Planet Nergeedor

Nov 30, 2005 at 03:32 o\clock

ADDICT / Insomina / No way, MJ / Adult Swim / Stargate Ring

by: Nergeedor

Mood: sleepy, lonely, hungry, bored
Listening to: One of the Sims pop songs is stuck in my head

 
You know, most people get addicted to drugs, alcohol, shopping even. But me, what is my latest addiction? The Sims! I played it for about 4 hours today and then I said to myself "I should do something else for a while." ...So I'm eating dinner, watching tv and a commercial comes on for Sims Furniture Store and suddenly I just needed to play The Sims. I mean I had to play it right then...I made a sim of myself and one of Rainbow Sun Francks and guess what? They got married, awwww, ain't that sweet. Then Rainbow got abducted by aliens and when he came back he was in the bathroom throwing up so he may be with child
...Awww!
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I tried to go to sleep four or five times today and nothing happened. I just don't feel so hot and I'm tired...I tried sleeping pills a couple of years ago and even that didn't work. So now I try and bore myself to sleep by watching stupid tv shows but that ain't working either so I have to try something else...But what? A brick to the skull? Ha-Ha.
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Something very weird is going on! My eyes are lighter than they used to be and it looks like I've lost about 10 lbs and my skin has more red in it than brown...Good lawd, I'm turning into Michael Jackson!
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I was thinking that they should make an entire channel for "Adult Swim" I have to wait all day to watch the "good" animated shows, but if there were a channel I could watch when I wanted. I wonder if it's already a channel?
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You know what I want to get a ring made that looks like the Stargate. I wonder how much something like that would cost. I don't wear much jewelry but I'd wear that for sure. It'd be cool to get married inside the Stargate! (Chances are I'd be marrying myself but it's an idea just the same.)
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Nov 29, 2005 at 02:53 o\clock

This and That (notice I've gotten lazy with the titles?)

by: Nergeedor

Mood: lonely
Listening to: Beautiful Disaster

 
The story of my life...All of my games are single player and I only have one controller, no one could play with me even if they wanted to!
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I don't get it! Every one is suddenly trying to hang around me and are asking to hear my songs and read my stories. What the fuck? Has hell frozen over? did the earth stop revolving? ...And because I have no interests in (suddenly after all these years), holding hands, while skipping through the forest singing "kumbaya."... I'm "mean and unforgiving." I don't think they get the fact that I adapted myself to not having them involved in my life and that just because they want something different doesn't mean that I do. It pisses me off that people think they can just walk back into my life because they finally figured out that the crap that the used to do wasn't important and that their kids are, family members are. Well, nice of you all to finally grow the fuck up, but while you were self involved, living out your little melodramas, my life wasn't on pause waiting for you to love or care about me and now that you claim you do, I hate to hurt your little feelings, but it means absolutely nothing to me. Your regrets have no meaning to me...
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Motherfucker! I don't know what the fuck kind of music those people are listening to it's some weird whale noise or something. It kind of sounds like rap...what in the hell? Ha-Ha!
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You know, I didn't curse this much when I was younger. I would occasionally say shit or damn, but now I would guess that I say "motherfucker" at least 25 times a day. And not even to anyone else, inside my head, to myself.
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The Boondocks was hilarious last night! And yes, I've had my very own "nigga moments." Ha-Ha (I'll tell you about some of them another day)
 
Family Guy was also hilarious last night. When Brian said that Peter had his own orbit, I lost it! And sadly I must say that I think my ass might have it's own orbit! Ha-Ha! Good Episode!
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I don't know what happened, last night I was feeling better now today I'm as lonely as ever...Sometimes I think that I am just wasting time hoping for close friendships, love...I don't know, that's the story of my life right? "I don't know" maybe I DO know and I'm just in denial!
 

Nov 28, 2005 at 04:58 o\clock

Bim Yam!

by: Nergeedor

Listening to: Still the fucking Peter Panda Song!

