All The Small Things

I've been so pathetically slack in posting lately that I have rather a lot to catch up on... so lets get down to it shall we.

Firstly, September in the Sass household is full of birthdays. So here are some of the birthday wishes that I failed to post in a timely manner - something that I'm sure anyone who knows me will be terribly surprised about... hahahaha.

Firstly, Tink.

Its been forever since I spoke to you. I think about you often though. I'm really not sure why we haven't spoken - especially now that you are so close. It seems silly. I guess the longer it goes on the harder it is to call, perhaps for both of us. I do hope that you had a wonderful birthday, and that you enjoyed spending it with your family after so long away. I miss talking to you, laughing with you.

 

Secondly, Meg.

I hope that you heard our collective thoughts of love and happiness in knowing you, and I hope that you heard at rather a lower volume than we were singing it, Mum and I belting out that special song for you in the car. I miss you. I wish you could see Nicky. I hope that you are happy where you are, and that you are enjoying watching our little drama's. And I thankyou too, because I'm sure you must have had a hand in bringing that cow poo splattered wonderful man into my life - I can imagine you having a good old laugh at me playing farmer lady. Look after that poddy OK?

 

Thirdly, Mum.

I asked my Mum what she would like to do for her birthday - go to lunch or something. She wanted to drive to a cemetary 2 hours away and visit the grave of a lady who used to be engaged to her grandfather. Despite thinking that this was a rather odd way of spending ones birthday, I agreed to her request, and off we went.

The story goes that my great-grandfather was in love with this lady, who's name was Ella. She and he were desperately in love. Just before they were due to be married, he left her to marry my great grandmother, who was, at the time, 7 months pregnant.

They were married in a back room of the church, with only their parents as witnesses. No guests.

Ella never married, and my grandfather believes that in the end, she died of a broken heart.

There is some speculation that my great-grandfather married my great-grandmother because she was pregnant, but that the baby wasn't his. In their era, it would have been social death for her to be a single mother, and he was a close friend of her family. It would appear that he sacrificed his love for, and life with, Ella, in order to save my great-grandmother.

Mum said that they never shared a bed, throughout their marriage. They slept in twin beds always, which was rather odd she thought, as her other grandparents shared a double bed, as did everyone else she knew. They did have more children though, so at some stage they must have consumated their marriage.

I thought it was a rather tragic story really, and I felt sorry for everyone involved. Poor Ella, who had her heart broken by the man that she loved, and had to watch as his family grew. Poor great-grandfather, who gave up the woman that he loved in order to conform to societies strictures. Poor great-grandmother, who must have always felt that she had ruined both Ella's life and great-grandfathers, and who must have felt that passion for someone else, someone whom she could see each time she looked at her child.

After we left the cemetary, we went to have dinner at a fantastic restaurant. It was lovely to have Mum all to myself for a change, and to get away from it all. Happiest of Birthdays to you Mum.

 

Fourthly, GM.

GM's birthday is the day after my Mums, and Megs. We spent the evening out at the farm, where we were joined by every man and his dog. There was much drinking, pool playing and pashing on. GM sprited me out the back to the laundry room late in the evening, to "just have some time alone with you, some you and me time."

He kissed me gently, looked into my eyes and told me that he loved me.

It was supposed to be his birthday, but I think that was the best gift of the night, and he gave it to me.

Later in the night we spoke about houses, but I'll tell you about that a bit later on...

 

Fifth in line, Mr. D.

Usually I'd wish Mr. D. a happy birthday and say something nice about him. I don't know. I'm struggling at the moment. Its hard to think happy thoughts for someone who is consistantly cruel to you. But I do wish him the best for the coming year. I hope that he can get past this rubbish that he is stuck in - the stuff about how and why we broke up - and find some joy in his life as it is now.

 

Thats it, I think, for the birthdays. Happiest returns to one and all.

 

 

I cannot begin to tell you how very nervous I was driving out to the family farmhouse on Friday night. Friday night, the night before the party, where I had been invited for tea, and to meet GM's sister (the one who was engaged) and her fiance, and the rest of the clan.

