The Front Porch

I couldn’t believe my ears.  We were enjoying fellowship and the festivities when our teacher soberly said, “It’s guaranteed, I need to tell you that one of you will betray me." The mood changed instantly.  I overheard numerous disciples assuring Christ, “It’s not me.” 

 

My mind began to wonder, “Who would do such a thing?”  Christ then mentioned something about bread being dipped, but I didn’t catch everything he said, I couldn’t quit wondering if Christ thought that I would betray Him.

 

As soon as we left that upper room, I went immediately to Christ.  Just as I approached Him, Christ said that all of us would let Him down. “You know I love you like a brother. You know I would never, in a thousand years, let you down. Don’t you?” I said. Christ’s eyes penetrated deep into mine. 

 

I would rather be shipwrecked in freezing seas than hear what Christ had to say.  "Peter, tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times."  Did Christ not hear me declare my loyalty to Him?  Then and there I decided to prove myself.  I wasn’t going to let Christ out of my sight until I showed my loyalty.

 

You can imagine my pride when Christ asked me and the two brothers to pray with Him in Gethsemane.  Christ seemed terribly sad, and I thought that a chance to prove my loyalty had come.  I began to pray fervently for Christ and that His sorrows would be lifted.  As time lingered on, my breathes became deeper and my eyes heavier.  My heart sunk when I was awakened, “Peter, couldn’t you wait up just one hour with me?”  Truly, I was embarrassed beyond measure. However, the shame only intensified when Christ found me sleeping a second and third time.  Now, I must prove my sincere loyalty. 

 

Just then Judas and a few guards approached us.  As Judas kissed Christ’s cheek I realized that the betrayer had come.  I am loyal to my Leader.  I am loyal enough to fight.  Just then a guard stepped forward to apprehend Christ.  His arms were massive for he had been training to wield a sword in battle.  To wield the sword with such power that he could deliver a killing blow.  “My sword,” I thought.  I reached to my side and as quickly as I could I swung for the soldier’s neck.

 

To my horror, and embarrassment, I missed.  I merely cut off the soldier’s ear.  To add insult to injury, Christ reached for the ear and touched it to the soldier’s head.  The soldier was healed and Christ scolded me telling me to put my sword away.  I am loyal, but Christ won’t accept my loyalty.  It was then that I decided to leave, perhaps even for good.  I would rather the camaraderie of unfair businessmen at the fishing docks than an insulting teacher.

 

That night I was asked numerous times of my relationship with Christ.  Were we friends?  Ha, I’d rather curse Christ’s name than admit friendship.  By the time the cock crowed, I realized that I had done exactly what I promised to never do.  Maybe it was anger with Christ, maybe it was shame, or perhaps a bit of both, but I decided to go fishing – back to the Sea of Galilee.

 

Several days later, with about a half dozen other disciples, we sat in my boat.  My string of bad luck seemed to follow us onto the sea.  We were out all night catching nothing.  Then, at sun’s first break, a voice from the distant shoreline called, “Have you any fish? Consider fishing on the other side of the boat.”  What foolishness!  Fishing boats rarely measure over three feet in width.  To fish on one side was to fish on the other.  Regardless, a few of the disciples gathered the nets and dropped them off the other side.  To my surprise, the nets were full.  John, a great fisherman himself, knew the foolishness of such instruction.  At the sight of full nets, John called out, “Master!”

 

I knew John was right.  In an instant, I flung myself over the boat and began to swim.  We all were hungry, which Christ knew.  He built a fire and prepared fish.  After we were filled Christ turned to me.  “Peter, do you love me?”  I began to explain to Christ that my love for Him was loyal.  I told Christ that I love Him as a brother.  “But do you love me sacrificially?”  Christ seemed to push the question as I assured Him that I would stand for Him in ways only a brother would. 

 

Just as I was beginning to feel discouraged again, even a bit useless, Christ unfolded great plans that He had in mind for me.  I began to remember the day I received my nickname.  My birth name is Simon.  However, one day Christ told me that He was going to use me in a great way.  Christ then started calling me Rock, which for some reason made me feel very special.  Today, though, Christ told me how I was going to live up to my new name.  How, even though I had failed, Christ still wanted to use me.  Joy filled my heart, as I began to realize Christ’s loyalty to me.  Christ desired to use me, an imperfect being, to accomplish His perfect will.  I can’t help but to think that Christ will always use imperfect people to do His perfect will.