 
Oh my lawd...People were brawling at the stores! They knocked one poor lady over and her wig flew off. I'm sorry but I am laughing my ass off. That's why I get my shopping done in October! Two years ago I did my shopping in April! No kidding! It's not like the shit is free!
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My Sim accidentally WooHooed with her husbands best friend! My bad! Ha-Ha. I guess they'll have to go on Jerry Springer now.
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Speaking of Jerry Springer, where do they find those people? I mean come on, they are just ,I don't know fucked up! ... If the Jerry Springer show called me. I'd tell them "hell no i wont come on your show!" but they don't seem to have a problem finding "dumb asses", oops I mean "guest"
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I'm feeling better, but I still have to get through Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day and my birthday...I'm still thinking up shit for nergeedor Day, The Day The Nerds Dance. Ha-Ha-Ha (in an evil voice)!
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Well, I'm gonna go watch The Boondocks and go to bed.
 

Nov 27, 2005 at 01:50 o\clock

The Usual Chit Chat

by: Nergeedor

Listening to: The Peter Panda Dance, in my head, over and over and over again.

 
If you heard someone screaming "motherfucker" today it was me, I forgot about my stitches when I was in the shower. You know I have a very high tolerance to pain so if I was screaming that means that was some painful shit!
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I saw the trailer for 'Memoirs Of A Geisha' and what little I saw was exactly like the book! I can tell it's gonna be a good one! I can't wait! I think it comes out Dec. 12th...I plan on going to see Aeon Flux next week but I know a lot of little kids are gonna be there and I'm not in the mood to deal with those little heathens, so maybe I'll wait for the dvd, but I want to see it on the big screen...I used to have very little patience now I have none! I'm a lose cannon!
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I was bored to death watching 'High Tension'...I want my three bucks back!
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I think I was a slut in a former life! Ha-ha. All of my Sims dress slutty and "woo hoo" all over town! They've got babies all over the place. It's a mess!... I made a wish and someone died, the thing is I have no clue as to who it was, maybe it was the maid, cause it aint none of the other Sims. I'll know when the house starts to get nasty! I like this as much as "Bustin' Out" but I didn't like the "urbz", still haven't finished it, I hate having to change clothes every time I move. I love sims 2, being able to pay off or gamble with the Grim Reaper is the best thing ever! I'm having a ball!
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That fucking "Peter Panda Dance" song is stuck in my head. GET OUT OF THERE! Don't you hate when that happens?
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I finally got my two favorite Christmas movies, The original Grinch and 'A Christmas Story'! I love those movies, isn't little Cindy Lou Who the cutest thing you've ever seen?
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I'm gonna go eat myself into a stupor and get my Sim on!
(God, I don't feel like cooking anything, "groan")
 
 

Nov 24, 2005 at 06:12 o\clock

Just Thinking Out Loud

by: Nergeedor

I'm on the verge of a complete emotional collapse and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to pull myself together again. I'm trying to push everything back down but...I don't know, the past couple of weeks have been rough, it's the holidays and things that I'm dealing with right now. Everything is coming down on me all at once, the last time things were crazy like this It took me two years to get back some sort of livable life. ..
 
Whenever I start to try and do the things I want to do and things seem like they're gonna work out "this time" I get completely blind-sided by unimaginable things. I can't figure out why I even bother. I've tried so many times to walk away from certain things but I just feel drawn to them, like entertainment...It actually haunts me when I give it up, it calls me. I can't explain it...I've tried very hard to get to a point where I don't feel like something is missing, being alone, but something is always there in the back of my mind. It's seems as though everything that I want is out of reach and when it's almost in my reach, bam...another crisis, another drama, another set back in my life. I wait for things to calm down and just when I think it's safe for me to do what I need to do, something else smacks me in the face, without warning. I can't stand it when people walk around pretending that they care about me and then as soon as they get some "juicy" gossip they run around to talk about it. I'm tired of everything...I've tried therapy and the bitch would just sit there and look at me! I'm like "Hello. Advise me!" I've tried and tried and tried and even on the rare occasions when things work out for me I'm still not happy, I don't think anything will ever satisfy me. The way I see it: You're born. You Live. You die. It doesn't matter what happened in between... And in the end the only thing that is going to matter to anyone who knows me is "Who's paying for the funeral?"...And I've been told that, let me quote exactly:
 
me: I don't need insurance because I don't have kids
person: Well how are we gonna bury you when you die?
 
I plan on out living all of these mother fuckers just to prove a point, if I should happen to die before them, be assured that I will be haunting their asses and having a dandy time doing it...
 
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, I'm in a complete state of, I don't know...I'm disappointed about life, if this is all there is for me...I don't even want to think about that possibility...
 
I'm okay. I'm okay. I'll be fine after I get some rest. I'll feel better tomorrow.