And yet, when I arrived, it was lovely. They are the most lovely people. His sister, Mandy, and her fiance were just delightful, and his parents were beautiful too. We all had dinner together, and it went off a treat. Especially considering that earlier in the day their dog had been run over by GM's dad, and had subsequently died. They were pretty upset about it, as you can imagine.

GM's dad has a wicked sense of humour. In regards to the dog incident, on Sunday round the firebucket, he said:

"Yep. It had a bad case of Dunlop-itis."

"I dunno what Mandy's complainin' about. I paid the vet bills didn't I? What more does she want!"

and "I wasn't pissed, it ran under me wheel."

 

So we stayed out at the family farmhouse on Friday night until about 12.30pm, before heading back to GM's place (which is 3kms down the road, on the same property, nearer to the dairy). Saturday saw us heading to my VERY FIRST Clearing Sale.

Mrs. Macca already knows how excited I was at the prospect of gearing up in my flannelette shirt, my hat with the cattle tags through the brim, some old, cow poo-y jeans, and a stick of straw hanging out of my mouth, kicking things with my blunnies on and yelling "Hey Darl, whaddya reckon bout this?" about random things I'd no idea the name nor purpose of. I thought it was going to be awesome. And it was.

Now before you die of shame because you know me, I did not get myself up like that. But there was enough collective flannel and cow poo to keep me happy, and the auctioneer had a cattle tag through the brim of his hat and he had a belt buckle bigger than his head and that made me very very happy. Also, I arrived with my lovely GM with HIM driving, as he has gotten the all clear from the docs and is now allowed back on the roads. So we were both feeling very satisfied.

We arrived early, (after getting lost - another thing we have in common - no sense of direction!) and got our buyers number. We checked out the spray unit that GM was interested in, and it wasn't the right size, so we had a wander about to see what else they had.

The auction started, and it was hilarious. Auctioneers amuse the hell out of me, particularly when they are completely serious, and they do the whole "all done, all done, all done at $2 - *clap* sold to you sir, whats your buyers number?"

GM had a bid on a new thingy (it was blue) and he won! Yay! I had this funny feeling while he was bidding (with a nod of his head) that he was really much more grown up than me.  I was still trying not to laugh, while he knew what it was he was bidding on, how much that model sold for in stores, and how much use it had seen (from the handle and the clips apparently). And the way he bid was so, I don't know. Manly maybe. It made me feel like I was standing next to a strong, independent man. I liked that feeling very much. He's like a rock. A solid, dependable, unshakable, deliciously country rock.

So we also bid on some bales of fencing stuff (like chicken wire, only for cows not chickens) and we won that too. So we went over and paid for the stuff, then loaded it and tied it down on the tray of the truck. He looked so hot doing that. I have always had a disturbing thing for men in dirty work clothes, and he gets a great big tick for looking incredibly hot in his farmer GM clothes. I said to him, "God you look hot when you're all "Farmer GM"" and he came round the truck and pashed me.

Then he drove us to the Farm Store and we bought a poddy feeder, some drench and I FINALLY got my blunnys and a pair of gumboots.

HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!! (From where I'm standing anyway. If getting pashed against a truck that smells like fresh cow pats by a man in filthy farm clothes isn't you're cup of tea, you may not think so. But trust me. From where I'm standing, it doesn't get any better than this.)

So after that, I got him to drop me off at home, so that I could do some stuff (like ponce about the house admiring myself in my new blunnys), and he had to go help get ready for the party. I said, I'll see you tonight then. He said no worries, see you about 5? Yep, no worries.

So I went to see my family, and it was the nicest afternoon I think we've had in a long long time. Dad washed my car for me while I sewed up my brothers shorts, and my sister and her girlfriend cleaned out their car. Then we just all sort of sat about out the front of the house doing various things, talking and laughing and enjoying the beautiful sunshine. We played with the dog, and we really talked to one another. You know when you suddenly realise that you actually like your family, and that they are all individual people with their own thoughts and feelings and abilities and fears? Its a wonderful thing to know that I have family who are also my friends.

