All The Small Things

Apr 9, 2006 at 13:54 o\clock

Theoretical Chivalry

by: Sassy1

I think there are three types of gentlemen. (Gentlemen - Not Men)

Type One: Those men who are gentlemen because they are trying to get something from you.

These men can also be gentlemen because they are driven by their own egos to be so. Men who's self image depends on their ability to charm with their chivalry. They want you to think that they are gentlemen and swoon at their feet. They see themselves as shiny, shiny knights trotting about on noble steeds, highborn ladies tossing them favours.

On the whole, these types are bastards. They put on the tin suit, play the game, but they aren't gentlemen on the inside. Really, they are self absorbed fools who's image is much more important to them than their lady companions health, safety or general wellbeing. That they are playing the game becomes obvious when you are on your own with them. They fail to absorb simple information; for example "I really feel the cold" and persist in driving about with their windows down in the winter. This tactic is not at all gentlemanly (in that the lady in question is frozen solid) however, it does allow the adoring villagers to marvel at the shiny armour and carriage of the false knight.

What these men are trying to get from women varies. It could be dates, sexual favours, or more probably, validation. These men need to have a syncophants willing to pander to their ego's and meet their every need, while proclaiming their gentlemanly qualities to all and sundry.

Unfortunately, as good men get harder to find, this cohort appear to be on the rise.

Type Two: Those men who are gentlemen because they have been taught to be so. Most usually trained by ex's or overbearing mothers.

You can pick this sort, as their training abandons them when they are drunk, stressed, among mates, you are alone with them, or they are just in a bad mood.

On the whole, these men are not so bad. They are suitable dinner companions, not usually the sort who would embarass you in public. However, beware the party scene with this type. It is possible for you to contribute to the betterment of society by creating your own Type Two Gentleman. Take note of the malleable Non-Gentleman sitting beside you on the bus, beside you at the office. Perhaps he is your son, perhaps your brother. Whoever this raw lump of man is, mould him into the type of man we'd all like him to be. For the love of God. Mould him.

There isn't really much to say about the Type Two Gentleman. He's pretty average, the Toyota Camry of the man world as it were. On the bright side, he's generally pretty reliable. He's not embarrassing to be seen with in public, and he gets you from A to B. But he's not really going to impress. His style is not overly showy, like Type One, he's not a complete natural like Type Three, he's just kinda clunky.

Type Three: The Innate Gentleman.

There are those men who are gentlemen sometimes despite their upbringing. Who despite having no role model in their life to show them how to treat a lady, know anyway. Other times, they come from a stable, middle or upperclass background, yet still have the ability and grace to make any woman feel like a lady.

These are the gentlemen who open doors, carry heavy things for you, don't swear and walk on the curb side, without ever thinking about it. Even if it is 4am and they have imbibed more alcohol than a Rugby team after a big win, they will treat you like a lady.

These gentlemen are a rare and precious find indeed. You will have no problem recognising this sort, as they will be surrounded by good people from all walks of life. These gentlemen will not descriminate in order to create an image, they will not surround themselves with egomaniacs, instead, only the honest, those with integrity and character will be in the permanent circle of a Type Three. They tend to have a strong code of conduct, and are fiercely loyal.

 

I would say that most of the men I know fit into one of those three catagories. The fella I'm seeing now is a number three, and there are a couple of other three's around here.

But mostly the boys around Sassville are number ones and twos.

With all that that implies.

;-)

Comments for this entry:

  1. quoteSponky wrote at Apr 12, 2006 at 02:03 o\clock:I\'d Like to think I am a type 3, with MAYBE a smattering of type two thrown in.



    Hey, nobodys perfect.



    :P
  2. quoteDiddums wrote at Apr 14, 2006 at 14:27 o\clock:I\'m afraid my last boyfriend was Type One. He cared more about image than anything else. There\'s one I knew, though, who almost falls into category 3, but not quite. He was a gentleman but not very intuitive. The sort who shops on Christmas Eve, but that was the least of it :-). I think you need a Type 4.
  3. quoteSassy1 wrote at Apr 15, 2006 at 02:43 o\clock:What\'s a type four?? And where can he be found??
  4. quoteDiddums wrote at Apr 15, 2006 at 03:05 o\clock:Type Four is not very good I\'m afraid. Turns up for a meal or to stay overnight without flowers, chocolates, wine, biscuits or whatever. Gives you books about his own hobbies and switches the channel to mating seahorses when you were going to watch something else. But he doesn\'t mean to be a Neanderthal - he\'s almost Type 3 but just doesn\'t seem to \'click\'.
  5. quoteSassy1 wrote at Apr 15, 2006 at 09:11 o\clock:Dear God Diddums, why would I want one of those!!??



    (Though mating seahorses could be interesting - if only to watch a male give birth!)
  6. quoteDiddums wrote at Apr 15, 2006 at 12:21 o\clock:Indeed - no one needs Type Four :-). Though maybe he learns with age and experience. It\'s always possible...

Comment this entry