Nov 23, 2005 at 04:07 o\clock

Nada

by: Nergeedor

 
The Devil's Rejects ... You gotta love Rob Zombie for this one!
 
I finally got around to watching Underworld and I said "Wentworth?" like I know him or something, it was okay, very entertaining but not as "amazing" as everyone said.
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See I told you that music execs. are gangsters. I get an email that says "Sony has recalled cds that may down load a virus onto your computer..." and they gave me the info on how to return the cd. I heard this on the news. They (Sony) put a virus on cds so that when people try and copy them or even just play them on their computers it would destroy the computer. The "Big 5" are gonna fall hard...How'd Mariah say it "Bullies in the school yard, when they fall, they fall hard." Music is in a sad state! You can be a singer even if you can't sing!
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Speaking of "Clown" She predicted it! Eminem did fall hard didn't he...daaaaaaaamn karma's a bitch!
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I'm completely disappointed in the world, people, life...I don't even know what I'm doing anymore...Is there anyone out there who is...I don't know what I mean

Nov 22, 2005 at 06:23 o\clock

When Bugs Attack...!

by: Nergeedor

I'm sitting here, minding my own business reading blogs and out of the corner of my eye I see something moving...It was a roach...Oh no, not the cute little roaches you see on bug spray commericals. This thing was huge about and inch and a half long (not an exaggeration!)...And it kept running up on me and shit, so I had to get "gangsta" on his ass! Had he stayed outside where he belongs he would still be alive. I guess the cold drove him in. RIP little buggie. 

Nov 22, 2005 at 05:51 o\clock

Title

by: Nergeedor

 
I can't believe how selfish people are. I had a biopsy Wednesday and somehow it's about everyone else. And on top of people trying to get sympathy for my problem, both Wednesday and Thursday drama was started with me. I have to get away from these people. All I wanted to do today was sleep and play video games and people wont even allow me that. They ask about what went on, not because they are concerned but so they can be the first to "know." That's a big thing in my family, being the first one with gossip. If you ever seen movies of women in small southern towns where they show them calling each other with the "big news." That's exactly how my family are. I have no idea how I ended up with them! I have nothing in common with any of them, I don't relate to any of them. They sit there and say "Oh hey girl how are you, I love you so much," then as soon as the person leaves they get on the phone "You know who just came over here, she know she aint right, blah, blah, blah. I'm different, if someone I don't like comes over here I don't say anything to their asses and if they try and talk to me  tell them I don't like them and not to talk to me. I'd rather someone hurt my feelings then from them to pretend like they like me if they don't...I just can't deal with these people right now...
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I saw previews for Aeon Flux, I would have never thought to cast Charlize Theron ...She looks perfect! I hope the movie is good!
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I feel very out of it right now. I have been sleeping better the past couple of days, so I feel more rested than usual. I don't think I'm used to function on sleep, anyway...
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I'm so bored! I've got books, movies, cds, video games, tv and I'm just not interested in any of it. I want to do something different, or go somewhere different. I can't do the things I want to do right now, but whatever...I just want to be somewhere else right now. "Beam Me Up Scottie"!
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I don't know what's going on but all week every tv channel has been running programs about murders and the explanation for all of them were "He was abused, neglected. Society failed him..." Excuse my French but that is complete bullshit, everyone goes through difficult times that doesn't make them go out and kill people, and then these motherfuckers try and use the "insanity" plea. Insane people don't think that they are insane and wouldn't make that plea. And I can't understand how someone can shoot another person in the back five times and be able to get a plea bargain of second degree murder...I don't think people should get plea bargains or early parole or time off for good behavior...You can kill someone and be out of jail in 5 years but don't rob a bank because you'll be locked up for 70 years, it makes no sense to me! And I'm supposed to be the weird one?
 

Nov 15, 2005 at 05:27 o\clock

Funny / Not With A Ten Foot Pole / Flasher / Thieves/

by: Nergeedor

Mood: not feeling so hot

 
 Well, I'm standing there minding my own business and someone comes up to me, shaking their head from side to side and says:
 
them:"Loolluloollu" 
me: "What in the fuck is wrong with you?"
them: I'm Quagmire
(If you don't know Quagmire is a charter on Family Guy and he moves his head like a chicken and says "Gigiddy,Gigiddy, Gigiddy") This was some funny shit. I cracked up!
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Things I wont Touch:
 
Anything from "Subs-n-Stuff" You know putting a sub shop right next door to an animal hospital and then calling it stuff, is a little gross!
 