After that, I headed for home, and got changed and tarted up for the party (read - put on some makeup and changed my outfit about 15 times).

GM called me about 5.15pm, to see how far away I was (missing me - how sweet is that!), and not long after that, I got on the road.

I said my hellos to everyone, and to GM who was talking with his boys around the fire bucket. So I headed in to see if I could help in the kitchen, and ended up taking a teatowel and doing dishes for an hour. I met GM's Nanna, who sat on the couch and just watched me. It kindof creeped me at first, but I think she was just checking me out to see if she liked me for GM. It was something I had to get used to throughout the night, as I'd often look up from what I was doing and see someone staring at me. (It could also just be 'cos I'm so hot) (lol) I later heard that she thought I was lovely (she told GM), so at least I passed that one.

The party went off a treat, and every one of the 200 odd guests seemed to have a lovely time. I got slightly messy on wine, and towards the end of the night found myself dancing on the top of the iceboxes behind the bar. Which I figured was probably OK, as I was dancing next to GM's sister, and her maid of honour to be. (When in Rome and all that jazz)

And throughout the night, I lost count of the number of people who came up to me to talk about GM. Typical of these exchanges was the one with Mandy's fiance late in the evening. He came up to me as I was standing by the jukebox and put his arm around me (I didn't quite know what to do at that point) and said "You know what? I've known GM for 5 years, and this is the happiest I've ever seen him. And its all because of you. He's changed so much since you started dating. Its great."

This sort of comment just kept coming throughout the night. And he's obviously been talking A LOT about me to his family and friends, as they know the ins and outs of my life fairly well. No one had to ask where I lived / worked / grew up / met GM, and they all knew Nicky's name and that GM thinks she's wonderful. (Which was rather lovely to hear back too!)

Also during the evening, I was approached by The Tease, and I took him aside. "You know the deal we made last time?"

"Yeah"

"Well, I'd like to cancel it, if we could."

"Why? Don't you think I'm hot enough? Don't you want to sleep with me?"

"It's not about you. Its not about any of that. Its about GM. I love him, I think he's amazing, and it feels wrong to have made a deal like that. I've been feeling really guilty about it."

"Does that mean you wouldn't consider me if you two broke up?"

"I'm not discussing this with you. I'm just saying that I can't have this deal with you."

"Ok. No worries. We'll cancel the deal."

"Thankyou."

Later in the evening, he approached me again.

"You still think I'm hot though, don't you?"

"I'm not discussing this with you."

"Do you like big guys?"

"I'm not discussing this with you!"

"It'd be good though, wouldn't it."

"Oh, give it up! I'm with GM!"

Laughing, we changed the subject and more people joined us. As soon as I was able, I made my apologies and went to stand with GM. By comparison, he's so very trustable and solid, and he's not playing any games. 

I feel like the next time this happens, I need to have a better response than "I'm not discussing this". Something to think about. I wonder how he doesn't feel guilty for talking a) behind his girlfriends back like that, and b) behind his friends back like that, to his friends girlfriend? Men are strange creatures at times. Suggestions welcome.

I hit fadesville about 3.30am, and went to have a kip on the couch inside. No sooner had I closed my eyes than GM's mum and Mandy were standing over me. They tucked a blanket round me, and I think I probably started it by saying (slurrily) "thanks for having me I had a lovely time"

GM's mum say's "You're always welcome love, you've made GM so happy, and we love to see you"

"Yeah," says Mandy "He's a different person"

"I don't want to make him a different person though, I like him the way that he is. Just exactly the way that he is."

"Puke" says Mandy

"I'm sorry, I know it makes you sick, but I think he's wonderful"

"No no no!" in stereo, "It doesn't make us sick! Its great to see you guys together. You both deserve to be happy."

We all said goodnight then, and they went to bed, I went to sleep. GM came and hopped on the couch with me a couple of hours later, and then another fella, who was staying at GMs house, came and woke us both up and I drove us all home.

