Planet Nergeedor

Oct 18, 2005 at 05:14 o\clock

Did you miss me? / Dr. Phil's nutty guest

Mood: depressed yet hopeful

...Probably not, but a girl can dream can't she?
 
I've been trying to pull myself together so I can get, OPERATION: Get The Fuck Out Of This Hell Hole, up and running. I've been writing everyday and reading and trying not to be depressed...So what if I am depressed and sick and tired and lonely and and and? I'm still going to get going because I refuse to be stuck living like this for the rest of my life...
 
The loneliness is almost unbearable, No one to talk to, no one to do things with, no one to argue with, no one to laugh with, no one to cry with. All I have is my sweet self which is a lot, but hows it go "no man is an island"...I think loneliness is a disease that, if not treated, ends in death. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal I just think that love is what keeps people going through the worst times and without love it's very difficult to see the point in trying. Self love is not what I mean. I mean ...I don't know what I mean, who the hell am I to try and talk about love, I should maybe stick to subjects that have experience with. 
 
Where in the hell does DR. Phil find these people. This chick said she didn't want to met umm I think Ashley Olson, not sure though, anyway she said and I quote "I don't want to meet her, I want to be her. Has anyone seen the movie "Single White Female?" That's the first thing I thought of. Remember I said that Vin Diesel needed to get a stun gun for his crazed fans? Well, the Olson chick needs a priest, holy water, silver bullets, a flame thrower, a book of magic spells...I'd be freaked out if someone said that about me! There's levels of "Fans," you have fan, hard-core fan, ultimate fan, over zealous fan, going a little to far fan, crossing the line fan and then lunatic fan, I think we know where she falls... And I thought I had problems!

Comments for this entry:

  1. drifting wrote at Oct 18, 2005 at 06:04 o\clock:I can relate to the desperate loneliness. I guess I have my daughter to talk to but when she\'s not here for a few days I get really down - not even an online friend to talk to. If you know you\'re loved by someone it does help you keep going. To think that someone somewhere actually cares about you, apart from family. (Yeah, who would that be?)
  2. Nergeedor wrote at Oct 19, 2005 at 03:58 o\clock:drifting I know what you mean. Family is sort of forced to care about you and if you have a family like mine, who only care when it\'s convient for them, you\'re pretty much screwed...At least you can talk to your daughter when she\'s there but I still get what you\'re saying...Reading these blogs made me realize that there are a lot of people going through the very same thing!

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