All The Small Things

Just as soon as I can figure out how to make my new computer cut and paste into this space my friends...]]

 Ah, Blog. How I havemissed you!!! So many thoughts unshared - so much angst just... cried out atnight rather than spilled poetically or swearfully across the internet for thevoyeuristic pleasure of a very very few...

But here I am. Back.It cost me though. I write from my new and improved and own (not supplied by agenerous employer...) sexy little laptop. Anyone who's in the market - AppleMacBook Pro. I'm pretty sure that it can remember my birthday, and order meflowers, it can completely connect with my favourite restaurant and makereservations, and I know if it had just one more plug in attachment Jay wouldbe getting a run for his money!!!!

So the reason for theradio silence was a sudden and complete move and change of circumstance. I gota great new job, moved from Sassville, and took up residence in a lovely bighome in nearby Sasstropolis with the delightful Jay.

Its been aninteresting couple of months. Six months actually. How fast did that go!!!

Living with Jay is awonder and delight. He's a joy to be around and with, and he's so veryhousebroken. I can't begin to tell you. I have never seen a man volunteer toclean the toilet - and he does it so beautifully!! He removes the whole seat,every time, and scrubs all the bolts and stuff until they are all shiny shinybright. I would seriously eat off the toilet when Jay is finished with it. (Ihaven't. Lets just get that straight.)

What has been reallydifficult though is the kids.

Nicky is great - sheand Jay get along beautifully, and when its just the three of us things arewonderful. Meals are good - Nicky eats more with Jay around, which is great,and he can really encourage her to eat different things and try things that shemight otherwise refuse to try.

But when Jay'schildren arrive it gets really hard.

At first it wasn't toobad. We tried really hard. I tried REALLY hard. I went out of my way to makesure that their washing was always done and folded and put on their beds forthem, and that I made what they liked for dinner.

When Jay went off workwith an injury, and didn't have as much expendable income, I paid for takeaway,nights out, extra treats.

But they don't likeme. And while that doesn't really bother me (although obviously I'm awesome andthey should like me), they also have a range of behaviours which are incrediblyhard to live with.

I made a reallybeautiful lasagne the other day, and the comment was "It doesn't taste as goodas the bought one." IT TOTALLY TASTED BETTER THAN THE BOUGHT ONE. Grr.

I hit a wall a fewweeks ago. I was going to take Nicky to the circus. She really wanted to go,and so I'd promised that I'd take her. Jay and I had a conversation about it,and basically it boiled down to this:

He couldn't afford totake the boys, but he didn't think that it was fair for me to take Nicky andnot take the boys.

So in the end, I tookeveryone to the circus. I bought everyone a gimmicky toy thing, and got the midrange seats, so that we'd have a good view.

All up, it cost mejust over $150.

And they didn't evensay thankyou.

So I'm not doing thatanymore. I've had enough of paying for things, and going out of my way, andgetting nothing but nasty behaviour back again. If they want to hide my phone,spit on the outside of the shower walls, throw food under the table and hide soiledunderwear in the hamper for me, then I'm not going to keep going out of my wayto be nice.

Its pretty tense.They've made it really clear that they don't want to live here with us, and themore Jay tries to make them spend the time and engage with Nicky and I, themore they rebel and behave badly.

And if I ever thinkthat we have it bad from them, I only have to look at Jay to know that he hasit twenty times worse. The way they treat him is way way way worse thananything that they do to us.

Anyway, I'm sure thatthey will come around eventually, and there is obviously lots of work to bedone on repairing the damage that their mother does in painting Jay to be anevil devil man. Which he isn't. He's a lovely, loving, sweet and thoughtfulman, and he'd do anything for those kids.

All in all though,living with Jay is awesome, and I wouldn't change it for a thing. The only thing that I needed to change of course was that I needed to be able to void my mind into the beautiful, non-judgemental space that is this blog, and now that I can do that my needs are being met in a very special way.

Appart from that, nothing much to report... 

Except for maybe that we're looking at buying a house in Sassville (YAYAYAYAYAY) so we're going to do an inspection today.