All The Small Things

Telephones.

They've improved our lives in so many ways, yet at the moment they seem to be the complete bain of my existance.

Firstly, and most irritating of all: Mr. D. and the Speakerphone.

The man has apparently lost the ability to hold the telephone up to his ear. I haven't seen him in person in what... two weeks... so there is a potential explanation in that he may have had both of his arms amputated by the harpie that he calls his fiancee.

(Yes, Shell shall now be known as the Harpie. I do believe it suits her. And one must have an outlet, mustn't one? I'm feeling particularly bitter this evening. Bear with me, the reason is coming...)

So tonight Mr. D. rang to speak to Nicky. No worries, they have their chat, and as they are about to hang up, I say I need to speak to Daddy, and Nicky gives me over the phone.

"Hello, how are you?"

"Hello, fine thanks."

"Sorry, I just wanted to talk about a few things with you."

"Yeah, what?"

"Well, for a start I went into the Dept. ICOST, and its going to take a couple of weeks to sort out the payments and stuff. So I wanted to make sure that you've rung in and changed all the details at your end."

"Yeah, we have."

"Righto, well I just wanted to check, because if you hadn't you'll end up with a debt. And I don't want you to get into trouble."

I can hear the Harpie... not sure who she's talking to, its a bit indistinct.

"What else?"

"Well, Nicky's been saying things like "Mum and Dad's room" and I just wanted to have a talk to you about that."

I can hear the Harpie in the background talking again. I begin to wonder if she's listening to our conversation. Its not echo-y... so I don't think we're on speakerphone...

"She calls the Harpie either Shell or Stepmum" says Mr. D.

"Well, while she's been here she's referred to her as Mum a couple of times, "Mum and Dad's room" "I went with Mum and Dad" and I just don't think that thats right. I mean, I wouldn't let her call someone else Dad. You only have one mum or dad."

"Yeah, well its up to Nicky what she calls her."

"Well, no, I think that its something that we can help her with. I think it would be nice if you encouraged her to say Shell all the time, or something else. I mean your (half) brothers call your mum Auntie Vi, not Mum. So maybe we could come up with something else like that? I just kind of think its a little bit... disrespectful almost. She's only got one Mum."

The harpie has raised her voice now, and I can make out what she's saying. Its not pleasant. She's telling me off. "Its none of your business Sass, what she calls me, disrespectful my arse, you can keep your opinions to yourself" and so on.

"Am I on speakerphone Mr. D.?"

"Yes."

*Sigh* I don't even bother asking him to pick it up.

The Harpie is still going on in the background.

"Shell, I'm talking to Mr. D., not you."

Raised angry bitter spiteful hateful Harpie carryon in the background. "Well I'm part of this too Sass, and I have a right to be part of this conversation. You have to talk to me."

I ignore her and keep addressing Mr. D.

"Mr. D., what time on Tuesday?"

"5pm."

"No worries, and thanks for letting Nicky come home for the party, she had a great time."

"No worries. Bye"

"Bye."

The harpie kept up throughout this final exchange. I wonder if its the pregnancy hormones making her behave in such an unpleasant way?

Throughout this conversation, Mr. D. was actually very pleasant. He sounded as if he was taking on board what I was saying, and I wasn't being horrible about it, or bitchy, but I really do think that a child only has ONE mum or dad. It's not a title that can be used by mulitple people in a childs life. Thats just confusing and wrong. I would NEVER allow Nicky to call another man dad. She's only got one dad, and he's excellent.

Its not that I'm worried about her replacing me, or anything like that - I'm Nicky's mum, and there isn't anything that can change that. I just think it is disrespectful to me as her mother to encourage her to call someone else mum.

I hope Mr. D. is able to agree with me on this, after all, it is something that his family has had to deal with before, and they have gone the route of choosing a different name, so that's got to be a good precedent right?

What do you think?

 

Second Phone Drama - The Man with a Mobile.

Men are strange creatures. So are women. Women have trained men to pursue them. To chase, lavish with affection, and generally just hang about like lapdogs.

I DON'T LIKE THIS BEHAVIOUR.

Not one little bit. It's annoying. It assumes that I have nothing to do with every waking moment than recieve insipid text messages, take telephone calls, and gaze into his eyes.

And lets face it, I have lots of other things going on right now. I'm busy.

I HAVE A LIFE PEOPLE.

I want a man who will call when he say's he's going to call. Occasionally, its nice to get a call that you aren't expecting. I'm not that hard to get along with really.

But I want a man who understands that if I say, "I'll see you on Saturday", what I mean is, I'll see you on Saturday. If these plans are made on a Wednesday, then I really don't need to talk to him three times a day on the days in between. Once, maybe. Twice at a push. But three times every day? No. Sorry. Don't need it.

Don't need text messages every couple of hours throughout the day (yes. literally.). Don't need to be called, just to see if we can possibly get together sooner than Saturday.

Because IF I COULD HAVE GOTTEN TOGETHER SOONER, I would have said that, and arranged our next date accordingly, wouldn't I?

*Sigh*

He's a nice boy, the dancing, tall, funny one. But he's driving me around the bend, up the wall, and then back round the bend again. I'm doing circuits.

I like him, I do. I would like to see him again. I just want to be left the hellski alone inbetween times.

And I have a date with the other one on this coming Friday - I can only hope that I can get batchelor number one to settle the heck down before then. I'm just not interested in having this person constantly in my face. And I sure as hell hope the other one isn't going to be the same way.

Harsh?

 

How I wish I didn't have to deal with telephones.

Maybe tomorrow I'll just turn mine off and leave the other one off the hook.