Sunday the boys got up early to go to the dairy, and I had a sleep in, then we went out to the family farmhouse for a recovery breakfast. Mid afternoon I went into town to pick up Nicky, and I took her back out to the family farmhouse, where we'd been invited to stay for tea.

Mandy was very taken with Nicky, and GM's youngest sister (14) was too. They played all afternoon in the garden, running around, playing chasey, petting the dogs. GM went to the dairy to do the evening milk, and when he came back Nicky spotted his truck coming up the drive. She got Mandy to piggyback her to the gates, and when GM emerged from the truck she jumped over to him and he carried her back down to the fire bucket. I'm so very glad that they get along so well, Nicky and GM.

When it got dark, we headed inside, and Mandy let Nicky help her unwrap their engagement gifts. They were all so very sweet to her, and made both of us feel like part of the family. GM went out to sit with the boys round the firebucket for a while, but he came in later and sat with me on the couch to watch the gifts being opened.

I took Nicky home after dinner, and it just felt like everything had gone so much better than I could have ever hoped.

Later GM said to me that Mandy thought I was fantastic - which was good, "'Cos her's is the only opinion that really would have mattered to me." (Phew!)

So there you have it. Three fantabulous, fun packed days at the farm and surrounds.

 

Yesterday I got up at an obscenely early hour to board a bus heading for Melbourne.

I did this in order to join a political rally that had been organised to send a "strong message to our politicians" about our cause.

It was kindof lame actually. I think Mrs. Macca (whom I met in the city) and I probably missed the important bits, but we were there at the time appointed for the March on Parliament House.

And it didn't happen. We didn't march anywhere. Everyone just sort of sat about looking slightly undereducated and not particularly well dressed (and in some cases bathed). It was very very disappointing. I was quite looking forward to marching along Spring Street waving my plaquard and chanting something catchy and derogatory.

Anyway, we got a good days shopping in, if that counts for anything. And it was lovely to catch up with the beautiful Mrs. Macca, and CK who joined us briefly in the City equivalent of Subway, a French Boulangerie, where we were served by a no-shit French chick. The food was lovely, and fuelled us for the rest of the days shopping.

TIP OF THE DAY: If you are going to go looking for a green, tattered-and-patterned-in-a-cool-way, collared, short sleeve polo styled top sized extra large in the city: Wear sensible shoes.

Other useful hints:

• Getting up at 5am is unnatural and should be illegal.
• Attempting to apply makeup at this hour is a very bad idea.
• Rubbing your eyes when you are tired, because you got up at 5am, when you have just applied makeup, is also a very bad idea.
• Looking like you have one black, weepy eye is not a good look.
• Attempting to repair makeup after 4 hour sleep will not result in improvement.
• Wearing uncomfortable heels to a walking rally, and on a shopping trip, is retarded.
• Even if you already intend to purchase new flat shoes on the shopping trip.
• Attempting to read, on a moving bus, on dusk, after a 5am start and a full days pollution will make the capillaries in your eye pop, giving you delightful glowing red eyeballs.
• Unless you are a vampire, this is also not a good look.
• If your collegues sitting around you on the bus rate Sister Act 2, and Suddenly 30 as good films, and have never heard of Danny Deckchair, you may be in the wrong industry.
• When you get home from Melbourne at 10pm, after a 5am start, attempting to gift wrap something soft and oddly shaped is not a good idea.
• Measuring ribbon using your glowing red eyeballs should be avoided at all costs.
• Squirting too much eye makeup remover onto glowing red eyeballs = immense pain.

All in all it was a lovely day out with Mrs. Macca, and my eyes are on the mend, so thats a good thing. I only hope they stop glowing before the party, otherwise I'll have to purchase some ClearEyes, and everyone will think I'm a stoner as I slip off to the bathroom to reapply it every couple of hours. That would be the greatest introduction to the family ever.

When the sprog is sprung, I wish to sing

"Ding dong the bitch has bred,

(Which old bitch?)

