All The Small Things

This weekend was rather special. I got to spend it with some of the most powerful, intelligent, gifted, gentle, spiritual, beautiful amazing women that I've ever met.

Some of these women I've known for a while, others were new. All of them were an inspiration, and I walked away from it all thinking about how I can do so much better than I have been lately.

 

Some things that came out of the weekend for me personally, some things that I don't want to forget.

1) No one can take your power away, unless you let them.

2) ITS OK TO BE POLITICAL.

3) Politicians are just like you and me, the only difference is that they are prepared to stand up.

4) Nothing changes if no-one has the vision and drive to see and create a new way.

5) How you see yourself isn't necessarily how others see you. Maybe you're a gum tree, maybe you're a flashy flower, maybe you're a cactus. Know what you are, know what you're strengths are, know what your weaknesses are. Be the best that you can be.

 

One of the interesting things that happened during the weekend was that we were talking about blogs and I said that I kept one. One of the ladies there asked me why I did that.

And I really couldn't answer the question adequately. I don't know why it is that I do this.

My generic answer is that I always used to keep a diary, and now that I type faster than I write, this is easier. But that is a trite answer, and this lady called me on it. I don't like not knowing why I do something. I've been thinking about it a fair bit over the last couple of days though, and I still haven't been able to come up with a decent answer.

Perhaps I'm a closet extrovert, and this gives me the attention that I want? I'm a little apprehensive about this as an answer, because if I were that much of an extrovert, surely I'd write something a little bit more interesting, or host this blog somewhere where it would get more traffic, or do any one of the numerous things that can be done to get more attention to the thing. I don't really care how much traffic I get here - its inconsequential.

But at the same time, I enjoy the comments from people who do stop by to visit. I enjoy this way of keeping in touch with the friends that I've made here on-line, and those very select few whom I know in the "real world" who have an all access pass to my inner thoughts and personal personal life.

I guess my driving motivation is that I really enjoy writing in any form, and this is something that I can do that makes me feel better at the end of the day. Whether I write complete rubbish full of grammatical errors and foul language, or if it's a more well thought out missive, I just get a buzz from getting my thoughts out in words. I mean this isn't the only time that I write, but it's become one of the only places that I write purely for my own pleasure. Where I have complete and utter freedom to write in whatever manner I choose, on any subject that takes me, and it feels like flying to be able to do that.

Now before you start thinking that I'm one of those bloggers who thinks that they're going to make it big as an author, forget it. I'm not saying that I'm the worlds best writer, or even that I'm any good at it at all. I am saying that I enjoy it, and it brings me joy. Perhaps that's why I do it.

But then, why do I need to do it in the public arena?

I still don't know why I do this, but I'm going to keep thinking about it.

 

The other thing that this lovely lady asked me was if she could have the address of the blog so that she could have a look. I said no. Probably not particularly gracefully, I'm sorry to report. Again, I'm not sure why I said no. Someone suggested that its because I keep my secrets here. I said, no, I really don't have any secrets. And I don't. I used to. But not any more.

Interesting, the place where I learned that it was OK to live without my secrets and the challenges and opportunities that were given to me during that journey were given to me by this lady. So why would I not let her see this?

Well, that one's easy, isn't it.  I put so much rubbishy tripe up here that I'd rather her not see it! I am working (in the real world) to become one of the next generation of powerful, intelligent, politically aware rural woman. If one of the women that I look up to read this, I cringe to think at what they would make of me. Seriously. Look at the last couple of posts. We have me whining about my inability to use a computer and communicate effectively with my "hot" boyfriend with whom I like to "pash on". Oh, and then an edifying post on shopping and fashion. But there is always the balancing posts on what "Mr. D, the Shrew, the Brat and the Spawn" have been up to.

Maybe one day, hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll have the courage to give her the URL.

 

So now, enough soul searching, on with some housekeeping.

