"You Cannot Destroy Me"

FUCKING HELL

SO FUCKING PISSED OFF.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

FAT BITCH.

 

D;

Mood: Shitty.
Listening to: The Spill Canvas

I give up.
There is no point in trying, whenever I try, I get knocked down and this time i've decided; what's the point in getting back up when you end up right back to where you started anyway?

My life isn't fantastic, but it's not COMPLETELY fucked up either. I have friends, I'm close to my family, I get good marks in school and whatever else. So why do I feel so fucking hopeless and lonely all the time? I feel like i'm being ungrateful, because my life is fine. I'm only young, I have more to live for. Yet I just feel like crawling into bed and never leaving until the feeling goes away.

But I don't think that will be happening soon, nothings going right lately, everything seems to be falling apart and I can't fix it. There are some things I can make go away, but I choose not to and I hate myself for it. Other people seem to also, i've been having too many arguments lately. And i've been losing too many 'friends' too, there doesn't really seem to be much point to anything now. The only thing I want to concentrate on is music. My Chemical Romance&Singing, that's my life. The only things that keep me going. Free from everything, all the stress and stuff.

I just want something to go right for once.
Please.

Mood: Bleh
Listening to: Nothing, waiting for Ayashi No Ceres to load

Blah.

I've just realized that no matter how much you want something, it doesn't matter how hard you try, sometimes it just won't happen.
Even if it's meant to happen, and if it doesn't everything else will fall apart, theres nothing that will make it certain that it's going to happen.

But whatever, it sucks. Alcoholplz? Yes.

x

Mood: Crap
Listening to: Nothing, about to go to bed.

I'm fed up of everything now.
Everyone can fuck off.
I don't care, I just wanna get pissed and fuck myself up.
Because that's the only time I don't overthink.

I wish people would stop fucking me about.
And, I just, grrr...
I can't seem to keep friends, people really don't like me for some reason.
I meet new people then they just stop talking to me completely.
And it's like.. What the fuck is your problem?
I just don't understand, am I a bad friend? Tbh, I don't think I am. I'd do anything for my friends because they're one of the only things in this world that keeps me going. The true ones anyway. I only have a few true friends, since most of them turned out to be cunts who couldn't give a shit anyway.

 

What's the point in putting all your trust into someone? 'Cause they're only gonna throw it back in your fucking face.

So... Alcohol. Now. =[

Mood: Meh
Listening to: Lost Prophets - Last Train Home

I need better friends. :/
Seriously.
Well, I need more friends. More true friends, cause most of the friends I have now are just.. Shit.
I need to meet new friends and forget about the old ones who forget about me. They can go die now i'm done with them.
=]

Also, bleurgh. I wish I had someone I could just cuddle with for ages, and just talk to about everything, anything and nothing. Like, if I have a shitty day, at least I know I have someone to go and talk to and they'll make me feel better. But I don't, so i'm not gonna think about it.

Oh well.

Mood: EEEEEEEEEEEEE.... x.x
Listening to: Slipknot

Welll, today was kinda crappy but I made it good by being positive. ^.^

People are annoying me atm, it's annoying the way they all want to be like each other. Everyone is the same, it's just annoying. And i'm not even talking mainstream anymore, all the kids who think they are unique, when they know they're not. The scene kids, they all just wanna be like each other.
Yes, I label people. Wow. Seriously, fucking shock horror? So what.
If you see someone sitting there with a huge fringe over their face, a powerangers bagpack, skinny jeans, grey hoodie and pumps then you're gonna assume they listen to shit like Fall Out Boy, everyone labels even if it's subconciously, it happens, get over it. Hypocrites, psh.

Anyways. Heres me thinking i'm over someone, but no0o0o0o I have to go and like them again. D:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
I hate people. I hate crushes. It shouldn't be possible to like someone who you have no chance in hell with.

I know you're probably reading this though, so you know..
I know that nothing could possibly ever happen between us, no matter how much i'd like it to, and I accept that. I just want you to know.

>_<
*Goes to bed*

Mood: In pain
Listening to: Nickelback X.X

THE PAIN X.X

Went camping on saturday 8:45, first we had to put everything we were taking which included food, clothes, cooker thingie ma bob first aid kit etc etc into this big giant blue bag. Then we had to fill up a water bottle and put it in there, then carry it into the Van. Then we went to Mawdsley on the van and when we got there me and Ami saw this big gang of Emo kids and I was like "-.- oh great." But Ami was all "OMG! *orgasm*"

Yeah, so after that we went to put our tents up. Then, we went walking with these maps and we had to find our way to some pub. After the first hour, we got lost. I lay on the floor for like 2 minutes and some old guy with a burberry cap on was like '....is she okay?'
After the first 3 hours my shoulders started to die, and I started to get sunburnt. Then the next 3 hours were just hell. Kath carried my bag for the last 20 minutes but it just didn't make a difference at all. Anyways, we went back to the campsite place thing and put all our shit into the tent. Soon everyone was making a campfire, and me and Ami being the anti-social bitches we are stayed outside the tent making coffee and hot chocolate. Then, like 10 minutes later these two girls from our school who hated us before and bitched about us aaand made fun of us about being "Goffs" or whatever were talking to us. So we were like '....Er? Are we missing something?'

Soon after that it turned into a bitch fest about people from school, then they were being nice to us so we were proper confused and then they were like 'omg why are they making a fire blah blah blah lets go walk somewhere' so yeah it got dark, and we crossed some bridge then this duck waddled dead fast under it and Ami shit herself. That was funny.

So yeah we got back, me&Ami decided we liked the campfire and sat by it. Then the rest of them decided to go to some really cold place and I decided not to. After like an hour of begging me I finally gave up, but only because Ami asked me if I would. We went to some random hill and all the lights and whatnot looked pretty. Blah blah got back to our tent, there was a shit load of insects in there [Spiders, Caterpillars etc] and I shit myself and legged it out of the tent. Ami had to kill the spider and get the caterpillar out but she wouldn't touch it, so she was trying to get it on some paper but it kept rolling off. She was getting really impatient after the 100th time it rolled off. Anyways, after she done that we just stayed up and laughed at nothing for a few hours, then we fell asleep. I woke up and thought Ami was a gorilla and some cow wouldn't stfu mooing. 

But I woke up and Ami's mp3 was playing some Nickelback song, a band who i'd never really been too fond of before. And I like, completely fell in love with it. The night before she also got me into InMe too X.X

Theeen, we had to go for another 4 hours of walking with those giant bags. UGHHHH. When we finally got back we took our tent down and WENT HOME FUCKING FINALLY.

I hate camping.