The wicked bitch!

Ding dong the wicked bitch has bred!"

 

This popped into my head as I was pegging out the washing today. I liked it soooo much I sang it as I pegged, even though that is slightly premature. I'm sure that I shall forget this delightful little tune before the sprog is dropped though, so I charge you, dear reader, with reminding me.

Hey everyone.

Just a quick note to let you know that PEST stands for Political, Social, Economic and Technological. PEST Analysis is the new SWOT, dontcha know.

It's also a synonym for "useless waste of my time". Yay, and hooray for learning new acronyms!

 

This educational outburst has been bought to you by stupid tasks set by stupid projects which I have to do for my wonderful and not at all stupid job.

This Thursday just gone - the Seventh of September - was the third anniversary of the loss of our dear friend Meg.

 

In some ways, it seems like only yesterday that we were sitting down, having a chat, getting a glass of wine from the bottle that Meg alway had on hand at the flat.

(Not that she'd be drinking the wine - she'd be sucking back a beer.)

 

It got me to thinking actually, about how we remember Meg, what we do to celebrate her life, and the impact of her presence in our own lives.

I think of Meg often. She'll pop into my head at the oddest moments. I have taken this as a sign that Meg is in heaven, or wherever, watching over Nicky and I, and that she is thinking of us. That thought brings me great comfort, that we are still connected and that she is still an active part of our lives. I often think that the greatest, most unexpected gifts have come about as a result of Meg's influence and good wishes for us.

 

This year, I went to sit with Meg. I took a big cup of coffee - from the Starbucks I imagine we would have frequented together had she been here. I sat in the sunshine with her, looking out on the beautiful gap that can be seen from both her gravesite and the farm where she grew up.

I sat there, and I talked with her, about all manner of silly things. I told her of Nicky, and GM, and work, of my family, and the dog. At one point I got a little serious, and at that precise moment, a mourner who was standing just a little ways behind me, about two rows back, let out the loudest fart I think I've ever heard.

I had to laugh - it was just exactly Meg. It was like a message from her to cheer up.

 

I don't think that she would want for any of us to remember her in sadness. I remember her wishes for her funeral - Mrs. Macca and I decorating the reception room with balloons and descriptions of Meg, and the gerbera's in our hair, and the colourful clothes that everyone wore.

 

Mrs. Macca and I were discussing the other night what we should do to remember Meg. I've been talking to people during the week, and they were asking if we had a tradition.

We don't.

But I think we aught to have.

 

Something that we do each year to celebrate the joy and friendship that Meg brought and continues to bring into our lives. Something joyful and full of laughter.

Today Nicky and I finally made it out to the farm to meet GM. I was nervous as hell driving out, and had had the most major headache all day. But there was nothing to worry about, they got along really well, and Nicky had the most awesome time.

We met the most delicious (hahaha, not in the fake veal sense, but in the cute sense) poddy. He was five days old and just lovely. He sucked on Nickys fingers, and followed her around the paddocks. We had a play there for a while, then GM and Nicky fed the chooks and collected the eggs.

After stowing them safely in an egg carton, we headed out in the Hilux for a trip around the farm. GM was hoping that we'd bump into some roos or bunnies or a deer so that Nicky could see them up close, but the closest we got was spotting some roos up on the ridge, they were a bit far away.

GM was so careful driving in the Hilux, it was a bit cute really. He went super slow so that we wouldn't get all jolted about. He took us through a heap of paddocks and the cows followed us, so that Nicky thought they were chasing us. Then he showed us the cow with one eye, and the blue calf, and the white calf, and he was naming them all for Nicky - who thought it was hilarious.

A fantastic day, and Nicky only had a couple of questions at the end of it. "GM is your special friend, is that why he was holding your hand mum?" "Yes chicken, thats why. Is that OK?" "Yeah. Can we have the eggs for dinner with toast?" (the answer to that one was no, I made fried rice and put some of the eggs in)

In fact it all went so well, that my mind began to wander to random things tonight. That hasn't happened in a while, so to celebrate, here are my random thoughts in no real order. Enjoy!

