All The Small Things

This random recounting of events starts late on Friday evening... this weeks regularly scheduled physical activity was cancelled due to the rain and it allowed me the opportunity to hit the pub slightly earlier than usual. There were several things of note that happened throughout the evening, however, as I am a rambly tired lazy bugger, I shall just pour forth with the story and you may attempt to keep up if you like, otherwise, feel free to navigate away without news of my world.

I was bailed up in the toilets at the pub by a lady that I don't really know all that well... she asked me some rather personal questions, am I really single, how many kids do I have, how often do I have Nicky, do I live in town and so on, before mentioning that she was here with her husband and a man that we shall call BatherBoy. (This term was coined by my lovely friend, after hearing that the Mums were deeply enamoured of this man due to his rather attractive figure... best displayed at the pool... which explains the sudden increase of playdates in that locale.)

Some background here is probably in order. BatherBoy is really a man - older than me but not sure how much. He has two kids and is divorced. His youngest is in Nicky's year at school, and he is by all accounts quite a nice person. He must be, as ever since GM and I split up, the Mums have been desperately seeking a way to set us up. The Mums are my girlfriends here in town, most of whom have kids in Nicky's year too. They all think that BatherBoy is just the most delicious thing that God ever put breath into, and have been telling me all about him and how we should get together.

So when this lady was telling me that she was here with him, I began to think that this was not just a polite conversation with a random stranger, but something more sinister. Then she says "So do you know BatherBoy?" I said I know him, but he doesn't know me. "He wants to know you though" she says. Honestly, people in this town are subtle like housebricks.

So I laughed and said that I thought we'd probably run into each other at the school eventually, bid her goodnight, and headed back to the bar. I was sitting out the back chatting to a friend about an hour later when the random lady and her party left, BatherBoy walking past without saying anything, talking to his mate (random ladies husband) and she said goodbye to me and gave me a hug. Ok. Random. Hugs are nice though.

Some time later the husband walks up to me in the bar, and says "hello Sass, this is BatherBoy" Now just to be very clear - I have NEVER MET husband before. I don't even know his name. So I say hello to BatherBoy, and he and husband settle in for a chat. It is later revealed that random lady is now at BatherBoys house looking after his kids so that he could come back to the pub with husband, apparently for the sole purpose of making my aquaintance. Thats not at all awkward or weird... right?? LOL (PS: I'm so popular and stuff LOL)

The lady behind the bar (who is one of the Mums) comes over and chats with us, facilitating conversation between myself and BatherBoy. We ended up playing pool for most of the night, until he left just before stumps. As he was leaving he asked if he could give me a call sometime. I said Ok, and gave him my number. This is part of my inability to say no / never say no policy. Note to self: MUST update that policy.

Later in the early hours of the morning, I recieved a text message from BatherBoy, asking if I would like to have lunch on a specific day, and ended BatherBoy X

Now that is not the sort of text that one should reply to after two am, when one has spent a significant amount of time at the bar being attended to by a friend who is also barstaff / bouncer and who continiually replaces empty bottles with full ones at no charge and without being asked. This does tend to result in one drinking more than one would if one was paying for said bottles. Anyway, I left it until the morning to reply, and we shall come back to my Bartending Bouncing Friend in a moment, otherwise this is just going to get confusing and even less coherent than it currently is.

So. The next morning I sent a text back, saying that I was sorry, I had plans for the day that he had suggested, could I take a raincheck. I thought that was non-committal without being too keen / insultingly disinterested. But he rang me then, and spoke to me. And what he said has left me feeling rather silly and slightly confused.

Basically he was very apologetic for sending the text message, and the impression that I was left with after the call was that he didn't mean to ask me out at all, and he was very embarrassed about the whole texting while under the weather thing.

PS: Don't think I've ever had anyone openly admit to accidentally asking me out and then regretting it when they sobered up. That doesn't make a person feel particularly spectacular. Mmmm.

Anyway, that was fine, and we got off the phone. Today I spoke to the lady bartender, who said that she'd been speaking to him, and had gotten the impression from him that he was really excited about potentially having lunch on the day that he had specified, and that he was disappointed that I was not free. Well, I said to her, thats not the impression that I got from him. So maybe one of us has our wires crossed, but I daresay it will all work out in the end.

Which leads me to say that I'm really really not interested in dating anyone at all. Even if it turns out that BatherBoy is interested, and somehow I just got the wrong end of the stick there, I'm still not interested in dating BatherBoy. Or even in having a coffee and discussing the weather. Or anything.

I'll play pool with a guy, because that allows me to smack the buggery out of a little white ball, feel good about pulling off random excellent shots, and forget that my heart is more mangled than Michael Jacksons face. You need a partner to play pool, and there are more boys here than girls. Stands to reason that I'm going to end up playing pool with a few blokes. Pool does not mean that I wish to imbibe caffenated beverages with you and make awkward conversation.

