Bitchin' & Bawlin'
All I seem to do lately is cry and grumble! But I do need to let this stuff out, let it go, and try to get on with my life...
My sister. The one who doesn't speak to me, except the last time we went out, when she was just super gushing nice. Remember?
Anyway, it was her birthday yesterday, and my beautiful grandparents held a birthday party for her. In order to "relieve a bit of the tension". My grandparents (Nan & Pop) hold the best parties - the table is all beautifully set with the good crystal glassware and the best dinner set. Snowy white linen, heavy silver cutlery, the whole bit. Then we get KFC, and piglet out.
My family are so very awesome sometimes.
Over dinner, things were going really well. My sister was talking to me, laughing, telling jokes, we were all getting along really well. Then I ducked out to do the dishes, my mum and my sister were in the kitchen. I said to my sister, nicely, not sarcastically or anything "Does this mean that we are talking now?"
"No this doesn't fucking mean that we are talking. I've told you where we stand on this. I hate you, no, I don't even care enough about you to hate you. I have no opinion about you. I don't want anything to do with you. I'm just playing happy fucking families to keep everyone happy, so don't fucking talk to me."
Whoa.
Miss Tink will be proud of me (I think? I wonder...) for standing up for myself to the extent that I said to her...
"Quit playing games then. If you don't like me, fine, if you like me, fine. But don't pretend to be nice to me. Either treat me like crap all the time, or be nice to me all the time, vacillating between the two is just wrong."
Unfortunately just as my sister was launching into another diatribe, my Nan walked in. Then it was on for young and old. Literally. Nan and Pop were giving my sister a lecture on how family is the most important thing that you can have, she was ranting about how everyone hates her for being mean to me, and me... well I was sitting at the table crying. What a tough guy.
Should have kept my mouth shut - this is the advice that my family are giving me. Shouldn't have asked the question, should have just been grateful that she was being nice to me, enjoyed it while it lasted, and left it at that.
Is there something wrong with me that I would rather know where I stand with her, and have her treat me accordingly? I'd actually much rather she were mean to me consistantly than pretend to be nice to me. What does it mean for my own personal integrity to become a compliant member of the conspiricy?
Freaking families. Roll on Christmas...
So, treat your sister next time you see her civil, polite, but distant. Treat her like a business client that you have to deal with, but dont want to be friendly with. Dont rise to her bait. That will annoy her more than anything, and it allows you to deal with her in an emotionless way.
I think so too Sponky - The only good thing that came from the whole explosion is that I really know where I stand now, even if where I stand is not in itself a good thing. And at least I\'m not thinking that I aught to have said something. I don\'t regret asking the question, and in a perverse sort of way, I\'d rather know that she hates me than be thinking that she likes me when she really actually hates me. Does that make sense? I am trying to stay emotionally detached about the whole thing, but it isn\'t easy when someone you love hates you with such intensity.