All The Small Things

It would appear that my computer has been taken by the Germans.

 

Thats right. I feel more violated than Poland.

 

So I'm attempting to do this by braille, and if it doesn't work, well, bugger it. It obviously wasn't supposed to see the light of day.

 

Onwards to the NEWS OF THE DAY!!

So my last entry bemoaned my unceramonious dumping by that cad of a man, Gorgeous Boy.

 It bothered me all week, like an itch I couldn't scratch.

    I like him

        Why doesn't he like me

              He said he liked me

                    Why has he changed his mind

    What a rude bugger for changing his mind and not telling me why.

 

And so on.

Meanwhile, I'm talking to my dear friend at the Bakery, and he's telling me that he's giving the lad a hard time about it, because he's mad not to want me.

And his mum is telling me that she's giving him a hard time, because he's mad not to want me.

 

And so I'm feeling like he must be thinking "Who is this mad woman who is setting these people on me to nag me to go out with her?? She's deranged... THATS why I don't want her."

When we all know that I may not be completely following the co-ordinates of life, but I'm not completely off the map.

 

So last night I decided that I'd had enough. A quick drive for reconnaisance discovered that he was indeed at home.

So I dash home, and call him up. He sounds pleased to hear from me, I ask if I can come see him to talk, and he quickly agrees.

Back in the car, and I drove like Brocky to get to his place, which, for the record is 22.5km from my house up some of the most windy dodgy backroads you have ever imagined. Top speed on my bald tyres was 87k/ph, which considering was pretty dashed fast. And it inspired me to buy new tyres today. But thats another story.

 

So anyway, I get out to his place, and he's eating his dinner. I plonk (in a ladylike fashion, as I was still in my work gear, and looking the goods) down on the other couch and we chatter away for a while.

He apologised for forgetting me, and explained that he's forgetting a lot of things lately.

I accepted, and apologised for the grief he was getting from other folks for forgetting.

"Thats one good thing about it," he say's "I get to forget that too!"

So we chat on for a couple of hours, his brother (who has just moved in with him) comes in, eats his dinner, leaves to go shooting. We talk some more.

Eventually, its getting quite late and I think I have to say something.

"So, what is this GM?"

"Oh, I don't know."

"Well, thats not very helpful! We're mates right?"

"Oh yeah, of course"

"Right. Good. And do you wish to be more than mates?"

"Well, um, its a bit hard. Everythings just a bit hard at the moment. I'm all up in the air, and I don't know what I'm doing."

"Its not that hard. You either like me or you don't. I won't be offended if you don't, I just need to know."

"Nah, I like you heaps"

"Good! I like you too. I like you a lot. So what do you want to do about that?"

 

It continued in this vein for a while, I won't bore you with the details, but in the end, this is what it came down to.

He didn't think that I'd want to go out with him because of the problems he's having as a result of the accident.

He didn't even say that straight up though, he was talking about how he's not doing as well as he'd hoped he'd be doing, and he was worried about it, and I said, well you know I really don't care about that stuff. Your legs could drop off for all I care, I like YOU. Just the way you are.

"Really?" He says.

"Really." I say. 

"Well thats what I was worried about."

"So what does that mean?"

"I'd love to see you. I'd love to spend time with you. I'd love for you to be my girl."

 

WOO HOO.

 

So, by this stage it was really late (quarter to one for those playing at home) and he asked if I'd like to stay the night. So I did.

 

It was awesome. I smiled all day (Literally. I had trouble talking I was smiling so hard!) and I am so very very very happy right now.  He held me all night (among other things!) and I can honestly say its been a long time since I felt so very safe and secure and warm and wanted in someones arms.

I'm so very glad I'm a pushy wench who goes chasing after people for answers. ;-)