http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1 That's the world from my perspective and the perspective of some of the funniest people alive en atom_ant atom_ant Sun, 03 Jun 2007 02:28:13 +0200 daily 1 why are there so many  horror movies cliche's . i mean ,  american teenagers in movies dont know how to drive, there always making accidents. and why do they always need to have sex  in slasher movies, come on unfunctional nudity is fun but not when it is this lame . (woman)ohw no three of oure friends are murreder, no more butchered to death what are we going to do now(man) well i think it a good idea if werr gone shag like rabbits, so you wil scream like a slag. so the killer will know where we are so he can easily find us, making us both scream before getting axed to death, making the 2 other survivors think that were screaming beguas we were shagging. (woman) euhm well that sounds completly idiotic , ok lets do it and why do they always scream when the killer is in front of them, i mean  RUN YOU FRIKING IDIOT HE IS CARRYNG  AN AXE HE IS NOT RUNNING AS FAST AS YOU . and not to  speak about the motives for the slaucher. WELL SUZIE YOU SEE IN... Sun, 03 Jun 2007 02:28:13 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/horror-cliches/24/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/horror-cliches/24/ a couple of days back the new hit me that bush  was hit by bird shit , im thinking he will respond like this .  my fellow americans  a couple a days back, after that dutch guy the hoop sceffer left,  i was  attacked by a bird, this  un provoked act of terrorism will not be left unpunished, in retaliation of this act of terrorism whe have executed  both big  bird and  his little friend tweety for issuing the  what we believe teroristic code  I TINK I TAW A PUTTY TAT. by setting this example to  bird extremist all over the world, we hope this will be an isolated incident. to preserve oure saftey  we got the best the police of america has to ofeer , we hired reno 911. We are now looking into  the where abouts of the leader of this flock of birrds, so far whe have found none, and that made me decide to  throw cluster bombs on central park. furthermore i am happy to tell you my suit  was not destroyed in the attack , if it was... Mon, 28 May 2007 00:21:22 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/bushes-bird-speach/23/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/bushes-bird-speach/23/ people are always talking about  time travel. but the forget the downsides of going to the future or to the past . for instance if you go to the future u  can meet this wonderfull girl  who likes the same things you do. you fuck her and next thing you find out its youre grandchild. an other reason why going to the future sucks is seeing the old you with the old  wife  seeing that  could seriuosly fuck up youre  relation ship. becuas now you know how youre girlfriend is gona look in  6o years.   and going to the past is also  screwed up. if for instance you would  by accident  make love to youre grandmother who is youre age than you could turn out to be youre own grand dad,   youre clothes would be found weird and youd be killed. or worse , a fashion idol.   going through time would make jean cluade van damme  come after you  together with those other timecops , and that is also something you wouldnt... Sat, 04 Mar 2006 23:02:27 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/reasons-why-timetravel-sucks/22/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/reasons-why-timetravel-sucks/22/ well at first i ike to say that this blog is completly humor based if i  should offend anybody  in there believes or anything  i really am sorry this was not my intension to do.   70 virgins , thats what you get wehn you blow youre self up  to punish the dis believers. that sounds really cool doesnt it .  by the press of one button  you get 70 virgins, and you go to heaven. there you can do what ever you want  with  70 virgins. but the thing that struc me when hearing this is . so there virgins and theres 70 of em . welll if you do the nasty  yoiuy will run out of birginds in 70 days or even less. and why are they virgine? =would be scary though if you open the gates of heaven and 70 5 year olds run towards you , you  pissed go to  =the office in heaven and demand to speak to  the manager. angryly you tell him you feel fucked by the 70 5 year old girls. and the guy goes  hey there virgine and there are 70... Fri, 20 Jan 2006 19:52:24 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/70-virgins/21/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/70-virgins/21/ "Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre   Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten." Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Net humorist Tina Mancuso collects and shares strange statements in fifth and sixth grade science papers: Question: What is one horsepower? Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up. You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to... Mon, 12 Sep 2005 23:11:18 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/there-are-no-dumb-questions-only-dumb-answers-./20/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/there-are-no-dumb-questions-only-dumb-answers-./20/ A lot of people ask where the saying "You gotta be kiddin' me" came from. Here's the story behind it.... Way back, George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops. They were packed into the boats. It was extremely dark and storming furiously. The water was tossing them back and forth. Finally Washington grabbed Corporal Peters and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him to keep swinging it so they could see where they were heading. Corporal Peters stood up braving the wind and driving rain, swinging the lantern back and forth. A while later a big gust of wind hit and threw Corporal Peters and his lantern into the Delaware. Washington and his troops searched for hours trying to find Corporal Peters but to no avail. All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one their favorites. An hour later Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them they must go on. After awhile,... Mon, 05 Sep 2005 19:54:06 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/american-hystory-lesson-where-did-are-you-kidding/19/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/american-hystory-lesson-where-did-are-you-kidding/19/ Top 10 Dog & Cat Characteristics 10. