How have you been lately? I know I haven't been on since April--I was banned from the Internet for talking to an Englishman at home, and they decided to place a blanket ban for the library as well b/c of their computers. So blogging has been difficult for me...I just hope you're well.
    Cheeers, StarrGurl
  20. quoteButtercup2 wrote at Oct 4, 2006 at 06:35 o\clock:Hi Henry,
    I'm sorry I haven't stopped by sooner. Your writing is so descriptive of what our lives are like, and you bring human feelings to light upon our hearts. I know your Mom knew of your great love for her and she'll always be a part of your life and heart.
    Peace to you on your journey, Henry.
    Hugs, Aly
  21. quoteAzwaniSamad wrote at Apr 14, 2007 at 12:37 o\clock:hi henry, just drop by to say hi..have a nice weekend..
  22. quotemymoonlight wrote at Sep 24, 2008 at 10:36 o\clock:i am so sorry to hear about your mum
    <a href="http://www.hostingbay.com.au">my website</a>
  23. quotelife wrote at May 6, 2009 at 04:06 o\clock:So sorry!

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