All The Small Things

Sep 11, 2008 at 09:54 o\clock

Direct from the Tabloids to You!

by: Sassy1

So I have a few comments to make about this stripper anally raping / sexually assaulting the best man at the bucks night...

1) If you have any of the following: Cocaine / Speedballs / Rancid Strippers / Sex at your bucks night, chances are you aren't mature enough, or indeed committed enough to get married.

2) If you have groomsmen who organise on your behalf any of the above, then you clearly have not done a thorough enough job of weeding out the dickheads from your wedding invites list.

3) A person who is prepared to nude up in front of a room full of his/her peers and simulate a sex act with a person wearing a strap on penis is probably not a great candidate for best friend. Unless of course you want a best friend who will occasionally come with benefits. And stripper syphillus.

 

That being said, one can't help but sympathise with the alleged victim in this alleged case.

I mean, now the whole world knows what a freak he is. Do I think that he deserved an unexpected jab in the date? No. Should he have forseen the possibility of the skanky drunken naked lady with the large strap on rubber penis jabbing him in the date when he kneeled in front of her naked and lubricated??? YES.

Yes, yes he should. I mean, what else was she going to do with it? Use it as a whisk to make a souffle? I don't think so. Perhaps they were oiled up for some other, unknown reason. Perhaps it was totally innocent!

Perhaps he was oiling her up so that she could make her attempt to be the first naked stripper to swim the Tasman Strait with three legs, and she dropped her contact and they both bent down to pick it up at the same time and whoopsy! Poke city.

Whatever the reason, and in all seriousness now, we don't know exactly what happened, there is only one thing for certain:

That stripper was one chunky lady, and I bet it hurt more when she jobbed him than it did when she nobbed him...   Happy

Comments for this entry:

  1. quoteMrsMacca wrote at Sep 12, 2008 at 00:19 o\clock:1. its great to have the old Sass back, this is a much more interesting topic

    2. maybe his secret is out & he didn't want his friends to know

    3. maybe he'll think twice about asking for CERTAIN favours from his future wife

    4. if she wanted to marry him, she obviously didn't listen to her friends that he was a dick

    5. ask CK how long they stayed at the strippers on his bucks...long enough for his mate to pass out from the cigar & get kicked out (15mins) ha ha, karma!

    6. dont be so hard on him, there are emergency rooms full of people who "fell over" with things that require surgery to remove.
  2. quoteSassy1 wrote at Sep 12, 2008 at 08:39 o\clock:I'm glad to be back too Mrs. Macca - though when you look at it, this could have been posted at the other place... I guess I'm just old and set in my ways and comfortable here... LOL

    I don't think I could handle it if my intended had a stripper at their bucks night. Clearly you are a stronger woman than I!! (as if we didn't already know that!)

    LOL at working in emergency removing sex toys from rectums... "Is this why I studied for four years???"
  3. quoteck_boy wrote at Sep 12, 2008 at 11:36 o\clock:I don't know why he's complaining, you know it only hurts the first time...lol

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