All The Small Things

And here are some things that I don't have room to keep on my computer, but don't want to lose. So I'm posting them up here. Enjoy.

"Before exchanging anything of value....know the cost" 

This was a quote from my dear friend Almost, I don't remember what we were talking about, but this was said and I loved it so much that I made him repeat it.

16 Chocolate Cheesecake  Base:

½ cup milk chocolate biscuit crumbs (1)

½ cup dark chocolate biscuit crumbs (2)

50g melted butter

2 tablespoons orange chocolate flecks (3)

Generous pinch of ground cinnamon

 

Hard layer:

50g melted dark chocolate (4)

  Middle:

2 packs cream cheese

1 teaspoon vanilla

400g sweetened condensed milk

3 eggs

 

For main:

200g melted dark chocolate (50-70%) (5)

 

Cookie Dough:

¼ cup butter

¼ cup brown sugar

¼ cup castor sugar

2 tablespoons water

½ cup plain flour

50g melted semi-sweet chocolate (6)

¼ cup chopped milk chocolate (7)

¼ cup chopped dark chocolate (80%) (8)

¼ cup chopped white chocolate (9)

 

White chocolate swirl:

50g melted white chocolate (10)

 

Dark Chocolate swirl:

50g melted dark chocolate (70-80%) (11)

  Topping: 

Glaze:

25g melted dark choc (70-80%) (12)

Splash chocolate liqueur (13)

 

Milk and white chocolate lace:

Melted white chocolate (14)

Melted milk chocolate (15)

 

Dark chocolate curls:

Dark chocolate (60-70%) (16)

    

Method:

 

1. Combine base ingredients, press firmly into pan.

 

1. Pour melted dark chocolate on top and refrigerate until layer is hard.

 

1. Cookie dough: Cream the butter with the two sugars until light and fluffy. Stir in water, flour, melted chocolate, chocolate pieces, and mix until combined. Set aside.

 

1. Main mixture: Beat the cream cheese until soft and smooth at medium speed. Add the condensed milk, vanilla and eggs (one at a time) and beat thoroughly at low speed. Reserve some mixture for the swirls.

 

1. Add chocolate to mixture and continue beating until mixed well.

 

1. Pour a little chocolate cheesecake mixture in the tin. Add cookie dough in small pieces. Add rest of cheesecake mixture.

 

1. Halve leftover cheesecake mixture and make swirls with melted milk and dark chocolate. Pour these into the mixture.

 

1. Bake the cheesecake for 1 hour in a 180 degree preheated oven.

 

1. Turn off oven and rest cheesecake for 1 hour.

 

1. Refrigerate cheesecake for 3-4 hours.

 

1. To make glaze, mix together melted chocolate with chocolate liqueur and brush on.

 

1. Add chocolate curls and chocolate lattice.

 

1. Refrigerate for 30-60 mins.

I am yet to attempt to cook this, and I'm too lazy to have written out the whole thing in my little cookbook, but I don't want to lose the reciepe. It looks as delicious as the man who sent it to me, the one, the only Jobe-a-licious.

 

I've spent most of this week out on the farm, with the lovely GM, as his folks are away. Its been really interesting playing farmers missus - I've cooked dinner for the lads each night, we've eaten together, done the dishes, read the paper (one each, then swap - there are definite advantages to getting two papers delivered daily), discussed the news.

And each night, we've gone to bed in the beautiful guest room, which for the record is done in yellow and blue, which anyone who knows me should know are my favourite colours by far. So thats been beautiful. Probably my favourite bit really.

We had a mega argument one night though. Like the second night that we were there together. It was me, being a complete idiot. I had a really really really long think about it after we argued, and we discussed it at length afterwards and the next day.

I'd been actively shoving him away from me all night, taking offence at the smallest little thing, picking at him mentally, getting worked up inside about all that boring old "I'm not good enough" stuff. Then I pushed and pushed him until we had an argument, and the poor bugger was there saying to me "Why are you doing this? I don't understand what the problem is here. Whats really the matter?"

I think that I was actually trying to get him to break up with me, which obviously (if you've been paying attention) is NOT what I want at all. I want to keep him in my life, to spend my time with him, and to be with him for... well, for a bloody long time at the least.

We came to the conclusion that I'm a big scaredy cat - with good reason really. I've had my heart smashed to smithereens a couple of times now, and I think my poor heart has learned that the greater the joy and the love, the greater the pain that will follow.

My lovely boy has been very patient with me, and I'm grateful for it. He said to me "Darlin', you need to get over this stuff. I love you. I'm not going to hurt you. I just don't want to see you end up one of those old ladies who keeps cats. You deserve better than that."

So we've agreed that I'm not doing it on purpose, it makes me feel like shit, and I don't want to feel like that anymore. For his part, he's over it too, and doesn't want to have any more arguments about it. So our strategy is that if I start having a spasm, he's going to give me a cuddle, and tell me to stop being stupid. (My idea, and hopefully it will help.)

I love him, and I don't want my fear of being hurt to rob me of a wonderful relationship.

 

 

In other news, "silage" is pickled grass. They put fresh grass in a roll and wrap it in plastic. Then it kind of cooks and stews and its pretty good for the moo cows, who love the stuff.

BUT IT STINKS.

GM has been feeding out to the cows, which means that he has to unwrap the silage, and he stinks of it. I really miss the smell of the damp cow poo now - he's well and truly dried out by the time he gets up to the house now, so he doesn't smell like cow poo at all. Just silage. Ew.

Thats my lovely stinky loving man.