BatherBoy was very nice, but I'm too in love with silly GM to do anything with anyone. Who's to know - maybe if I wasn't so emotionally crippled right now I'd realise that the Mums were right, and the guy is Prince Bloody Charming. But all I can see is someone who ISN'T the man who makes my heart go BOOM BOOM BOOM when it should be going pitter patter. *Sigh*

 

To add to my confusion about the whole "desperately hoping GM is going to come charging back into my life on a wagon with AA written on the side and tell me that I AM worth more than beer" thing...

I was talking to my friend the Bartender / Bouncer - who to save my poor busted fingers, we shall call Tank. So I was chatting away to Tank, and he was telling me that GM had tried to come into the pub last weekend, and that they had had some words about that, out the front of the pub.

Apparently, GM headed away from the pub, but not before telling Tank: "You stay away from my girl"

GM knows that when I walk into that pub, that Tank gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, that he keeps my bevvies up, and that we play pool, the jukebox, and that he lets me stay till stumps. We also pull stupid faces at each other, have a dance, and muck about. We're friends. Thats what friends do. GM didn't like it much, which I guess is fair enough - it probably doesn't look all that innocent when he's standing out on the pavement and I'm inside having a good time.

Anyway - I know that I'm sad and pathetic, but this gives me a little feeling of YAY! He misses me!!!

Feel free to criticise that. Most of my friends here have.

One of my girlfriends was asking me: "Why would you even WANT to go back there? He treated you like shit, then chose beer over you. What do you want?"

"I want to talk to him. I guess I want to ask him if he's as miserable as I am, if he misses me, if he loves me."

"Why would you want to give him the chance to kick you in the guts again! What if he says no? Then you just feel even more shit. And if he says yes, well he's still the same person that got pissed and pushed you around. You don't need that shit. What is wrong with you? You're a Freak!"

This girlfriend is one of my favourites here in Sassville, because she is deliciously blunt. There is no bullshit with this lady. She tells it as she sees it, but she delivers it in such a beautiful way that you know that its coming from her heart and she means well.

And she's right. I am a freak. I love a guy who clearly is not good for me. But I LOVE HIM. If anyone out there knows how to turn that feeling off, please let me know how.

 

Last night I did something very nice though, and I went with Mary to a bush-bogan themed pub near to my parents house. Its an old converted shearing shed, and its very very country. So I country boganed up, in the words of Mary: "You have such a McLeods Daughters thing going on tonight" and it was pretty good really. My lovely friend Becks came too, and he was most appreciative of the country look - which is nice as he has very good taste and also is very honest. If it didn't work, he would have let me know.

So we met up at the pub with my mum and dad, my sister and her girlfriend, and Becks. There were a couple of guys that I went to school with, and a heap of people that we didn't know. There was a live band, and it was the most awesome of nights. We danced and played pool and I laughed so much that my tummy hurts today. Dad danced with me and spun me round and round, the publican came out to where we were sitting, put his arm around me and asked if I'd had a good night, before he gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye (he was hot so this was v. nice). All in all a very pleasant night.

My whole family also embarrassed the hell out of poor Mary - she had her eye on a young fella, but wouldn't talk to him. So one by one, our entire party did... it was hilarious. Poor guy... all he did was show up!

I think we will be heading to that little country pub more often. It was a fantastic night out, and I really loved spending that time with my family.

 

I went home and slept at mum and dads, and I had the most delicious dream that I must record, in case it turns out to be some sort of most excellent premonition:

I was with a man. We'd only just met, but I don't know HOW we met. It didn't seem important at the time to think about it. Anyway, he was tall. He had lovely skin and a delicious smile, and his hair was sandy blonde / light brown. It was all messy and surfer-dude-esque, but he wasn't a surfer. He was quite well built, and had a slight tan. He leaned towards me a kissed me, and I had this feeling stronger than anything I've ever felt, that everything was as it should be. The whole world tilted on its axis.

His name, and I don't remember him saying it in the dream, but I remember saying it to him... was Ewan.

Which is a very odd thing, as I don't know anyone by that name at all. The only Ewan I've ever even heard of is Ewan McGregor - and the man of my dream did not look anything like him.

I woke up with a certainty that I was going to meet this man, and we would be together.

 

Which is silly. But it did make me feel wonderful, that feeling. And you know, even now, writing about it, I feel wonderful.

So now I'm going to go to sleep, and hope that I have another dream of Ewan. (Or GM) (But preferably Ewan, as there is no drama there, or worry about beer, or hard stuff.) (Plus Ewan was HOT.) He he he. Goodnight y'all.