just for laughs

Mood: kinda angry
Listening to: systemn of a down

why are there so many  horror movies cliche's . i mean ,  american teenagers in movies dont know how to drive, there always making accidents.

and why do they always need to have sex  in slasher movies, come on unfunctional nudity is fun but not when it is this lame .

(woman)ohw no three of oure friends are murreder, no more butchered to death what are we going to do now(man) well i think it a good idea if werr gone shag like rabbits, so you wil scream like a slag. so the killer will know where we are so he can easily find us, making us both scream before getting axed to death, making the 2 other survivors think that were screaming beguas we were shagging. (woman) euhm well that sounds completly idiotic , ok lets do it

and why do they always scream when the killer is in front of them, i mean  RUN YOU FRIKING IDIOT HE IS CARRYNG  AN AXE HE IS NOT RUNNING AS FAST AS YOU .

and not to  speak about the motives for the slaucher.

WELL SUZIE YOU SEE IN KINDERGARTEN  WE WERE A COUPOLE   AND YOU KISSED JONNY  WHILE MARY  AND JOHN HELD ME BACK  AND BUCK PULLED DOWN MY PANTS, AND THATS WHY THEY HAD TO DIE .

and why is there always  one slag , one jock, one junk and a nerd in those movies , and who survives ???? indeed the nerd. and why ? did killers become political correct all of the sudden .

like there in court and the judge goes. ok mister cavania, you slauchtered 4 of youre 5 frienfdd the only one who  survived is there behind you , we alreadfy know why you did it , so we are going to log you up . OBJECTION YOU'RE HONOUR, although my client has murdered hsi friends he only killed  the racist , the sports jerk hi on steriods, the school slag and the drop out junkie ,objection sustaned , mister cavania you are free to go  and i think i speak for the rest of this court room  thank you  for ridding the world of them pests .

and there are never any  original killings, you have the axe in the head , the knife in the back, the ever popular decapitation , and not to forget the skewer death .

come on think of something more origional ,and dont copy eachother. a man in a hokey mask is  ok but not if there will be more masked killers .

Mood: happy
Listening to: dir en grey

a couple of days back the new hit me that bush  was hit by bird shit , im thinking he will respond like this . 

my fellow americans

 a couple a days back, after that dutch guy the hoop sceffer left,

 i was  attacked by a bird, this  un provoked act of terrorism will not be left unpunished,

in retaliation of this act of terrorism whe have executed  both big  bird and  his little friend tweety for issuing the  what we believe teroristic code  I TINK I TAW A PUTTY TAT.

by setting this example to  bird extremist all over the world, we hope this will be an isolated incident.

to preserve oure saftey  we got the best the police of america has to ofeer , we hired reno 911.

We are now looking into  the where abouts of the leader of this flock of birrds, so far whe have found none, and that made me decide to  throw cluster bombs on central park.

furthermore i am happy to tell you my suit  was not destroyed in the attack , if it was e would have send it to the president of france as a going away gift.

in these times of fear , we must look out for the birds in oure suroundings, becuas you dont know if that  sweet singing bird from youre next door elderly  neighbour will turn into  a bird extremist  an shit all over her

to keep safety we removed all bird seed from grocery stores, we will try to provoke a realiation from the birds to see who there leader is .

we also do belive the birds cary wmd's we dont know how the birds got this far in the hatred for america and her citisens , but we do belive the dodo is at the core of this.

thank you verymuch  

people are always talking about  time travel.

but the forget the downsides of going to the future or to the past .

for instance if you go to the future u  can meet this wonderfull girl  who likes the same things you do. you fuck her and next thing you find out its youre grandchild.

an other reason why going to the future sucks is seeing the old you with the old  wife  seeing that  could seriuosly fuck up youre  relation ship. becuas now you know how youre girlfriend is gona look in  6o years.

 

and going to the past is also  screwed up. if for instance you would  by accident  make love to youre grandmother who is youre age than you could turn out to be youre own grand dad,

 

youre clothes would be found weird and youd be killed. or worse , a fashion idol.

 

going through time would make jean cluade van damme  come after you  together with those other timecops , and that is also something you wouldnt like .

and with all the speed limits you couldnt get you're delorian at the good speed to  timetravel and what if you got flashed  for speeding.

 

tap ap ,sir please lower youre window, did you know how hard you were driving   

well officer i think nearly lightspeed.

 thats right sir and what the maximum speed limit on this time strip?

euh  the speed of sound?

yes the speed of sound  so that means you shot past that  with billions of speed more .

so that would make you have to pay one billion  now money

 

wouldnt that be bad  if you  got that ?

 

so life now and  dont go timetraveling nothing good can come from it

 

Mood: tired
Listening to: music

well at first i ike to say that this blog is completly humor based if i  should offend anybody  in there believes or anything  i really am sorry this was not my intension to do.

 

70 virgins , thats what you get wehn you blow youre self up  to punish the dis believers.

that sounds really cool doesnt it .  by the press of one button  you get 70 virgins, and you go to heaven.

there you can do what ever you want  with  70 virgins.

but the thing that struc me when hearing this is . so there virgins and theres 70 of em .

welll if you do the nasty  yoiuy will run out of birginds in 70 days or even less.

and why are they virgine?

=would be scary though if you open the gates of heaven and 70 5 year olds run towards you , you  pissed go to  =the office in heaven and demand to speak to  the manager.

angryly you tell him you feel fucked by the 70 5 year old girls.

and the guy goes  hey there virgine and there are 70 of em .

or what  if the  gates open and you see 70 dread fu ll ugly woman standing there,

so ugly you go damn nowonder youre so ugly.

and there have been w lot of blowing ups in the world so i think heaven must  be running out of virgins.

"Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre

 

Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten."

Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same
offense.

Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg.

Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built
with his own hands.
Net humorist Tina Mancuso collects and shares strange statements in fifth and
sixth grade science papers:

Question: What is one horsepower? Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy
it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed
for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are
things that are still all mixed up.

You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to
getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never
been able to make out the numbers.

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as
many H's as O's.

Clouds are high flying fogs.