Questions for the Suitor
Mood: Amused
Listening to: The Apprentice
Discussion with the HbK last night regarding Guy #2. No need to be jealous HbK, you know I love you! So clench those teeth and get through this one!
Realistically, I haven't spoken to guy#2 since Gypsy's party. Which was almost two months ago now. So that in itself would make the whole situation weird. How does one have a conversation with someone who knows nearly everything about you, but with whom you have hardly spoken? I know so much about him, yet I don't know HIM at all. I mean, we've seen each other around, said hi, waved from our cars and stuff, but not a "proper" conversation.
If, one day, guy #2 were to ask me out, what would I say? I'd like to say yes. Lets face it, the guy has an awful lot going for him, least of which is his complete and utter hotness. He's also just a lovely person from all accounts, and certainly that has been my experience of him. I really would like to know him better, should the opportunity come my way. (Despite previous entry to the contrary!)
But then there is the drug thing. I've heard from other folks that heuses pot. And I'm not up for that as you know.
This is what I was discussing with the HbK.
If one day (and this is a purely hypothetical situation, with no chance of it ever actually eventuating, so merely from an old girl guides "be prepared" kind of viewpoint) this guy asked me out, what would I say?
This is the HbK's suggestion - and HbK, I apologise for paraphrasing you poorly, I'm sure it sounded much more classy coming from you!
"Thanks, I'd really love to, but actually, before I say yes, there is something that I should tell you. I'm not interested in getting involved with anyone who uses drugs. Is that ok with you?"
Much more genteel than my own particular bent, which would have been more along the lines of:
"Wow, thanks, I'm flattered. But I have a couple of questions to ask you before I can say yes, ok? Just some standard screening questions you understand..." (Approved answers are in italics for your own future knowledge!)
(For the record, I've been working on these for a while, not just for the benefit of this one guy! God help anyone who wants to ask me out!!!)
"1. Are you male, and single"
Yes and yes. (This may seem obvious - but you can never be too careful!)
"2. I have a daughter, are you aware of this?"
Yes, I've seen her, she's beautiful, and you are a wonderful mum. It is one of the many things that drew me to you... That and your beauty, wit and charm. But please, continue!
"3. Do you swallow, smoke or inject any substance that is illegal?"
No, never. Drugs are for sick people, and should be treated with respect.
"4. Do you abuse prescription medications?"
No, in fact, I am in PERFECT health. I can go ALLLL night - try me!.
"5. Holden or Ford?"
Holden of course!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS, AND WELCOME TO THE FIRST SAFE LEVEL!
"6. Can you cook?"
Yes, my specialty is Eye Fillet Steak with Bearnaise Sauce and perfectly steamed vegetables... Why are you tearing my clothes off???
"Ahem, sorry about that... Right, 7. When was the last time you changed your bed sheets?"
Any time in the last week is acceptable. One wouldn't want to date a man with poor sheet changing habits.
"8. When was the last time you saw your mother?"
Right answer: We have a great relationship, I dropped by her place last week to catch up with the family for Aunt ###'s birthday.
Wrong answer: This morning as she was making my breakfast / making my bed / laying out my work clothes...
"9. What was the last thing you read?"
Right answer: Anything with words in it. Spectrum from bad - magazines to good - books.
Wrong answer: Penthouse, Playboy, or the latest Ford catalogue.
"10. Why are you asking me out?"
Right answer: Because I really like you.
Wrong answer: Because someone told me to / Because I want to get laid / I'm after you for your money (this last one would demonstrate that the man was an idiot!)
A pass rate of 5/5 for the first 5 questions, and 2/5 for the last 5 questions is required for an answer in the affirmative from Sass to the potential suitor. This is a timed exam, and no books are to be taken into the examination room. You may begin... NOW.
On second thoughts, HbK's does sound rather less threatening! LOL.
haha! In all seriousness, I think you are reading too much into the whole thing. The whole \'will you go out with me?\' I thought was reserved for high school students. How about \'want to come for dinner with me?\'? If you decide to get to know this guy better, you don\'t need to lock into a fixed term with him, you could simply date him casually. He may well do drugs, but at the same time, he might just choose to give it up for you when he gets to know you better. On the other hand, if you say straight off the bat that you don\'t want to be involved with someone who does drugs, he might be scared off, and you may never know what could have developed.
One word of warning: isn\'t this the guy who completely ignored you at one point? I say give him a miss. Personally I don\'t think you need the kind of person who thinks ignoring you will impress you. Anyone with with even the remote similar motto of \'treat \'em mean, keep \'em keen\' should be avoided.
Good luck!
And I\'m not interested in going out with anyone who does drugs Tink - been there, done that. Its too heartbreaking to have a person choose an illegal substance over you. I know you haven\'t experienced that - but trust me - it bites.
But wait... there\'s more...