Madness

Mood: Nonconformist
Listening to: A louder kinda blabber

I sit here surrounded with people....deafening voices that seem to permeate the thickness of the suffocating air can be heard three rows back.  My throat is killing me and to cinch it all i am hungry.  

I work the graveyard shift...trying to make sure that peoples dsl problems gets solved as soon as possible through the phone...not a pretty way to earn money. Imagine the number of irate customers that would call in complaining about their connectivity. (Sigh!!)

Have you watched GATTACCA?? The movie where they splice your dna and reconstruct everything so that your offspring would be engineered even before being conceived??...producing voila!!!...perfect human specimens.  Not only does it have something to do with wanting perfection, it also has a lot to do with needing and obsessing with conformity.

If you look at it..Being different does sometime scare a lot of people...even the intelligent ones.

I dont easily get upset anymore when i see people drinking beer early in the morning....and I don't get upset when people eat dog or snake or whatever there is abundant in their native region....I guess this is their culture.

What is scary is someone who insists on holding on to ones narrow world and insisting you accompany them there. 

Am too tired to think right now...probably why my ramblings goes on and on and on and on and on and.....

 

 

Mood: Abnormally Soap Operatic
Listening to: Blabber

There are certain things in life that seems to be so incomprehensible......Life is a journey that sometimes encompasses not only a gamut of emotions but also a reason to go on and find the real meaning of BEING.....the only certain thing there is uncertainty itself.

Typical of a 29 year old woman still searching for answers....I seek something that is unknown even to myself...such  questions bears no answers though.  Typical......(sigh).  Is it the thought of turning 30? Feeling that the years have crept up on me and grabbed my youth has really dampened my day today....(am not a good sight for sore eyes anymore...more like a sore on the eye).

As of this moment I bear testimony to all hardships that women my age goes through....just turning thirty with the world's burden seemingly on my shoulders.  I have three gorgeous kids that seem to look up to me....for what I really don't know. They are my world right now....I am lost.  I have buried myself in three different individuals....they will grow to be individual ladies carrying a part of me in their personality....and when they go.....I will be left alone.   Definitely....I am lost. 

I am lost!!!!!  That is a shout for help in my deepest inner soul. Where to turn to....(hhhmmm...there is always OPRAH....bleeeeech!!!). 

Call it metamorphosis....(ain't that too late?) but I want to stretch out a little and feel the wind on my cheeks again (not those cheeks....Hmpfff!!! Although it wouldn't be repulsive at all to feel it hike up my skirt sometime   ...winkzz...winkzzz)       

....sad to say that freedom has a price.....and right now....am not willing to pay.

So here I am.  Literally stuck in a place I both love and hate with equal proportions....Grrrrrr!!! The only thing that tips the scale over to my situation right now is my kids...and I CANNOT live without THEM.

The thing I CAN do is write it down.....next thing you know....I might be as popular as the people who wrote those books Oprah is ecstatic about....that's a thought!!!

Heads on...heads lock....just lemme at 'em.  Wanna take a bet??