http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things I cry in sad movies, I love foreign films, I type with all my fingers, and I do attempt to put my brain in gear before releasing the throttle on my mouth. I'm also a reformed potty mouther, I would live on sour cream dip if that was possible, and I can't cook to save myself. On the upside, I look fantastic in flannelette jarmies, and yes, that is possible. I have a lovely daughter, a very hardy houseplant, and a car with the wrong colour badge. I live in heels but love my gumboots and blunnies. I consistantly make poor dating decisions. Yay me!! en Sassy1 Sassy1 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:24:50 +0100 daily 1 I am sitting, joyful, delighted, hopeful, and tired, using for the first time, my wireless internet connection. Long live whoever invented this magnificent manner of connecting to the interwebs.   Things here in Sasstropolis are moving slowly - Jay is still wonderful... Nicky is still beautiful... my new job is still challenging and interesting and not at all what I expected... Happily I can report that Jay is seeking work in Sassville, which, should he be successful in that task, will take us back to that happy place where I blogged so many blogs, and smiled so many smiles, and befriended so many friends. By comparison, Sasstropolis has been a lonely, sometimes quite isolating place to be, and I would revel in an opportunity to rejoin the Sassville community.   Its where I belong.   So I'm saying a little prayer each day, that Jay gets the job. He's perfect for it... the only stumbling block may be that I think the guy who'd be his boss might hate me... but thats only... Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:24:50 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/now-with-all-the-tools-at-my-disposal/5304/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/now-with-all-the-tools-at-my-disposal/5304/ Well, it would appear that even the advent of a new and beautiful computer isn't aiding me in getting online as often as I would like to blog.  The main issues is that the computer connection (because we live in the dark ages) is a hardwired number, and the only plug-in point is in the computer room. Add that to the fact that I'm only able to access to write when noone else is using the damn thing, and that Jay's children are fucking wired to it 24/7 when they are here, and I'm not getting much computer time action at the moment. Plus blogging is one of those solo activities, and the delightful Jay keeps coming in to check on me - makes blogging really really hard. Christmas went well - Jay took his children to his sisters house about 11am, to spend their Christmas with his family - and Nicky and I had a lovely time here. The whole family came around, and it was great. Jay came back (sans children) around 3pm, and my sister had brought her guitar, so a singalong was on like donkey... Mon, 28 Dec 2009 11:35:00 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Christmastime-in-Sasstropolis/5303/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Christmastime-in-Sasstropolis/5303/ Just as soon as I can figure out how to make my new computer cut and paste into this space my friends...]]   Ah, Blog. How I have missed you!!! So many thoughts unshared - so much angst just... cried out at night rather than spilled poetically or swearfully across the internet for the voyeuristic pleasure of a very very few... But here I am. Back. It cost me though. I write from my new and improved and own (not supplied by a generous employer...) sexy little laptop. Anyone who's in the market - AppleMacBook Pro. I'm pretty sure that it can remember my birthday, and order me flowers, it can completely connect with my favourite restaurant and make reservations, and I know if it had just one more plug in attachment Jay would be getting a run for his money!!!! So the reason for the radio silence was a sudden and complete move and change of circumstance. I got a great new job, moved from Sassville, and took up residence in a lovely big home in nearby Sasstropolis with the delightful Jay. Its... Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:42:00 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/I-m-Baaaccckkkk/5302/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/I-m-Baaaccckkkk/5302/ So today has not been a good day really. Its topped off a pretty shitty week really. I feel really angry. Mr. D. has been behaving like a giant fuckwit. I know I should be cool about that by now, but for whatever reason I keep expecting better from him. Last week, he gave Nicky her birthday present on Friday night (her birthday was on Sunday) and then left her at home with his wife while he went to the pub. Father of the fucking year, or what. She rang me to tell me what she'd got - she was so excited, and she was so disappointed that he wasn't there. I don't understand what kind of moron can possibly do that to their child and not realise the effect its having on her. Then, to top it off, he refused to let her bring home her present, and he sent her home on Sunday afternoon with my sister - the one who hates my guts. He couldn't even be bothered to drop her off himself - on her bloody birthday of all days. He asked Nicky to ask me if she could... Sun, 01 Mar 2009 12:58:25 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Bitchin-the-Loungeroom-cos-thats-where-the-computer/5301/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Bitchin-the-Loungeroom-cos-thats-where-the-computer/5301/ Late last week my wonderful Ellvis came out to stay... he does that one or two nights a week. And we were chatting away about some rubbish or other, and he said "Well, when I move out here blah blah blah..." I pulled him up  - What do you mean when you move out here? Well, he says, I've been thinking about it. About us. About us moving in together. Wow. Didn't really see that coming... Not so soon I mean. And we had a talk about it - I can see it happening, but it will take quite a bit of planning and organising and thinking through clearly. I love that about Ellvis. He understands that we can't just go "Lets move in" and do it the next day. We've both got things we need to get sorted before we move in with each other though. I really want to get on top of my financial situation. This is the year I get debt free. I'm on the way. Ellvis has to get his situation sorted out with his children and his ex.... Sun, 15 Feb 2009 11:36:53 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Moving-on-Moving-In/5300/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Moving-on-Moving-In/5300/ We're currently experiencing strong winds, and the fire front is just 30km from here. 30km used to seem like a lot, you know. Until those poor peoples lives were wiped out by a fire storm that travelled 25km in 15 minutes. I doubt that a fire would travel that FAST to get here, but certainly that far. Easily that far. And in this wind, certainly not slow. Frightened. Worried. Thinking I should have packed Nicky in the car and taken her to my parents house where it is absolutely safe and out of the zone. She's in bed now. Maybe I'm overreacting. I'm probably overreacting. They've been strengthening containment lines all day... but I don't know. This wind. The wind is scaring the hell out of me. Tue, 10 Feb 2009 11:04:50 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Fire-and-Wind/5299/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Fire-and-Wind/5299/ So been doing a bit of thinking lately about the nature of exes. Ellvis's ex is a full fledged, no holds barred, unbelievably bad, makes me want to preface her title with a few f-bombs, BITCH. Seriously. The woman takes an insane delight in making his life difficult, and has no qualms whatsoever about using the children as weapons. She farms them out to other people so she can get drunk every weekend they are supposed to stay there - what kind of mother does that every weekend??? Fuck, she gets every second weekend to do that, and that isn't enough??? Please. My ex, by comparison, is like one of those dreams that you wake up from feeling shit, but you can't really put your finger on what the exact problem was. Not a nightmare, per se, just a crap dream. But at the same time, remote and not really connected to your reality and without any power to actually interfere with you or hurt you. (and keep in mind that this is how I feel Right Now and probably won't... Sun, 01 Feb 2009 15:05:15 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Free-writing/5298/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Free-writing/5298/ That nearly all the blogs on my blogroll are now defunct? All the bloggers I used to read, the ones who got me into this whole caper, have disappeared from view. Moved on to greener pastures perhaps. Got girlfriends maybe. Found God. Who knows. What I do know is that it is really hard to find a good blog to read these days though. Mine has gone rather dull since I met Ellvis I know... Its like there isn't anything good to write about now that there isn't any angsty shit going down in my life anymore... Boo for Happiness! I wonder if you've hit up any interesting blogs, either on purpose or by accident? Googling is almost pointless if you're looking for interesting reading. The ones you find there are famewhores and not interesting at all on the whole. Perez Hilton is a prime example. Famous for Blogging, Shit Blog. I might have to make a more concentrated effort to locate some interesting ones and update my blogroll. I can't believe I've been at... Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:35:19 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Did-you-know/5297/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Did-you-know/5297/ I just finished reading "How to Kill your Husband (and other handy household hints) and I have to say that it was utterly dreadful. Maybe its just the state of mind I'm in at the moment, but the idea that all men are lying cheating assholes, and that marriage is basically a death sentance for your sex life, romance and intimacy is abhorrent to me. I know that married couples must get used to each other... but I wonder if there isn't something implicit in becoming married to someone that means that you are going to make an effort NOT to slide into that sort of numbness. Wedding Vows along the lines of: I promise to never take you for granted, or ignore you, or let you do all of the housework all of the time... I promise that I will make the effort to keep our sex life fulfilling and interesting for both of us... I promise to clean up half the vomit, poo and wee from our pets and children, and all of yours when you are ill... I promise to not... Sun, 04 Jan 2009 13:40:47 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/An-Appalling-Book/5296/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/An-Appalling-Book/5296/ So tomorrow evening, at 5.30pm, I have to take my beautiful Nicky to meet her Dad. She will be