GM:

GM and I had our very first fight this weekend just gone. Saturday morning, 6am. And amusing in a way, because it isn't an argument that I thought we'd EVER have to have. You see, we'd met up the night before at 1.30am, after I'd been out with the girls (more on that later) and when I met up with my darling boy, he was so drunk he'd passed out in a chair in my next door neighbours back yard. This didn't really excite me to start with - I like a drink as much as the next person, as well you know, but I don't drink like GM drinks. In fact, I don't think I've ever met anyone who drinks like GM and his friends do. So not really that impressed to find him in that state, and I decided that it was probably better if we went home. A lovely young fella who is a regular club GM-er helped me to get him back to my place, and GM woke up enough to have a chat with the both of us outside, before his friend departed, and we went in to bed on our own. By the time we got to bed, it was 2am, and it would be fair to say that GM was still completely maggotted.

So imagine my horror when his alarm goes off at 6am, and he's going to drive back to the farm. Not even on his own, he's taking two others in the car with him.

You can't do that GM. You'll still be over the limit. You'll lose your license. I'll drive you.

No. I'm fine. There aren't any coppers out this time of the day anyway. I'll be fine.

Basically if you just rearrange those words over and over again, thats our argument.

He drove home, and I think we were probably equally annoyed with each other.

 

That night, he invited Nicky and I out for dinner. His parents are away, so we were up at their place looking after his little sister, his little brother, and two of his little brothers friends. It was like playing mum and dad to a really big noisy poo splattered family with appalling table manners and drinking issues.

GM and I had a chat out by the BBQ as he was cooking dinner, while Nicky was inside playing and watching cartoons with the other "kids".

I said "You were annoyed with me this morning, for not wanting you to drive, weren't you?"

"Yeah," he say's "I don't like being nagged."

"I'll do you a deal then."

"Whats that?"

"You don't drink drive, and I won't nag you."

He laughed.

"I'm serious darlin'. You can't do that. What would happen if you lost your license. You'd lose everything, your new job, you wouldn't be able to work on the farm properly, you wouldn't be able to come and see me. It'd ruin everything."

"How else am I going to get home? I can't leave my truck at your place."

"Well, we'll just have to do it better next time. I'll come get you the night before, you can drink as much as you like, then I'll drive you home in the morning in time for the girls."

"That just puts you out though."

"I'd rather do that than have you drive in the morning."

I am just still shaking my head that someone as bright as he is could come so close to killing themselves so many times, but particularly the last time, and still think that there isn't anything wrong with driving home tanked.

 

THE GIRLS NIGHT OUT:

Friday night I went out with the girls, for a very sensible ladies dinner. We got all dressed up, had a fantabulous guest speaker over dinner, and had a lovely meal in one of the back rooms of our local hotel.

After dinner, there were five of us left, and we decided to have a game of pool. It was probably about 10pm at this stage. We played a regular game, then the cook from the hotel taught us how to play "Killer" which was quite amusing considering our complete lack of skill. Killer usually gives you three lives, we had to extend it to six.

There were some guys drinking in the bar who were staying the night, and the publican said to us that if we wanted to play a game of Kelly Pool with everyone involved, he'd put the table on for free. I got them to get the stereo pumping, and we had an absolute blast.

The young gentleman behind the bar had been calling me darlin' all night, just being a funny bugger and whilst we were playing he pulled a stool up beside him so that I would sit down. So I did, and we were chatting away. He say's "I'm sure I know you from somewhere darlin'. Where'd you go to school?" I told him, and it turns out that not only did we go to the same school, he was a year below me, and he used to date my little sister (the one who's overseas at present). He's also engaged to the publicans daughter. So that made me relax a bit, and we were chatting away like old friends about school and people that we knew in common.

The girls and I had an absolute blast, we were playing pool, dancing around, laughing, and my very straightlaced girlfriend said a swearword (shock!) and made some ball jokes, both of which just made my night. The publican shut the pub about midnight, but we all stayed on until 1.30am, when the girls decided that their hubbies had probably done enough babysitting for the night, and they headed for home.

GM had called me several times throughout the night, to see if I would come around to the other pub, where he was hanging out with some of his mates. Because my girlfriends NEVER go out, I decided to stay with them and catch up with him after. I explained that to him, and said I'd catch up with him after. So when I'd finished with the girls, I walked round to the other pub to see if I could find him. He wasn't there, but I was met by a bunch of his mates, and we all walked up to the party at my next door neighbours together, the rest being, as they say, history.

 

So, thats about all I've got for tonight. I'm pretty tired, but I shall endevour to post tomorrow.