numnber 7.
Mood: happy
Listening to: the sounds of a libary
is it morally wrong to have sex with someone simply because they want to?
we are getting up to stuff, and i point out that shes horny, in a play ful way, i ask " what cha thinkin?" she says "guess"
so i do. "you wanna fuck, but you to timid, and scared i dont want to?" . "yea". i basically hinted that i did'nt. [i have really weird issues about the peaple i have sex with, its has to be something, and certainly with a person i like, also we are still in that early phase of a relationship and i'm in no rush].
as i let her know this, i just saw her whole body droop, i did'nt like seeing this, so i agreed [in not so clinical a term]. to say it was a chuckle bros affair would be a understatment. and i dont care for details [particularly considoring its not just my private matters on show here but...]
- so things go yum, and things go in.
- not so long in, i go "oh condom"
- i start putting a condom on, for it to be too small big ego boost] and hurt some, taking me out of the mood [ a mood i was'nt in from the start]
- so i take it off, become horny again and carry on.
- not so long and not such stella a performance later its over.
i'm more intrigued than annoyed or embarrassed time/intentisty oh it all, and i really could blame it all on the fact i've not done anything in 8 month or on a deferance in sexual nature or any of that shit. but to be honest it comes down to two very important things.
1. my reltionship is based on personality not sexual want, which means i simple dont want to ravesh her all night long.it means [perhaps more importantly] that i care what she thinks, i fret and worry.
2. particularly the first time, with a person i care about, i need it not to be planned, for it not to be talked about and for it to be some spontantious passionate affair, like the other two important members of her new cliche, she does'nt realise this about me, that i need for it to be something more that just sex. that just fucking certainly does'nt interest me.
the only peaple i've every had amazing sex with are those where its been simple sexual, or where its been with someone with a strong emotional attachment and we were just there.
i dont thing me and naomi are there.
[to be honest even tho my performance judging by my past was pretty dismass, my macho ego is'nt hurt, particularry when i found out easters best sexual encounter was fucking twice in one night. on just one occasion mind. i'm not pathetic enough to think i'll never be able to make her come or last any decent lenth, so i aint that bothered about myself, i know i've made women come, and i know when i feel it im pretty good in bed]
i just want her to understand me better. and i'm sure she will do in her own time.
arn't new relationships fun?
jayce
