The morning after...
I went out last night.
Into town with one of my beautiful girlfriends, and I had the most amazing time.
She made me dance, in this completely bogan pub, when there was no-one else dancing. I don't usually dance unless the complete dancefloor is packed and no-one can see me 'cos its so crowded and dark. But she made me, and it was the most amazing thing - I had to just get over myself.
The guy I'm sort-of-seeing's sister was there - I don't really know what to do about that whole thing.
He's lovely, and a gentleman, but he's young. Really young. I don't know. I've discussed it with a couple of my friends, and the general consensus is that his age shouldn't be a problem. And it shouldn't - after all, it's just a state of mind. I'm always horrified when people judge me based on age.
It's not even necessarily the number though - it's more that he's not at the same stage as I am. He's not immature, but he's not really mature either. He's a tweenie.
Take this weekend for example. He has spent the last two days working on his car, so that he can take it away to the Easternats, and race it. When we are together we talk mainly about cars, or his flatmates relationship woes. It's not very good.
What I'm really looking for is a soul connection, with someone who is intelligent and articulate, challenging, bright, funny and witty. Someone who can keep up with me and hold his own. And I can't really say that he is those things. He's not dumb, but he isn't interested in the same things that I am, and we have very little in common. Except that we like each other. Inexplicable really.
I feel like such a fool. He's a lovely guy - I enjoy his company, but I don't really feel that butterfly-tingle-urge-to-see-him feeling. He doesn't really make me feel wanted. That's such an important thing to do I think, to make the person that you are with feel wanted. I just don't get that from him.
It's not fair of me to be sort-of-seeing someone that I'm really not that interested in, I don't think that it is the right thing to do.
I think I'll tell him that I can't see him anymore.
Because frankly, I'd rather be alone with integrity.
