All The Small Things

So this week we discovered (yet again) that I am both Sad and rather Pathetic.

Or maybe not.

Whichever way you choose to look at it, that is how I feel about it.

This week a Perfectly Nice Man expressed his desire to see me, and I fully intend to say "No thankyou" in my most polite voice, because there is only one person that I am interested in seeing, and that person is BB.

Naturally, this doesn't change anything - it doesn't make BB suddenly able to date me any more than he could before, it doesn't make that whole situation easier to deal with on a day to day basis.

So I have two options:

I can say "Yes" to the Perfectly Nice Man, and in doing so cheat him of something that should be inherent at the beginning of a new relationship - an unfettered interest in getting to know the other person, and a heart that is free to grow within that relationship.

That isn't fair, and it isn't... nice. It isn't a nice thing to do to someone.

The other alternative is to say "No" to the Perfectly Nice Man, and continue to hang suspended in this feeling for a while longer.

 

While I'm sure that saying Yes to the Perfectly Nice Man would make me feel better about myself in some ways (after all, who doesn't like the feeling of someone liking them) it would be cruel and unkind, and I don't want to do that to him.

I can't help it. I adore BB.

Sorry Perfectly Nice Man, but the answer is no.