spending the next three weeks with him, including the entire Christmas / New Year period. I'll see her again in the second week of January. Feels like forever away. I know that I should be focussing on the fact that next year it will be my turn, and that I want her to have a good relationship with her Dad, and that she's happy there and that Christmas is really a time for children, and it isn't fair to drag her between houses at Christmas time. But there is a very selfish part of me that just wants to keep her here with me and spend Christmas Day with my little girl. I look after her all year, I'm the one who provides for her, who cares for her when she's sick, who stays up all night with her when she's got nightmares, who takes off work when she needs to stay home, who volunteers at her school and packs her lunch every day and tucks her into bed at night. ... Fri, 19 Dec 2008 11:30:07 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Christmas-without-Nicky/5295/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Christmas-without-Nicky/5295/ Funny thing happened the other night. I went to the local oval to watch my man Ellvises children playing cricket. He had made a lovely dinner for us, bought me a fold up chair and the whole deal. He's a honey. Anyway, we were sitting there watching the children, and his ex wife was there. She was sitting with a bunch of her friends, occasionally sending us a foul look and drinking beer from a bottle. We just minded our own, but it was hard to ignore the very loud conversation going on beside us... "Has he introduced you to her yet??" Mumbled reply, laughter. Then this, from his ex wife... "Well, it has to be a legitimate relationship. They've had coffee together!" Laughs her her head off.   Now, a few weekends ago, we were in a local coffee shop, getting a coffee before heading out on a well planned hunt through the Saturday morning Garage Sales. In line behind us, two people back, was his ex... Sat, 06 Dec 2008 11:14:00 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/An-Official-Relationship/5294/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/An-Official-Relationship/5294/ Authorities have recovered a stolen 18-carat gold bookmark that reportedly was given to Adolf Hitler by his longtime mistress, Eva Braun. Christian Popescu, a Romanian national, was arrested on Tuesday outside a Bellevue Starbucks after trying to sell the bookmark to an undercover agent for $US100,000 ($A152,850), according to papers filed in US District Court. Federal prosecutors said the bookmark was among several items taken in an auction-house heist in Madrid, Spain, six years ago. At the time, some antiquities experts questioned its authenticity. The bookmark is engraved with a portrait of Hitler as well as an imperial eagle and swastika, and its inscription indicates that Braun gave it to Hitler to console him after German forces surrendered at Stalingrad. "My Adolf, don't worry," it reads, adding that the loss was "only an inconvenience that will not break your certainty of victory. My love for you will be eternal, as our Reich will be eternal.... Thu, 27 Nov 2008 03:09:01 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Um-but-if-he-stole-it-from-an-Auction-House/5293/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Um-but-if-he-stole-it-from-an-Auction-House/5293/ So I've been emailing back and forth with a very nice girl on here who contacted me when I left and then came back... and I haven't written back to you in forever because I am clearly the worlds most shit penfriend, and now my email has corrupted and I have lost your email address!!   Can you pretty please please email me again - I'm also wondering if you are on facebook? If so, you can totally use my email to search and add me, I'm a way better facebook friend than I am penpal. I promise!!     (I totally realise that this is of no interest to anyone else, but its important to me and its my blog so ner ner ner eat my shorts etc.!) Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:57:06 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/A-Shout-Out-to-YOU-KNOW-WHO-YOU-ARE/5292/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/A-Shout-Out-to-YOU-KNOW-WHO-YOU-ARE/5292/ So Mrs. Macca was so kind as to point out to me that this blog has been getting a bit... boring lately. Its true, sorry to say! I've been so busy / happy lately that there isn't a) any time or b) anything interesting to say! But here are some small things to keep you happy Mrs. Mac... A little story about Bad Service: After a full morning perusing other peoples stuff at garage sales on the weekend, Ellvis and I decided that we would have a lovely lunch at a local cafe. So we went into the cafe, took a seat and placed our order with the waitress. Shortly afterwards, another waitress arrived with our beverages. Ellvis's coffee, and my pot of tea. She put the drinks down, and asked me if I needed milk. I said, yes please. I then added, I asked for extra milk. She snapped back at me "Yeah, well I only have two hands." Clearly she was not having a good day / was a shithouse waitress. She bought the milk out and then went over to the next... Sun, 16 Nov 2008 12:14:00 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Far-too-Happy-or-is-it-busy-to-blog/5291/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Far-too-Happy-or-is-it-busy-to-blog/5291/ My Sister Is Back In The Country...   I knew this week was going to be bad, I didn't realise it was going to be THIS bad.   