Just as soon as I can figure out how to make my new computer cut and paste into this space my friends...]]
Ah, Blog. How I have missed you!!! So many thoughts unshared - so much angst just... cried out at night rather than spilled poetically or swearfully across the internet for the voyeuristic pleasure of a very very few...
But here I am. Back. It cost me though. I write from my new and improved and own (not supplied by a generous employer...) sexy little laptop. Anyone who's in the market - AppleMacBook Pro. I'm pretty sure that it can remember my birthday, and order me flowers, it can completely connect with my favourite restaurant and make reservations, and I know if it had just one more plug in attachment Jay would be getting a run for his money!!!!
So the reason for the radio silence was a sudden and complete move and change of circumstance. I got a great new job, moved from Sassville, and took up residence in a lovely big home in nearby Sasstropolis with the delightful Jay.
Its been an interesting couple of months. Six months actually. How fast did that go!!!
Living with Jay is a wonder and delight. He's a joy to be around and with, and he's so very house broken. I can't begin to tell you. I have never seen a man volunteer to clean the toilet - and he does it so beautifully!! He removes the whole seat, every time, and scrubs all the bolts and stuff until they are all shiny shiny bright. I would seriously eat off the toilet when Jay is finished with it. (I haven't. Lets just get that straight.)
What has been really difficult though is the kids.
Nicky is great - she and Jay get along beautifully, and when its just the three of us things are wonderful. Meals are good - Nicky eats more with Jay around, which is great,and he can really encourage her to eat different things and try things that she might otherwise refuse to try.
But when Jay's children arrive it gets really hard.
At first it wasn't too bad. We tried really hard. I tried REALLY hard. I went out of my way to make sure that their washing was always done and folded and put on their beds for them, and that I made what they liked for dinner.
When Jay went off work with an injury, and didn't have as much expendable income, I paid for takeaway, nights out, extra treats.
But they don't like me. And while that doesn't really bother me (although obviously I'm awesome and they should like me), they also have a range of behaviours which are incredibly hard to live with.
I made a really beautiful lasagne the other day, and the comment was "It doesn't taste as good as the bought one." IT TOTALLY TASTED BETTER THAN THE BOUGHT ONE. Grr.
I hit a wall a few weeks ago. I was going to take Nicky to the circus. She really wanted to go,and so I'd promised that I'd take her. Jay and I had a conversation about it,and basically it boiled down to this:
He couldn't afford totake the boys, but he didn't think that it was fair for me to take Nicky and not take the boys.
So in the end, I took everyone to the circus. I bought everyone a gimmicky toy thing, and got the midrange seats, so that we'd have a good view.
All up, it cost me just over $150.
And they didn't even say thankyou.
Worse than that, they complained that they didn't get enough crappy stuff bought for them, and that they would have preferred better seats. (for $20 more per person no less!!)
So I'm not doing that any more. I've had enough of paying for things, and going out of my way, and getting nothing but nasty behaviour back again. If they want to hide my phone, spit on the outside of the shower walls, throw food under the table and hide soiled underwear in the hamper for me, then I'm not going to keep going out of my way to be nice.
Its pretty tense.They've made it really clear that they don't want to live here with us, and the more Jay tries to make them spend the time and engage with Nicky and I, the more they rebel and behave badly.
And if I ever think that we have it bad from them, I only have to look at Jay to know that he has it twenty times worse. The way they treat him is way way way worse than anything that they do to us.
Anyway, I'm sure that they will come around eventually, and there is obviously lots of work to be done on repairing the damage that their mother does in painting Jay to be an evil devil man. Which he isn't. He's a lovely, loving, sweet and thoughtful man, and he'd do anything for those kids.
All in all though, and despite the children, living with Jay is awesome, and I wouldn't change it for a thing. The only thing that I needed to change of course was that I needed to be able to void my mind into the beautiful, non-judgemental space that is this blog, and now that I can do that my needs are being met in a very special way.
Apart from that, nothing much to report...
Except for maybe that we're looking at buying a house in Sassville (YAYAYAYAYAY) so we're going to do an inspection today.