Changes
ARGH! things are changing from day to day and its driving me crazy...a month from today i was totally happy but its weird how in a month people can change and make you feel the total oppersite of how u saw them as before, whether or not u want them to be! All the decisions i made before are suddenly turning to doubts. Although im clear on one thing - i can't wait til i leave school. Lots of my friends feel the same way, mostly for the same reasons as my own.
I can't wait to get away from some of the people i hang round with now, its funny everyone used to be friends but groups are forming, rumours raging round and talking behind others backs are like the daily routine! Now, im not saying i havnt done any of this..but im sure i didnt go as far as some of the others. It is affecting so many of my friends lives that i duno who i can really talk to anymore, it feels as if i only have one true friend at the moment. Im glad of her as some things have gone on recently ive not been allowed to tell anyone and it was making me feel bad even though it was a good thing for me...that turned into a bad thing. So was a relief to be able to talk bout it to someone, although not everything was said. Oh well, will be interesting to find out how things turn out over the next month. Just hope things dont get worse.
I can't wait to get away from some of the people i hang round with now, its funny everyone used to be friends but groups are forming, rumours raging round and talking behind others backs are like the daily routine! Now, im not saying i havnt done any of this..but im sure i didnt go as far as some of the others. It is affecting so many of my friends lives that i duno who i can really talk to anymore, it feels as if i only have one true friend at the moment. Im glad of her as some things have gone on recently ive not been allowed to tell anyone and it was making me feel bad even though it was a good thing for me...that turned into a bad thing. So was a relief to be able to talk bout it to someone, although not everything was said. Oh well, will be interesting to find out how things turn out over the next month. Just hope things dont get worse.
I will not know many people at this college, and am slightly apprehensive about it as i am not the worlds best friend-maker, however i feel i am ready for new friends having been with some of them for 5 years solid, even if i have to undergo an uncomfortable and lonely few weeks. I know i wil hate it, and wish that i was at the other college with my friends but i think this is the right decision for me. Change is good afterall. Don't get me wrong, i love my friends to bits and don't know who i would be without them all, but as we appraoch our last final months of secondary school i have discovered most of them are at times either two faced, dishonest or make me feel down in some way or other although we've had many good times anlong the way, particually in our younger years. We are slowly drifting apart and we all know it, i guess it's just one of those things but still no-one wants to admit that this time next year, we may not even be friends anymore.