But then, perhaps Dad is right. Perhaps she's improved while she's been away.   Perhaps she's had a personality transplant and is returning as a pleasant person to be around. Hope springs eternal, right?   Friday night, shindig for my brothers 21st. Should be great fun. Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:59:04 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Oh-Goody./5290/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Oh-Goody./5290/ So last year I did the right thing and went to have one of those nasty Pap Smears that one hears about ladies having. Nasty, embarassing. Apparently my inside bits are as twisted and upside down as the rest of my life, so finding the bit to smear is difficult. But thats fine, because its only every two years right? Wrong. That little test came back abnormal, so I had to go back again this year and again have my lady parts examined and smeared. And again, this years test was abnormal. So apparently what happens when you are abnormal two years running is that they send you off to a gynacologist, who is just the next step up the vaginal examinatory team ladder. I trundled off to my appointment (which took me a month and a half to get by the by) with a fist full of cash ($240) and when I was called in was relieved to see the lovely little doctor lady. She was in a pretty skirt, and we had a lovely chat during which she gathered my details. I perused the... Sun, 19 Oct 2008 12:03:33 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/A-little-issue-with-my-undercarriage/5289/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/A-little-issue-with-my-undercarriage/5289/ Go Here and Play This: www.freerice.com   Or Try This: http://www.catchmentdetox.net.au/play-game/   Both of them are educational - don't mock me because I like to waste my time learning stuff. Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:53:50 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Bored/5288/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Bored/5288/ So I'm doing this course at the moment, apparently its a Diploma in Business Management. I used to have a bit of respect for people who went off and did a course like that - I mean, its not a Degree, but its better than a Cert IV. Usually, takes two to three years to do. Its intensive. Its worthwhile. It means you have a sound knowledge of the principles of Business Managment. But this one, this alleged course, is only 10 DAYS LONG. 10 days, spread over a year usually - in my case I'm doing it in 6 months, as I am part of a group who has been "fasttracked". The assessments are easy, the days themselves are actually only 10am - 3pm, 4pm at an utter stretch. Getting to Melbourne and back takes longer than that. I spend four hours to get there actually, and another four to get home, so its three hours longer in travel time than it is in learning time. Geez. I am really cross about it actually. I'm paying a bit of money to do it - I mean, its... Thu, 09 Oct 2008 11:42:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Cruising-through-the-Course/5287/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Cruising-through-the-Course/5287/ Today I feel utterly satisfied with everything in my life. I awoke this morning in the warm and incredibly sexy arms of Ellvis... wrapped up in a hug that makes me feel cared for and protected and strong and somehow free all at the same time. He kissed the back of my neck and without saying a word, he... well... if it were a film, the camera would have panned upwards and focussed on the artworks above my bed and some beautiful romantic music would have been playing, something sweet and gentle, yet powerful and with a strong throbbing baseline so that you knew what was going on... then it would have panned back down to me wrapped up in his arms again, and he in mine, legs tangled, both looking flushed and happy and satisfied. And then there was some talking, soft and quiet, some laughter - tickles and kisses and sweet delicious nothings, then I am utterly delighted to report that the camera would have panned back on up there again, to that place on the wall,... Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:30:44 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Happiness/5286/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/Happiness/5286/ So I bought a new car not so long ago. A month ago, to be exact. Last weekend, my dear car's battery died in my driveway, at approximately 6.30pm. I was home alone, and was about to head out to a function at our local footy club. We'd won a double premiership (reserves and the firsts) and we were out to have a party... most of the town was there. So I'm in the driveway and my battery is dead. There was no reason for this - there weren't any lights on or anything, the doors were all shut, I hadn't killed it, it had just died of natural causes. I needed a jump start. Then I remembered that I had been given 24 hour roadside assistance with my car! Yay! So I rang up. And the lady made the following points to me: 1) I live a long way from the city. 2) It would be a very long wait to get someone out to me. 3) I would be better off waiting till Monday if I could. 4) If there was someone else who could help me... Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:44:38 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/My-FREE-24hour-Roadside-Assist-Story/5285/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/all_the_small_things/My-FREE-24hour-Roadside-Assist-Story/5285/