AnOtHeR DaY HaS Pazzzzzzzz
It's another new day..... wat has happened yest? nothing much but d usual things. i gave him a good nite kiss wif no return or expression or reaction frm him... n again, he spent d last quater of his sleep in d hall w/ his most precious mobile n of course his bolster.
I dun reali understand... he can go out w/o his mobile n when u ask if he wants to bring along, he wld oways say tat his phone is not tat important... but when in d middle of d nite, he sure has to keep his phone w/ him. Y ??? nobody noes except for himself... i nv want to ask cuz he sure will say tat i'm too sensitive n we will end up quarelling n ultimately, i'll b d one @ fault. He can b reali reali nice at times but.........
He's oways more concern n spent most of his times @ home w/ his pc... mayb i shld mark on d calender when was d day i gave him a hug or kiss n when r d days he gave me.... mayb tat will cfn how often do i get tat little love frm him....
I noes tat he appreciates me for giving him 2 kids but apart frm d flowers i rec'd, there seems to b nothing more,,, i dun want n dun need any thing material.. rather all i wish n longed for are when i juz release some grumbles abt how tired i am, he can hug me n tell me softly tat he understands how hard i hv been trying to b a good mum... but so far, tat nv happens.... mayb he nv worries tat i mite ever suffer frm post-natal depression. To him, he oways wants to think positive for such things assuming tat so long u dun think, tat wont happen. but in terms of financial, he oways hv a "wat if" mind set tat better careful than sorry....
How can i make myself cry.... i reali wish to hv a shoulder to cry on but there's no available one n there's no tears.....