 

Why is it called a liquidation when you don't actually want to change the excess stock into liquid, you want it to turn into money?

If you had guests coming, and you knew that they were coming, would you leave your dirty clothes and undergarments on the floor of your bathroom so that they would have to walk over them? I couldn't do it. If they're coming there is always the chance that they will need to pee.

Am I the only person who thinks that the Benchies were taking the piss yesterday when they were doing their Tribute Show for Steve Irwin?

If you haven't tried smoked cheese, you haven't lived.

I need to buy some flat shoes so I don't sink in the mud at the engagement party. But if I buy flat shoes, I'll have to buy new pants, because all my pants are the right length for high heels. And then I'll have to buy a new shirt probably. But the party is only a week away, and if I have to buy new clothes then I'll look like I'm trying, and I don't want to look like I'm trying. But I can't wear heels. What is the solution to this? Do I just wear my most wreckable pants and allow them to get all scufffed and squished and muddy on the bottom? Or do I buy new clothes and just wash them every day until the party?

I liked Rove better when he wore a tie and had more hair and less sideburns and was on at a non-swearing timeslot.

I don't think I would make a very good farmwife type person. I don't like getting poo on me, and I think chickens smell funny. And if someone tracked poo in all over my freshly washed floor, I'd kill them.

I think I may have an ear infection.

Australian Television is getting worse. There is no doubt about it. Its like there is an IQ test given to anyone pitching a new show, and if they get a decent score its an instant no.

I do not get male strippers. I don't. I don't think they are sexy, I wouldn't pay to see them. I wish they would keep their shirts/pants/g's on. I can kind of understand men liking female strippers, the female form is quite aesthetically pleasing. But men aren't. OK, a man with nice arms and a nice back and a cute butt, is hot. But when you are talking about a man who has a six pack that you could grate cheese on, if it weren't so slathered with oil, sorry, I don't think thats cute at all. I think that smacks of tool actually.

What ever happened to the sort of mandarin that peeled really easily? Why are the skins so much tighter these days? Its like they put them in the dryer before they hit the shelves and their little jumpers shrank.

What an unusual weekend I've had.

Friday night I went to a Tupperware Party - haven't been to one of those in ages. My my my, how Tupperware has changed. Now its all "Shiny, non-porus, dishwasher and microwave safe and in a range of stylish colours" or very very latex-y and designed to bake in.

There was this amazing woman there (and I use amazing in the sense of "She was amazingly perculiar and should probably be in a glass case on display somewhere") who seriously owned everything out of the catalogue. EVERYTHING. $300 saucepan? Got it. Little slice and dice whizzy thing? Got it. The ENTIRE PANTRY PACK, FREEZER SET AND BBQ SETTING SET? Got it. I don't even know why she came to the damn party really.

She was larger than life. She went on to discuss all of the different things that she had purchased, and the various ways that she had hassled sales staff until they gave her the most incredible discounts on things. After spending time with her at the party, I would completely give her a discount to get her the hell out too.

After the Tupperware Party, I headed out to GM's, where, as usual, there was a party going on. Thankfully this time it was a rather quiet party, because I was knackered. I piked early (one am) and went to bed. GM joined me about 3am, and I think, in all, I got about four hours sleep. I am not complaining AT ALL, but having said that, I am thinking that we're going to have to start going to bed about 8am if I am ever going to get a decent nights sleep in that house. And we're going to have to sleep at my place on a Friday night if we've got an early start on Saturday. But the parties are great fun, and I don't often have early starts on the weekends.

Saturday I timekept at the footy for three games in a row. It was actually quite good fun, a beautiful day for it, and the lads were pretty good to watch.

After the footy, I headed home, did a spot of housework, had dinner, then I headed out to meet up with GM, who was having a commiserative beverage with his footy boys, who had bombed out of the finals earlier in the day. When I arrived there were probably a dozen stayers, all pretty maggotted, two girls and the rest were lads.

