Half-empty or half-full?
Mood: bi-polar
Listening to: voices around me, voices inside my head
what is a good sign that you're getting old?
will it be a physical, tangible change (like crow's feet and wrinkles and bags beneath your eyes and white hair sprouting where there were previously black/brown ones) or will it be a lot subtler but definietly more nerve-wracking (such as hormonal imbalances, memory loss, and, god forbid, incontinence)?
i had my eyes checked today and from a grade of 4.00/2.50 (no astigmatism), it skyrocketed to 4.50/3.50 (1.50/1.25 astigmatism). for a split-second there, i felt old. i keep hearing my classmate in 3rd grade say: "it's the eyesight that goes first when you're about to die."
crazy, right? not really. i've been feeling "old" for several week now and i don't know if it's because i'm beginning to lose steam regarding everything -- and i DO mean EVERYTHING (lewd thoughts included). or it just might be that the fact that i'm turning 27 in half a year is actually staring me right in the face (i've a calendar beside my bed and it's the year-long one). a bitter pill to swallow in the precious hours before i go to work. get outta bed, live another day, live closer to your dying day.
oh well... so much for the thought of dying.
anyway, the bright spot today is the fact that i can see the world clearly again. it's literally seeing the world with lenses (though not rose-colored ones). it's the only thing that actually lifted my ever-dropping will to get outta bed.
imagine! i ACTUALLY see the stereotypes of beauty ever-present on billboards and posters strewn around the city. a guy i've been ignoring at the office actually looks kinda cute with 4.50/3.50 contact lenses on (on me, i mean). i can type without pressing my nose to the monitor, leaving oil marks in the shape of chernobyl-ed butterflies. i can say hello back to someone i know waving from accross the street without having to ask my companinons, "who in the hell was that?!?" (and that is after i've waved hello back).
the bad thing, though, is that i can see the small zits and whiteheads on the tip of my nose 10ft away from the mirror. i realized, i've been seeing myself as a goddess for a few days now, only to realize that i've been shedding skin, hair all over the place, and the dimples on my cheeks were actual zits. myopia can do more damage to the ego than to your health, if i should say so. and to top it all of, the guy at the office you've been batting your eyelashes at actually looks like jim carrey with 20/20 vision. jim carrey in THE MASK. 
a big punch to my self-esteem, really.
so, the question of the day is:
"do you see the glass half-empty or do you see it half-full?"
my answer and personal favorite?
fill the glass with beer and gulp it down. everything will look lovelier after 3 bottles. no contact lenses needed. 
