Footy Grand Final
GM is away at the moment on his annual Footy Trip.
My plan had been to go to the Deniliquin Ute Muster, with a friend, and tick that off my list. That fell through, so I found myself at home alone on Friday night, after I dropped my beautiful Nicky off to Mr. D.
And at a bit of a loss really. My beautiful girl away, my wonderful man away. And feeling rather ill about the whole court thing (see below).
So at 11.30pm, after quite some time feeling sorry for oneself and doing some jobs that needed doing round the place, I ran myself a long hot bath, took a packet of chips and some dip, a bottle of Coke, and a truly excellent collection of short stories with me. I soaked, and soaked, and soaked some more. At 3.30am I decided I probably should get out and go to bed. So I did.
Saturday dawned early. I assume. I slept in till lunchtime, and then got up to watch the footy grand final. But it wasn't going to start until 2pm, so I figured I should do something else first. So I mowed the lawns. I looked so glam, and I smelt like a navvy. I hadn't done my hair, and I was sunburnt with a lovely greasy patina of sunscreen on my nose and cheeks. Awww, sexy as.
Late in the afternoon, about mid final, a girlfriend rocked up with her little boy, and we spent the afternoon sooking because my beloved Swannies lost (despite a very nice goal by that sexy Adam Schnieder late in the final quarter). We pottered about, got some dinner. Pizza from the pizza place here in town. I went in to get the pizza, and who was in there but GM's cousin and his girlfriend. I wished that I could sink into the ground, because I looked and smelt so very delightful, and I'd also had a drink or two and was a bit... weavy.
My girlfriend headed for home about 9pm, and I hit the showers. I got all tarted up (or at least looking presentable) and headed for the pub. All the lads were down there, many of whom I would have thought would have been on the footy trip, but weren't.
Also in attendance was The Tease's girlfriend, and we had a long and rather baffling conversation. She says "I want to talk to you" and I'm thinking Oh-Oh. She's going to get up me for The Tease behaving the way that he does around me. But no, she just wanted to tell me how fantastic it is that GM and I are together despite what people were saying about us at the start (??? I didn't ask. It seemed safest not to somehow!). She thinks its great and we should ring them (Them being GM and The Tease) and leave a message on their answering machine. So we did. A rather long, rambling, drunken incoherant message. I'm still not sure exactly what we said, but I know I'm going to have to apologise for it when GM gets home!
Then she said "I want to tell you something" and I was like, Ok. So we sat at the bar, freshened up our drinks, and she gave me the full story on her relationship with The Tease. I'm not going to repeat it, because it isn't my place or your business, but I can sort of understand his behaviour now. She's a really lovely girl, and she's been through a lot. We actually have quite a lot in common, and I can understand why she doesn't smile very often.
I asked her why she puts up with him behaving the way that he does. She explained to me. I get it.
I also realised what it is that I need to say to him to stop him from behaving the way that he does around me. And for that I am going to be eternally grateful.
The night ended early, about 1am. So I headed for home, walking most of the way safe in the company of The Tease's girlfriend, so that no-one could start any rumours. I hate that it is necessary to take such precautions. And usually I wouldn't bother. But I'm GM's girl now, so I feel it prudent to be a little more careful of my reputation. Why go looking for trouble?
Bizarre that he is on the annual Footy Trip, and yet, I am not even remotely worried about what he might be getting up to. I was discussing this with my girlfriend earlier in the evening.
My relationship with my ex-fiance was one based (for me) on fear. Fear that I would lose him, or that he would leave me, or cheat on me, or decide that I wasn't good enough.
My relationship with Mr. D. was one of passionate love. I would die without him, I needed to be with him every minute that I could. I needed him.
My relationship with GM is really quite different to that. I feel completely safe, at ease and cared for. I feel like its a love that is supportive of us both as we are - not as one fused entity, but as two seperate and individual people. It feels right.
And I'm not afraid of losing him, or of him doing something to harm me. I trust him.
I'm off now. I need to head to town and get myself something very delicious for lunch and a large Starbucks Coffee. GM should be home tonight, but I'm spending the evening with my lovely little princess girl, Nicky.