One of the girls I knew, and I hadn't seen in ages, so we had a good old chat at the bar. Behind the bar was my lovely GM and another fella, lets call him The Tease. The Tease and I go way back. He's made a habit of flirting outrageously with me since the first time that we met. He walks past me in the pub and blows in my ear, in a way that makes my insides turn to jelly. Poorly, poorly set jelly.

So he was behind the bar with GM. As I walk in, he says to GM, "Who's that?" GM replies "Sass" "You know, she's the best looking chick for miles round here."

"I know," says GM, "She's my missus"

I walk up to the bar at this point, say hello to GM, hello to The Tease, who says, "G'day, I didn't know that you and GM were together. Congratulations, he's a top bloke."

"Thankyou, I know." and we went on to chat about all manner of things.

After all the lads had had their fun making fun of GM, who came round the bar and gave me a cuddle and a kiss, "Oooohhhh, check out GM - smooth on and off the field" and so on, we went and sat around the fire. Some people went home, until all that were left were GM, myself, the girl I knew and her boyfriend, an incredibly drunk footballer and The Tease. The others went outside to watch one of the boys who was leaving do circle work on the golfcourse (is there anything more quintessentially Aussie than circle work on the golfcourse, maggotted, after the game?).

The Tease and I were alone by the fire, me because it was cold out, and circle work doesn't really interest me, and him because he wanted to talk to me it would appear.

"So I guess I won't be blowing in your ear anymore"

"Nah, I've got GM to do it for me now."

"He won't do it like I did though."

"Probably not!" laughing

"You wanted to sleep with me, didn't you?" Serious tones, teasing eyes.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You wanted me, you can't deny it." Cocky as hell.

"I'm not answering that." Laughing.

"Oh, come on, you know it'd be great." Serious.

"Probably would be, but we'll never know now will we. I'm happy with GM, and you have a girlfriend. Besides, I'm an old lady compared to you, you shouldn't even be thinking thoughts like that about me!" Teasing.

"You're one year older, who cares. Yeah. GM's a good bloke. Tell you what we should do? We should make a deal." Serious.

"What kind of deal?"

"We should sleep together. When you're single, and I'm single, lets just do it. We both want to, we know it'd be great, lets do it." Serious

"Are you serious?" Laughing

"Yeah, serious." Serious.

"Righto. If I'm single, and you're single, I'll make that deal." Laughing.

He makes a move to shake my hand, so I put my hand out to shake his, and he suddenly sticks out his pinky finger. "Pinky swear"

Laughed my ass off.

"Righto. Pinky swear."

Then everyone else came back in, and I spent the rest of the night snuggled up with GM.

 

Before you start thinking that I'm a terrible hussy for making this deal, there are two or three things you should realise.

1) I love GM, and I plan on being with him for at least an extended period of time, possibly forever. Therefore this deal will never become activated. (I was thinking this as I asked if he were serious, and that's mainly why I said yes and did the pinky swear)

2) The Tease has a long time girlfriend, whom I believe he loves (though he does have a very odd way of showing it sometimes, and they never go out together) I rather think he'll marry her actually. Again, this will rend the deal null and void.

3) I rather think he was teasing anyways, and didn't mean it. Seriously, who pinky swears? Though if by some odd, bizarro chance he did mean it, and for some unforseen reason GM dropped off the planet, and so did his long time girlfriend, then I guess there would be worse things than sleeping with him. Considering that he is probably one of the hottest guys in town, I could definitely think of worse things.

Do you think that this makes me a horribly bad person? Feedback via the usual channels, don't lets be shy!

 

GM came home with me, and stayed at my place. It was lovely. We got up really really late (please note that I said got up, not woke up?), and went down the street and had breakfast together. Bliss.

The more time I spend with GM, the more I love him. In the car on the way home we had a talk about Nicky, and him meeting her. You may have noticed that I'm a little nervous about this - not in a bad way, just because I really want it to go well.

