Completely Random
Mood: crunchy
Listening to: Amos Lee
Let's Play A Game -- remember I said that The Bible is 99% metaphorical? Well if I had done what I did this morning, back in the day, and someone described it the way I'm going to describe it...I would have been burned or drowned or hung...Anyway I want you to guess what I'm talking about...
The evil witched slowly sipped the steaming potion she had just brewed. She stood, feet planted firmly on the floor, chanting a rhytimic spell, softly at first, then as she felt her powers increase, her voice began to smoothly roll the chant from deep within. She felt stronger...the spell had begun to work. Soon they would all be drawn to her, like bees to honey. Yes, she thought, They will worship me! They will bow before me and my spell will overtake them. They'll be mine!
Now, what on earth was I doing this morning? ...See! It's all about people's interpretation of things!
That one passage in the bible that says "...sin causes illness..." is so misinterpreted! It doesn't mean that people who have cancer or aids or kidney failure are evil and are being punished! It means that if you do something you know is wrong...let me put it this way. If you're married and cheat on your spouse, you'll start to feel guilty, then worry, then you'll start to think well maybe hubby or wife has done the same thing. You'll be terrified of being found out and of losing everything you care about. The stress and worry will consume your life, you wont have a moments rest because, constantly you will be thinking of what you did...that is what that passage means...Why is it that I see things from a completely different angle? People look at me like I'm insane sometimes!
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A Few of My Favorite Celebrity Quotes (most aren't exact quotes, but you'll get it)!
Rob Zombie (on mtv's cribs): You'll notice that there is no water in the hot tub. I don't consider sitting in boiling water fun...you're cooking!
Ellen: How'd you gain weight for the role?
Vin Diesel: I ate a pint of ice cream every night.
Ellen: How long did it take you to lose the weight?
Vin Diesel: A month. (or maybe 2 weeks, can't remember)
Ellen: and how'd you do it?
Vin Diesel: I stopped eating ice cream every night.
Audience (mostly women): hissing angrily
David Letterman (on his hair loss): Maybe I should go bald.
Vin Diesel: I think you should. (The look on his face when he said this was funny as hell! It's like I could tell he was thinking "Dave you know you look silly.") You gotta love Diesel!
Hal Sparks (on scientology): ...and then they have that soul nintendo
Oprah (talking to a country singer): It's good that you came on here though...so people could see that celebrities are messed up too...You know you're really messed up don't you?
Rick James: You would have to be out of your mind to go and grind your feet into someone's couch. See I never did things just to do them...Yeah I remember grinding my feet into Eddies couch...(Why'd you do it?) 'Cause Eddie could buy a new one!
(on some award show)...And to the girl backstage who thought I was someone else. I'm Rick James Bitch!
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The Phantom vs. Raoul...I would have went with The Phantom! He's that fire! Raoul is a little bitch. The Phantom had mad balls! ...I love it when Raoul goes and puts that music box on Christine's grave and The Phantom has already been there!
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'The Fallen' is coming out on DVD...it wasn't that good, but it cracked me up when the dude was biting the ankles of the men, then later he bit the mummy's ankle and dust and shit was all in his mouth and the other guy says "you've got to learn a better way to fight." (earlier in the movie before he bit his first ankle) He said something like "I know how to fight, I had five sisters." That's not an exact quote but you get the picture.
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I saw that 'sauna belt' commercial again. If I thought for one second that that crap worked I'd have those bitches strapped all over my body! On my arms, by stomach, my thighs, my butt, my breast...I'd make 'em rich!
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I mentioned on my numbers entry that there are five bloggers who crack me up. I read a lot of blogs but there are some people who are just hilarious!...Here they are:
Drenched N Wine - Sapphire
Jackie's Thoughts -- Wintewonderland
Weblog of Ghostgirl --Ghostgirl
Stuff -- Apathetic
Fading The Surface Noise -- MattelMichele (couldn't take the prepend crap huh? Ha-Ha!)
Don't drink while reading Ghostgirl! I spit water everywhere once! I don't even remember what was so funny, but you gotta love her!
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Do you know this bitch looked at me and asked (with an attitude) if I wanted a senior ticket! So I gave her my "I will cut you motherfucker" look and she said "Oh I'm sorry." and wouldn't make eye contact anymore. Now If you saw the way I look, you'd be calling her a bitch too. I don't even look 30 let alone 60!...The things I have to deal with. Why do chicks treat me that way?...Haters!
Have a great rest of the weekend...I get to go to my nephews\' 3rd B-Day party today!
Jackie