Venting that can't wait...
So, it's been a while. I know you already figured out that I have been very sick. I'm still sick, but I need to scream at all of the idiots on the planet.
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DEAR DUMB ASS HUMANS,
THE DaVINCI CODE IS A WORK OF FICTION. FICTION. DAN BROWN IS SOMEWHERE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT ALL OF YOU AND DA VINCI IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE WITH LAUGHTER AT THE COUNTLESS NUMBERS OF BIBLE BELIEVERS THAT ARE ON EVERY TELEVISION SHOW SAYING THAT "THERE IS NO PROOF AS TO THE CLAIMS OF THE DAVINCI CODE." FOOLS, THERE IS NO PROOF AS TO THE CLAIMS OF THE BIBLE! NONE WHAT SO EVER. THINK ABOUT IT. NOTHING IN THE BIBLE CAN BE PROVEN. THE REASON RELIGION WAS INVENTED WAS TO BUILD ARMIES AND SCARE PEOPLE INTO DOING AS THEY ARE TOLD WITHOUT QUESTION. RELIGION IS A MAN MADE INSTRUMENT USED TO CONTROL. THIS IS WHY CHURCH LEADERS ARE AFRAID OF THE DA VINCI CODE AND OTHER BOOKS LIKE IT. THEY FEAR THAT PEOPLE WILL START TO QUESTION WHETHER OR NOT THE BIBLE IS FACT OR FICTION. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING RELIGIOUS, IF THAT'S YOUR THING, MORE POWER TO YOU. BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO AROUND SAYING THAT THERE IS NO EVIDENCE TO BACK SOMETHING UP, YOU MUST ALSO ADMIT THAT THERE IS NO EVIDENCE TO BACK UP THE BIBLE.
AND TO THE FOOLS WHO THINK THE DA VINCI CODE IS FACT, PLEASE PUT THE CRACK PIPES DOWN. DRUGS KILL.
IT'S A BOOK, A BOOK THAT IS BEING SOLD AS FICTION BECAUSE, GUESS WHAT? IT'S FICTION.
WHY ISN'T ANYONE UPSET ABOUT 'ANGELS AND DEMONS?
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That whole theory I had about the next 25 years of my life being great has been shot to hell. I don't know why but when I get very sick, I also get very lonely. These past days have been so hard for me, not only am I sick and lonely but I also have to deal with self absorbed people who think I HAVE to give them something for Mother's Day. I'm minding my own fucking business, I was finally able to get to the kitchen to get something to eat at around 4 or 5 pm and here comes my mother:
egg donor: Do you know what you forgot to do? You forgot to give me and Mom something for mothers day.
I didn't say anything I just look at her like she's crazy. I don't HAVE to give you something just because society says I should. If being a mother consist of having sex and getting pregnant then I'd maybe feel the urge to somehow miraculously make myself wake up from a seizure and go to the store and get fucking gifts. If being a mother means, cooking, cleaning, teaching about life, then I am my own mother. I took care of myself.
Then later that day she comes to my room and says
egg donor: You could have said Happy Mother's day.
me: I don't have to do a mother fucking thing
egg donor: Well you're the one who wanted to celebrate holidays, that's why you left the religion."
me: I left your little cult because even at the age of 12 I could see that it was all bullshit.
She didn't say anything after that, guess why? 'cause she left it too! I can't even believe that she would come at me about a fucking holiday when I was barely able to stand up. Then yesterday I'm struggling to get myself some food and she's all
egg donor: I don't know why you won't let me fix something for you, everyone else does. You're so stubborn.
me: because ya'll have to get on the phone and say how tired you are because you HAD to fix me something
she didn't say anything else.
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When I do something for someone, I never mention it again, not to the person and especially not to anyone else.
And if I knew a person was sick, I wouldn't get in their face and stress them out about a holiday that means nothing. I don't know why I let her get to me. I mean this is the woman that repeatedly left her kids and says "I didn't abandon my children." ...I hate when I let people get to me. I try and ignore people but when I'm sick, I just cannot deal with this shit.
I'm not going into my life story but I have been through hell and back and I had no help from anyone and I didn't use drugs, I didn't become a slut, or criminal. I turned out a lot better than other people who have had a life similar to mine. So I get angry and I don't give people gifts on every holiday (because that's what good children do), and I don't trust anyone. This is my life and this is the way I live. I give gifts because I want to not because I have to. I don't need anyone's approval on what kind of person I am. I've got a long way to go before I have the kind of life that I want and there is no one who's opinion is going to make me be fake and pretend that I'm someone I'm not. If I hadn't been so sick, yeah, I probably would have got her a card, but my cards always have a smart ass comment in them, so it's fun for me. But it was not and never will be a priority, she can rewrap the gift I gave her last year since it means so much to her.
If none of this makes sense to you it's because I am feeling very sick, so I'm a little disoriented and staring at this computer is not good for me right now. The sims is the one video game that I can play without a time limit, even when I'm sick because I can stop the back ground from moving, but today even that made me sick. (Ya' know... my neurologist would have a shit-fest if he knew. I'll just keep it a secret between me and anyone with internet access. I couldn't even look at the scene in "Hot Zone" where Shep. overloads the generator. Damn flashing lights.)
When I get this bad, it's usually like this for a while, so if I'm not around you know why. I'll be back, if blogigo is still here when I'm feeling better.
But first, I have to stop by and check on my pookie wookies because I've missed them.
