Going Going Gone!
Mood: Fragile
Listening to: Nigerian music on the TV
Got the news today - Bloke will be gone on the 12th of September.
Mixed feelings really.
He's not really one of those clingy types, which is good, because I don't feel overly smothered by him.
However the very thought of having a boyfriend - a steady one - makes me feel rather smothered anyway.
I do want to be single!!
So its great to know that he will be going in the near future.
God that sounds harsh doesn't it! But if you can't be brutally honest on your blog, where can you be brutally honest?
In life. Thats where I am! He knows I'm happy to see him go - partly for my own sake (see above) however, it is also for his own sake. He needs to get away and do something that he loves. It'll make him happy, and I think that it will really be a big boost for him.
I hope he finds happiness.
But at the same time, I will miss him. He's just a nice person. A genuine person. He's solid and practical and unflappable. He's been a bit of an enigma actually. He's my friend.
And he's a challenge to me as a person.
He's quite remote emotionally. He's very controlled, and yet you can tell that he would love without reservation. But he doesn't love me, nor I him, and that situation is not going to eventuate ever, because we are so very incompatible.
I sometimes feel quite indignant that he hasn't fallen in love with me. I feel this odd anger, and I want to stamp my foot like a spoilt child. "Wh-yyy don't you love me?? I'm lovable! I am!!"
"Love me!! Love me Dammit!!"
But at the same time, I'm so glad that he isn't like that. I would freak out, run, scream, hide and cry if a man said that he loved me right now. Perhaps its just the way I'm feeling tonight. Very fragile. I don't know.
Sigh.
Blog.
Sigh.
Sass.
