Lost and Found
Mood: Grateful, hopefully, prayerful
Listening to: shimmer
You never really know what you have ubtil you lose it.
Within the last 24 hours I lost something that was already the most important thing in my life, my real reason for living. I thought I knew how important it was. I had no idea. I lost sight of the truth of it and jepordized it all. Then it was taken away. I had lost it. I was staring down the barrel of a living death. Life with out the only people that had ever loved me, and worse, life with the knowledge that I had destroyed their lives as well. I never cried so hard, I never prayed so hard. I begged to stay with them, I begged that they would be protected from my mistake. For one more chance to truely honor and charish what I had been given.
Than, I was granted it. at least for a time. I will pray every night that I will not lose it again, that it will not be threatened again. I will live every day like I should have been already, like it's my last with them.
Please let me have this last chance, please. We will leave you alone and let you start you self anew. We have both survived this. Let us both now begin to live again, wiser and stonger. We both have and continue to suffer the concequences. I will forever suffer the concequences, and rejoice in the leasson. I had lost them, then you gave them back to me. Thank you for teaching me what really matters without taking it away. I'm not kidding, it would have killed me. - literally.