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you. 9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life. 8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door. 7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse. 6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap. 5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all. 4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all. 3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away. 2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes. 1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since... Mon, 05 Sep 2005 19:50:08 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/the-truth-about-cats-and-dogs/18/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/the-truth-about-cats-and-dogs/18/ havent you ever wondered why the people on  the cover of  some procucts ares milling ?   why do these people smile what do they know that i dont know.what is the reason that these people  are smiling.   are they smiling becuas they made money oin a product i have to pay for???   are the smiling becuas there foto models and im just a  simple worker??   are they smiling becuas they know that the product is to pricey and im still buying it.   are they smiling becuas they were drugged???   are they smiling becuas there was a big man with a gun pointing at them and they were nervous????   are they smiling becuas they know i wil  die from the produckt???   are they smiling becuas some one told a good joke???   are they smiling becues they have just heard what youre paychek is????   i dont know why theses people are smilling so im never buying produckt with smiling people id... Mon, 05 Sep 2005 19:36:01 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/evil-products./17/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/evil-products./17/ yes i have done it i spend 22 years of my life trying to solve this mistery .  realy a mistery  that went so deep that the evry goverment is involved in it.  mulder scully eat youre hart out.   where does the donut hole go ?   i mean you eat the donut and its gone  but it was there when you bought it. you even paid for the hole but you never had the change to eat it. or experiance the hole. just ask the baker to sell you a donut with out a hole it isnt there.. so where does this hjole go? does it add up to some huge blackhole in the sky that will suck earth in ? well acording to nasa it isnt (thank god) but than where does it go and why dooes it go there? so i went to the great knowitall  YOGHURT. after some spaceballs merchandise comercials he gave me a fortune cookie  and told me the asnwer would be revealed to mee when the time was right, i had to remeber to oen the cookie before eating it..   after that i thought... Mon, 22 Aug 2005 18:35:13 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/the-bigest-mistery-revealed./16/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/the-bigest-mistery-revealed./16/ why did the chicken cross the road . after carfull intervieuwing these people the answer to this enigma has been found   THE FRENCH Obviously, everyone knows that the American Chicken is morally and intellectually inferior and crossed the road merely to surrender. We would.   GEORGE W. BUSH He was looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction.   CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.   SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of aggression and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. But it wasn't really 'our' nerve gas because we don't have any.   well yousee the asnwer is clear the chciken was a terrorist   Mon, 22 Aug 2005 18:09:27 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/yes-peaople-one-the-most-important-questions-has/15/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/yes-peaople-one-the-most-important-questions-has/15/   me as a dutch guy like to use the word fuck. but people kept telling me i was swaering and when even my teacher told me not to use the word unless i could proof that it wasnt  a swaer word. the smart guy thought that he had won becuas id never could proof it. bad for him i found this and told him this (thanks to the people of monthy python)       Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word fuck. Out of all the words that begins with the letter f, fuck is the only word revered to as the f word it’s the one magical word just by it sound can describe pain pleasure hate and love. Fuck as most words in the English vocabulary is derived from German, the word frighen witch means to strike. In English fuck falls into many dramaticle categories. As an transitive verb for instance   “ john fucked Shirley “ as an... Tue, 26 Jul 2005 18:13:41 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/outsmarting-a-teacher/14/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/outsmarting-a-teacher/14/ hey guy's i know a scary story Shut up cartman you can't scare anybody. ohw yea, have you guys ever heard of........ skuzzelbud? whatelbud? skuzzelbud is a creature that lives on this very moutain, and kills evry body that climbs to the top. why? becuas it loves the taste of blood and likes to add peaches to its devormed body. devormed how ? well on it left arm in stead of a hand he has, a knife ? a hook ? no a peace celery celery? yes and he walk with a limp becuas one of his legs is missing , and where his leg should be there is nothing more than ................ patrick duffey patrick duffey? damned cartman thats not scary . what do you mean have you ever seen step by step? so he lives alone on this mountain and weaves baskets and other asorted crafts they that on quiet knites you can hear him weaving his baskets. ktsing,ktsing,ktsing cartman u suck at telling scary stories , give me that flashlight Sun, 10 Apr 2005 21:03:41 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/scary-story/13/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/scary-story/13/ i was just wondering youalways read stuff like 4 OUT OF TH 5 PEOPLE SUFFER FROM DIARIA does that mean that the 5th person actualy likes it? (own show) Mon, 07 Mar 2005 22:12:44 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/i-was-just-wondering/12/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/i-was-just-wondering/12/ before i became this i had a ide soectrum off od jobs. paperboy cleaner metermaid. the job i hated the most was behind the cash register. but i did gave me some head ups to anoy people behind a cash register. to anoy them buy something cheap the cheaper the better. and pay with a 50 bill when the cashier is almost done giving the dhange tell him or her that u have the exact amount. like when u buy a can for 45 cents and oay with a 50 tell em oh wait i have 45 cents with that 50. trust me the look on the casiers face is unforgettable Sat, 05 Mar 2005 21:14:04 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/well-that-sounds-like-fun/11/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/well-that-sounds-like-fun/11/ you know i dont het why people date. especialy man . they have to pay for the drinks and the cinema. even when the girls says she will pay to she expects the guy to turn the offer down. else you wont get the Call mee line, but the it was nice well see ya line. but being single bites too. so i thought what the hell lets go to a datingsite. thinking this was the cheapest way to date becuas a site doesnt deplete youre walet. Sat, 05 Feb 2005 18:26:01 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/dating/10/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/dating/10/ at an high school reunion the populair kids from than are talking about how many people that are under them . mike:well at the last count there were 49 people under me. john: thats nothing i have 150 people under me james:phoe thats all i have 200 people under me than the school push over comes . mark: where you talking about? all three: about how much people there are under us. mike:so mark how many people arethere under you , 1 or -2? they all laugh mark: well about 500 and there are coming more evry day. all three are staring at mark james: but what do you for a living than ? mark: who me ? im a caretaker Tue, 01 Feb 2005 17:56:25 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/the-big-boss/9/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/the-big-boss/9/ a bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods the bear turns to the rabit and asks"pardon me but do you have problems with shit sticking to youre fur? and the rabbit says no so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit Tue, 01 Feb 2005 17:33:33 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/a-bear-and-a-rabbit/8/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/a-bear-and-a-rabbit/8/ who of the people here smoke? that much huh. well here in the netherlands whe have warnings on the packages. so when i was picking up my niece from school . i stumbled acros some kids trtading something. me as yu gi oh player thought hey maybe they have some good cards for me. i walked over to the small group. (kid 1) I HAVE ONE SMOKING IS DEADLY , AND I WANA TRADE IT TO YOURE SMOKING IS HIGLY ADDICTIVE DONT START. (kid 2) no way man you have to offer me more than that one. this one is rare (kid 1)OK OK I OFFER MY SMOKING IS DEADLY WITH MY YOURE DOCTOR CAN HELP U STOP SMOKING. (kid 2) ok man you have a deal. now i have all warnings . isnt that just sick ? and why are there warning on em actualty? people that smokeknow that it is deadly . they dont go |" WHAT IS IT DEADLY MAN I THOUGHT IT WERE FUCKING VITAMINS." (OWN SHOW) (PLEASE COMMENT THIS BLOG ON WHAT I MUST CHANGE ) Sun, 30 Jan 2005 20:43:23 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/smoking/7/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/smoking/7/ well me for being a gamer and all. do i owe a playstation 2 so when one day my playstation 2 sudenly acted up i called the help desk. (lady behind phone)GOOD AFTERNOON MY NAME IS MARY AND WHAT CAN I BE HELPING YOU WITH TODAY. (me) good afternoon my playstation acted up this saturday and it doesnt do anything anymore. (lady on phone)WICH VERSION OF THE PLAYSTATION DO YOU OWN SIR? (me) i own the gray one miss (lady on phone)IM SORRY SIR WHE DONT HAVE A GRAY PLAYSTATION 2 . WHE HAVE THE REGULAR BLACK ONE , THE SATIN SILVER, AND THE COBALT BLEU. (me) ok i own the satin silver (lady on phone)WHAT COLLOR HAS IT SIR? (ME)i just said that satin silver (woman on phone)IM SORRRY SIR WHE DONT HAVE THAT COLLOR WHE HAVE SOFT BLACK , OCEANIC BLEU AND GRAY. (me)but you just told me that was called the satin silver? (lady on phone)NO SIR THAT IS THE VERSION OF THE PLAYSTATION 2 AND NOT THE COLLOR. (me) ok i have the grey satin silver. (lady on phone) AND WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH THE PLAYSTATION... Sun, 30 Jan 2005 20:27:59 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/playstation-2/6/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/playstation-2/6/ Hey guys don't you hate that when youre in bed with three women, and the least atractive one whispers "SAVE IT FORME".......man thats a drag. But that's what my life's like,crazy thigns happen to me . one time when i was having an outer body experiance, my body went to vegas with all my credit cards , had some kindoff fling with a 500$ a night hooker , but you think i could explain it to my wife ???? NOO women see what they wana see . and they love to have sex now you know women , im sick to death of it. and i think i speak for the rest of the guys when i say " HEY LADIES CAN'T WHE EVER JUST .... HUG ? IS THAT THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN COM..UNI...CATE? if you ever wana freak a woman out just do that guys just turn down sex ONCE they will freak out man , becuas they dont expect guys rto turn down sex . becuas guys are like dogs waiting to be let out of a car. (jim carrey in the comedy store) Sat, 29 Jan 2005 21:22:24 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/opservational-humor/5/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/atom_ant1/opservational-humor/5/