All The Small Things

So today has not been a good day really. Its topped off a pretty shitty week really.

I feel really angry.

Mr. D. has been behaving like a giant fuckwit. I know I should be cool about that by now, but for whatever reason I keep expecting better from him.

Last week, he gave Nicky her birthday present on Friday night (her birthday was on Sunday) and then left her at home with his wife while he went to the pub.

Father of the fucking year, or what. She rang me to tell me what she'd got - she was so excited, and she was so disappointed that he wasn't there. I don't understand what kind of moron can possibly do that to their child and not realise the effect its having on her.

Then, to top it off, he refused to let her bring home her present, and he sent her home on Sunday afternoon with my sister - the one who hates my guts. He couldn't even be bothered to drop her off himself - on her bloody birthday of all days.

He asked Nicky to ask me if she could go out this weekend - I got him to ring me and ask me himself. He was just lovely on the telephone, yes, yes he'd bring her home himself, yes, yes, he'd write the agreement about the weekend in the communication book.

So he picked her up himself, but he got his mothers next door neighbour to drop her off. Couldn't be bothered coming to town and she'd offered. Fucking fucking fuckwit.

To add insult to injury, I was prank called late Friday night by one of the numbers that Mr. D. had used to call my mobile telephone a week earlier. I write down when he uses a strange number, and I don't answer his calls, but then I get this call about 11pm, on a night when Nicky was at his place - anything could have happened. I answered it - stupid me. I hung up on the guy in the end.

Today I rang Mr. D. and asked him AGAIN to please not ring me from strange numbers, and to go to whoever he had borrowed the phone from and tell them not to prank me anymore.

His response? "Don't be such a fuckwit. If you're getting pranks you should stop handing your number out to people you don't know."

After I again explained that it was the SAME number that he had called me from a week earlier, he just said that his mates wouldn't do that. Moron.

 

I really feel like just not sending Nicky out there anymore. He could fight me through the Courts and it would take quite some time to get heard. At least until after the Mediation had happened. Hopefully if he shows up to Mediation I'll be able to get him to see what a tool he's being and how much he's hurting Nicky.

If his wife will let him come that is. They made it clear that she wouldn't be welcome in the Mediation - I don't think he knows that yet. Any bet that she'll go with him to the session.

 

Secondary bitch:

I told off a fat kid who didn't belong to me today.

It felt good.

Fat bastard was throwing rocks - and I mean big rocks - at cars in a carpark behind the pub where Ellvis's band was playing.

I told him off for doing it and told him that if he hit my car with a rock I'd be tanning his arse for them, regardless of who he belonged to.

Parents who let their children get fat and allow them to be ignorant little bastards should be thrown off something high onto something pointy.

Word.

 

What else:

Oh, Ellvis just continues to blow my mind.

Tonight we were chatting away, and we were talking about his Ex of all things. She was spouting off about how she loves being single ra ra ra the other night, and I asked if she was still single. He said he didn't know, but that she was wearing an engagement ring last time he saw her. He said he didn't know if it was his or someone elses, but that it could have just been anything cos she wears rings on all of her fingers, always had worn lots of jewelry.

I commented that I wouldn't wear a ring on that finger, and he says "Except when I give one to you, right?"

Fuck me.

This bloke is killing me.

A bit later on I told him that he really really needs to stop talking like that - talking about the bloody future, like its going to happen.

Because if it doesn't happen then I'll be all disappointed and shit, and as it is I'm quite resigned to the fact that that (that of course being someone wanting to bloody marry me and stay with me and commit to me) will never happen for me. He says never say never, and you should have that happen for you - we're going so well, who's to say what'll happen.

I got him to agree (I think) to not talking about the future future like that anymore. It makes me crazy.

I love him, don't get me wrong. I'd love for that all to happen for us.

But there is so much between now and that happening - so much.

If I let myself build air castles about this I leave myself open to having my whole world crash down again - I can't do that. I can't handle that.

Baby steps. Baby steps I can handle. How long did it take to say that I'd date him!!?? There is no reason to rush. Or to talk about the future like that.

 

I do love him. I want to live with him. If he asked I'd say yes. I'd just rather not think about it yet...