All The Small Things

Yesterday I got up at an obscenely early hour to board a bus heading for Melbourne.

I did this in order to join a political rally that had been organised to send a "strong message to our politicians" about our cause.

It was kindof lame actually. I think Mrs. Macca (whom I met in the city) and I probably missed the important bits, but we were there at the time appointed for the March on Parliament House.

And it didn't happen. We didn't march anywhere. Everyone just sort of sat about looking slightly undereducated and not particularly well dressed (and in some cases bathed). It was very very disappointing. I was quite looking forward to marching along Spring Street waving my plaquard and chanting something catchy and derogatory.

Anyway, we got a good days shopping in, if that counts for anything. And it was lovely to catch up with the beautiful Mrs. Macca, and CK who joined us briefly in the City equivalent of Subway, a French Boulangerie, where we were served by a no-shit French chick. The food was lovely, and fuelled us for the rest of the days shopping.

TIP OF THE DAY: If you are going to go looking for a green, tattered-and-patterned-in-a-cool-way, collared, short sleeve polo styled top sized extra large in the city: Wear sensible shoes.

Other useful hints:

• Getting up at 5am is unnatural and should be illegal.
• Attempting to apply makeup at this hour is a very bad idea.
• Rubbing your eyes when you are tired, because you got up at 5am, when you have just applied makeup, is also a very bad idea.
• Looking like you have one black, weepy eye is not a good look.
• Attempting to repair makeup after 4 hour sleep will not result in improvement.
• Wearing uncomfortable heels to a walking rally, and on a shopping trip, is retarded.
• Even if you already intend to purchase new flat shoes on the shopping trip.
• Attempting to read, on a moving bus, on dusk, after a 5am start and a full days pollution will make the capillaries in your eye pop, giving you delightful glowing red eyeballs.
• Unless you are a vampire, this is also not a good look.
• If your collegues sitting around you on the bus rate Sister Act 2, and Suddenly 30 as good films, and have never heard of Danny Deckchair, you may be in the wrong industry.
• When you get home from Melbourne at 10pm, after a 5am start, attempting to gift wrap something soft and oddly shaped is not a good idea.
• Measuring ribbon using your glowing red eyeballs should be avoided at all costs.
• Squirting too much eye makeup remover onto glowing red eyeballs = immense pain.

All in all it was a lovely day out with Mrs. Macca, and my eyes are on the mend, so thats a good thing. I only hope they stop glowing before the party, otherwise I'll have to purchase some ClearEyes, and everyone will think I'm a stoner as I slip off to the bathroom to reapply it every couple of hours. That would be the greatest introduction to the family ever.