All The Small Things

Hand that girl an Oscar!

What an interesting evening I've had. I ducked in to see the tick tock person, and we had the most interesting conversation.

It would appear that all this time, I have been labouring under a silly misapprehension. A very silly misapprehension. I thought he had a frigging clue. Apparently, I was wrong. Soooo Sooo Wrong.

So we are chatting, about the girl we've been calling "Mary". So he say's that she came into the shop today. I ask if he's asked her out. He say's no. He doesn't do that, he's NEVER ASKED A GIRL OUT.

Interesting, no? (I almost said, you asked me out! But decided not to be a smartarse about it.)

So he goes on to say that he didn't think that she'd say yes anyway. I say, yes, she would. I have it on good authority that she would. Oh, I don't know, he says. Well, if you like her, you should ask her out. Maybe he says. I say, do you like her? Oh, yeah, I guess so, but she wouldn't like me. Bloody rubbish, say's I. Subject moves on.

I was there for about an hour, all up. Usual stuff, then the "Mary" thing comes up again. By this stage, you have to understand that I'm a bit tired of hearing about it, from both sides. In fact, the idea that he's interested in dating someone else bothers me, and that they are both so *incredibly insensitive* as to talk to me about one another is doing my head in.

So I decide to just come a bit clean, attempt to clear the air a little. This is, I will have it known, a direct result of the advice of my dear friend Tink. Thankyou my dear, I can only reiterate my previous statements about how glad I am that you've come home!! (Interpret that with sarcasm if you will, however, until final results of this are in, I shall remain coy about the true intonation of that sentence!)

So I say "Look tick tock person, about "Mary". You must know that I like you. You'd be an idiot if you didn't know that."

"But you only like me as a friend."

"Um, no actually."

"Oh!" (Look of genuine surprise)

"Yeah, well anyway, I know that you aren't interested in me and thats fine, but I just think its a bit unfair to ask me to be the person in the middle of you and "Mary". If you like her, ask her out, if you don't, don't. Its just hard for me to be the person in between, with you asking about her, her asking about you. Its just hard. It puts me in an awkward position, you know."

(This was all like one big gushing sentance without breath - or chance for him to talk, and directed for the most part to the floor just in front of my feet.)

He looked a bit odd. Then he just said he was sorry.

I said that was fine, and changed the subject.

He invited me to dinner next week, as his parents are going to be away. He's going to cook. We're going to watch video's or something, I don't know. Very odd. And he's coming out tomorrow night, and getting his haircut beforehand, so as to look nicer. Again, very very odd.

 

How can he be so oblivious to the way that I'm feeling? I'm really not that good an actress. Really. I'm as transparent as gladwrap for the most part, I couldn't keep my emotional state under wraps if my life depended on it. Every single thing that I feel is written across my face, it's in my every action. HOW COULD HE NOT KNOW THAT I LIKE HIM??

It is interesting to note that Miss Tink did say last night that in each of our conversations I do make note of when he "crosses the boundaries". Her thoughts were that he would be thinking that I am determined that we are just friends, and hence I was keeping that very clear between us.

But you and I both know dear reader, that it is the exact opposite! I bring it up when he crosses the boundaries so that HE knows that he's crossing HIS OWN boundaries. He set the silly bloody boundaries, not me! He's the one who said he just wanted to be friends, not me! I was just enforcing his rules!!! Perhaps some of my comments could be construed incorrectly, but I can only say in my defense, that I am a shithouse actress, and there is NO WAY that a normal person would not be aware of my feelings on this.

That being said, I did just read back over the comments I made the other day about "Mary". She has no idea either about the way that I'm feeling. Maybe I'm not as emotive as I thought? Maybe I do deserve an Oscar for playing the role of friend - a role that I did not choose, a role that was thrust upon me!

I have no idea. What do you guys think? Ever had someone close to you crushing on you without your knowledge??