He says to me "I'd like you to promise me something. Don't stress about me meeting Nicky. I know you're worried, but don't stress about it. I love you, I'm sure that it'll go great. I can't wait to meet her. I've got the most beautiful little poddy that I've brought over for her to meet, have a play with and feed, and she'll have a great time."

I know she will. I'm sure it will go beautifully. I'm sure he'll love her too. (I'm still nervous)

We've set another date for us to go out to the farm - this coming Tuesday afternoon. I am trying not to get too attached to the date, because our track record has been shite, and who knows what might go wrong between now and then to make one or either of us unavailable.

I'm beginning to get nervous about the upcoming engagement party that we're going to (his sister got engaged) because all his family will be there. I guess I kindof thought when he invited me that I'd have met most of the local family members by now, but I haven't. And its only a fortnight away.

A million questions: What should one wear? How does one greet family members of the man one loves if one has never met them before? Particularly fathers? And what kind of footwear is appropriate for such an event? God. This stuff is so HARD. I feel completely out of my depth, and I really want them to like me.

I feel about 12 right now. I think thats my cue to shut up, don't you?

Last night I went out to GM's place to see him, and I'm stoked and over the moon to report that everything is just as awesome and spectucular as it has ever been.

He apologised several times for not making it on Tuesday, and he said I know I upset you and I'm sorry, I really wanted to be there but I was sooooo sick I could hardly move.

And I usually would have said, Yeah, no worries. It was fine.

But instead, I said, well, yeah, I felt pretty disappointed. I really wanted to introduce you to my family, and to Nicky.

And he said, I know, I really wanted to meet them too. And I didn't want to disappoint you darlin'. We'll have to make another time. What are you doing this Sunday?

Of course, this Sunday is Fathers Day (don't forget your Dad's people) so Nicky is staying out later with her Dad than usual. The weekend after is Footy Grand Final, and we're both busy with our respective teams.

We had a look at different times when we could get together so that he can meet Nicky, but this time of the year is a complete nightmare for me, so maybe it won't be for a little while. But at least I know that he's keen to meet the people that I love, and that he cares about how I feel and how his actions affect me.

He really is everything that is good in a man. I just am so completely smitten (lol - have you noticed??) and so far he's been wonderful.

 

A very very wise (and old hahahahaha) friend of mine said today that the first two weeks of a relationship are the guide to how the rest of the relationship will go. Its been over two weeks now, and so far, our future looks like rosy, sunshine-y, smoochy, sex laden, eye gazing, adorable, awesome ride.

Does it say something about me that the only things that have made me uncomfortable so far have been him saying that he'll buy me an engagement ring "so big you're knuckles will be dragging on the ground" and that he wanted to take me away on a holiday, which, when I said I couldn't afford to do that, he said "Oh, I'll pay for you darlin'"

I will add that neither of these were meant in an "I can buy you, you are a possession" kind of way, nor were they in a "I'm so rich, what a good provider I will make" kind of way. Simply stated, one day, I will get you an engagement ring, and It Shall Be Huge. And, I love spending time with you, let us do that in a more salubrious locale, Let Nothing Stand In The Way Of Us Being Together.

As I said to my beautiful friend, I've only felt this way twice before in my life. Once with my ex-fiance (right at the start) and with Mr. D.

So, Mrs. Macca, I shall take your advice, and I shall do my best not to stuff it up this time!

 

Now I could not finish this post without sending out my very warmest Birthday Wishes to the lovely and delightful Mrs. Macca.

I wish you a year filled with the excitement of your impending nuptuals, the joy of a honeymoon spent doing all sorts of acrobatic things with CK, and a first year of married life full of parties at which you can serve many many many cheese platters. (This is a rather obscure, yet clever reference to your engagement prezzies - geddit?? LOL)

You are a beautiful lady Mrs. Macca - I feel blessed to have you as my friend, and I truly think that we will only get better, closer and more able to remember birthdays with age.

I'm going to have a special glass of Moscato just for you tonight. Happy Birthday!

PS: I haven't seen the twins in a while. Do you reckon their Nan has carked it??