All The Small Things

Jul 16, 2007 at 14:51 o\clock

WOW!

by: Sassy1

How calm and collected was I when I wrote that last entry!

Not feeling quite so calm today - feeling extremely toey, slightly irritable, and very confused.

So really, what has changed?

We're friends.

We talk about all the same stuff that we always talked about.

We hang out, just like we always did.

We talk on the phone, just like we always did.

 

The only thing we aren't doing is HAVING THE SEX.

I miss that.

DEAR GOD I MISS THAT.

 

Particularly when he makes comments about how much of an excellence that part of our relationship was, and how he thinks about it (and you know I'm thinking about it too... I'm just thanking the lord that its winter and he's got his sexy arms covered up with his bulky jumpers so that I don't go completely insane.)... you can see how this is messing with my head.

 

So, in closing...

 

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

But I am remaining the ever solid, very reliable, no sooking, not-taking-advantage-of-BB, FRIEND.

I deserve a bloody medal for keeping my hormones in check.

AT LEAST.

Comments for this entry:

  1. quoteButtercup2 wrote at Jul 16, 2007 at 17:01 o\clock:Ok, I guess I missed something somewhere. Why are you torturing yourself like this? Curious in Phoenix, Aly
  2. quoteSassy wrote at Jul 17, 2007 at 14:27 o\clock:Hi Aly,

    Well, don't really know how to answer that. I guess I just like BB so much that I feel that his friendship is a valuable thing, but at the same time, I am just suffering the effects of my kissing and cuddling supply being cut off by someone who still in every other way shares his life with me. Its hard to stop being physically intimate when all the other intimacy remains I guess.

    I'm coping better with it on some days than others, some days I think its all for the best (see first breakup entry) and some days I really feel frustrated by the whole thing (this entry).

    I'm trying to be a good friend to him, but you're quite right, sometimes it is torture, and I don't know why I'm doing it to myself!

    So maybe I'm just a bit pathetic, but I am seriously trying to do the best that I can for BB and for myself.

    LOL - This is more of a post than a comment!

    Sass.
  3. quoteck_boy wrote at Jul 17, 2007 at 14:56 o\clock:Sass, you are far too nice. Sometimes you have to think about yourself. I do admire you though, I couldn't put myself through the wringer like that. Do you know how many girls I have as friends who are not/have not been at some stage, objects of my desire???... None. There are plenty of blokes that I would much rather be friends with. There is a lesson in there for you, somewhere.
  4. quoteSassy1 wrote at Jul 17, 2007 at 16:14 o\clock:Hey CK - the voice of reason. And of course you are right.

    You know, I sort of long for the days when you could break up with someone and never see them again.

    Unfortunately, I live in Sassville, and I regularly bump into all of my ex-Sassville-Boyfriends, so I don't get that luxury anymore. Bumping into GM with BB = Awkward moment.

    And now with BB, not only am I going to bump into him at school, and around the town, but (as pathetic as it sounds) I just really care about him as a person, and feel like I both want and need to be here for him right now. I wouldn't want to never see him again, even if that was an option.

    I think the main problem is just that I'm so damn toey that I can hardly think straight. ;-)

    No doubt you will be reading more of my angsty rantings sooner rather than later, unless something more dramatic happens or I catch sight of something shiny and get distracted. Or I get some action!

    Take care of yourself and that beautiful lady,

    Sass.

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