Madness

Mood: Abnormally Soap Operatic
Listening to: Blabber

There are certain things in life that seems to be so incomprehensible......Life is a journey that sometimes encompasses not only a gamut of emotions but also a reason to go on and find the real meaning of BEING.....the only certain thing there is uncertainty itself.

Typical of a 29 year old woman still searching for answers....I seek something that is unknown even to myself...such  questions bears no answers though.  Typical......(sigh).  Is it the thought of turning 30? Feeling that the years have crept up on me and grabbed my youth has really dampened my day today....(am not a good sight for sore eyes anymore...more like a sore on the eye).

As of this moment I bear testimony to all hardships that women my age goes through....just turning thirty with the world's burden seemingly on my shoulders.  I have three gorgeous kids that seem to look up to me....for what I really don't know. They are my world right now....I am lost.  I have buried myself in three different individuals....they will grow to be individual ladies carrying a part of me in their personality....and when they go.....I will be left alone.   Definitely....I am lost. 

I am lost!!!!!  That is a shout for help in my deepest inner soul. Where to turn to....(hhhmmm...there is always OPRAH....bleeeeech!!!). 

Call it metamorphosis....(ain't that too late?) but I want to stretch out a little and feel the wind on my cheeks again (not those cheeks....Hmpfff!!! Although it wouldn't be repulsive at all to feel it hike up my skirt sometime   ...winkzz...winkzzz)       

....sad to say that freedom has a price.....and right now....am not willing to pay.

So here I am.  Literally stuck in a place I both love and hate with equal proportions....Grrrrrr!!! The only thing that tips the scale over to my situation right now is my kids...and I CANNOT live without THEM.

The thing I CAN do is write it down.....next thing you know....I might be as popular as the people who wrote those books Oprah is ecstatic about....that's a thought!!!

Heads on...heads lock....just lemme at 'em.  Wanna take a bet??