All The Small Things

I just finished reading "How to Kill your Husband (and other handy household hints) and I have to say that it was utterly dreadful.

Maybe its just the state of mind I'm in at the moment, but the idea that all men are lying cheating assholes, and that marriage is basically a death sentance for your sex life, romance and intimacy is abhorrent to me.

I know that married couples must get used to each other... but I wonder if there isn't something implicit in becoming married to someone that means that you are going to make an effort NOT to slide into that sort of numbness.

Wedding Vows along the lines of:

I promise to never take you for granted, or ignore you, or let you do all of the housework all of the time...

I promise that I will make the effort to keep our sex life fulfilling and interesting for both of us...

I promise to clean up half the vomit, poo and wee from our pets and children, and all of yours when you are ill...

I promise to not put my penis into other people / allow others to put their penis in me...

I promise to continue noticing you, engaging with you in interesting conversation, and romancing you till the end of our days...

I promise that if I have an issue I will talk to you about it... not put my penis in the babysitter about it.

 

I am shit scared of committment. I have to be quite clear about that. I have spent the last few days in a crappy mood and unable to shake a feeling of dread having realised that I am now in a "Serious Relationship" for the first time since Nicky's Dad left. This is my longest relationship. One year. (After discussion with Ellvis, we are counting the period where I had broken up with him and we were still seeing each other as relationship time... its fair I think.)

And Ellvis says that he isn't going anywhere. With my funny twitchiness over the last few days, he's started calling my his little fruitcake, but he continues to reassure me that he loves me and he isn't going anywhere.

I'm packing bricks at the thought of us hitting the two year mark, which, lets be honest, is a pretty early milestone. Matrimony is way way way off in the incredibly distant future if ever for us.

But should I ever be persuaded to head to the altar and undertake to give my life over to another, I would be giving a committment of the above proportions.

Why is it that authors think that it is ok to write such awful books about marriage?

No wonder there is so little faith left in the institution.

Now I'm not rushing off to get married. I have a fairly strongly held belief that noone will ever want to marry my inherently flawed and committment phobic self. However, deep inside, I want to be married one day, to a husband who loves and respects me and would make those vows and keep them.

Despite this book, I choose to believe that there are men out there who are capable of doing so.