All The Small Things

Oct 23, 2005 at 14:22 o\clock

Sassville

by: Sassy1

Mood: Settled and Fearful
Listening to: Rain on the roof

Another beautiful day in Sassville.

It rained on and off all day, filling our lake to almost capacity. I can see the water from my house (if I stand on my front fence!) and to see the sun shining on the water between the showers is truly magnificent. The clouds skimming the tops of the mountains, the poddys damply romping in the paddocks on the hills opposite my house. When I'm old, I hope I can remember days like today, the images that take my breath away.

Feeling much better today than I did yesterday. I have decided...? That doesn't seem like the right word. Perhaps I have become resigned to the fact that there is no answer to these problems. I need to just let it go, and see what eventuates on its own.

Looking out my window today as I did the dishes, all I could think was that it really doesn't matter. Love is really an elusive thing, the more you chase it, the more distant it becomes.

So I hereby resign from the chase.

How long this will last is another matter all together. But for the moment, I feel content with this conclusion.

If only the butterflies would leave my stomach.

I read a book once that spoke not of butterflies, but of frogs. Frogs leaping about in your stomach, marching around on the knot of fear and angst that sits just under your ribs.

That's the feeling that I have.

It's a scary thing to be alone.

Yet alone is what I need to be - at least until the frogs stop marching, and I am content in myself, by myself.

Meanwhile, I shall continue to admire and exclaim over the beauty of the people and the landscape around me. I am so lucky to live in a place like Sassville. It truly is a little peice of paradise.

Comments for this entry:

  1. quotejamryn wrote at Oct 23, 2005 at 20:18 o\clock:You have a good way with words. Sassville sounds like a beautiful place to be.With your discription I\'d give almost anything to be seting aside that lake watching the clouds and the sun on the water.
  2. quoteSponky wrote at Oct 24, 2005 at 03:51 o\clock:\"It\'s a scary thing to be alone.\"



    True. Very true. But its also exciting too, don\'t you think? Plus it gives you a chance to actually find out who you are.
  3. quoteSassy1 wrote at Oct 25, 2005 at 13:37 o\clock:Thanks Jamryn, even when it rains here, like it did today, it is magnificent.



    There is nothing more exciting Sponky, yet I\'m beginning to think that the process of self-exploration is a never ending one. Just when I think I know a part of myself, and how I will react in a given situation, I surprise myself. It\'s no wonder that no one else has ever really understood me, when sometimes I don\'t understand myself!



    Still, its all part of the journey, one of the gifts.

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