An Ouija board, I have enough demons in my life without bringing up some new ones.
 
A man w first words to me are "I'm a good guy", that's the number one sign  that he's an asshole
...to be continued
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The Sim I'm playing with now is a flasher! When she moves to a new house she's topless in the car and when she gets in the hot tub her left boob is out...Talk about a glitch!
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This guy was on the news talking about identity theft. When someone uses a stolen card he sends them a copy of "Catch Me If You Can" and a book about identity theft. I love him for that! That's kind of like what
I do to mail scammers.(I send them crazy replies) I was thinking of starting a web site and putting all of the scam letters I saved on there so people would be aware. I mean this is where being a skeptic really comes in handy, I know some people fall for it or these ass holes wouldn't do it any more.
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I'm a mess. yep. Going back to bed...
 
 
 
 
 

Nov 14, 2005 at 08:28 o\clock

This and That

by: Nergeedor

 
Quirks. I have a lot of unusual quirks and because of it people think that I'm weird:
 
I can't watch a movie from the middle if I haven't seen it already.
 
It's hard for me not to finish a movie. I have to see the end. (Someone bought me about ten movies from those bins that dollar stores have and one of the movies was a porn! And she said "Oh my God I'm so sorry!" pause, "Why are you still watching it?" My response was, "Well hell, I have to see the ending now." She flipped out and was saying "I'm gonna call the store because, what if some little kid picked that movie?")
 
I read and write backwards or I switch the letters around. Sometimes it looks like gibberish to people but I can read it clearly. (I spent waaaaaay too much time alone as a kid!) I have a very hard time with numbers, I used to make (what do you call it when you make a code by replacing the numbers or letters?) Codes and now sometimes I still use this one particular numbers one, I don't know why but I give people the wrong phone number a lot. Maybe I do that shit  subconsciously? I don't know, this is what happens when you don't interact with humans as a child, you just sit around all day thinking shit up. Ha-Ha (I've had to change things on my blog a couple of times, cause I don't notice it until I get bored and read things that I've done it!)
 
I use massive amounts of lotion.
 
(I don't know why people think this is weird, but) I look at every bite of food before I eat it. I don't know why this is funny. Shit, if you grew up in a roach infested house you'd look to make sure too! Those motherfuckers would parachute from the ceiling and shit. I'd wake up and feel something crawling on me and I'd just grab it and throw it across the room and go right back to sleep.
 
I write in the dark.
 
I sleep with cds, books, my song/poetry book and a little mini strobe light (so I can see when I need to) in my bed.
 
Okay I'll be here all day with this but you get the picture
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What to do with Child Molesters-- (some more of my nifty ideas)
 
Instead of testing products on innocent animals test shit on them. It's better to know how humans respond to things anyway.
 
Let boxers use them to train.
 
Put some kind of internal tazer in them so if they get with in 100 feet of a child they get an automatic jolt and the cops are electronically notified
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Things I wonder about:
 
If you wet a furby does it turn into a grimlin? (Furbys are some creepy looking fuckers!)
 
Why do people go to marriage therapists who aren't married and/or are divorced? If their shit didn't work out how can they help you?
 
How can someone sing an entire song off key and have it be a number one single?
 
Why do celebrities go to "celebrity night spots" then run from the paparazzi? They know the paparazzi are gonna be at those places. I think Patty Labelle said it best "If you don't want to be seen, then keep your ass at home." Those were her exact words! I'm not exaggerating! You gotta love her! It's different when they are out shopping and crap but going to "The Ivy" and sitting outside, then getting pissed off about them taking pictures of you is just plain stupid. You know you're gonna have to deal with it, so if you don't feel like you can handle it that day, STAY HOME!...So many days I have stayed home because I knew if I went out and someone started shit with me I'd get locked up!
 
Why is Vin Diesel always hanging from ropes and chains in his movies?
 
Why am I here?
 
Why do people sign up for the army then act shocked when a war starts and they get deployed? Hello. That's your job, you signed up for it!
 
Why wont they let Gay people in the military? The way I see it is, our military is voluntary so if they want to go, you'd better let 'em, 'cause I ain't signing up for that shit.
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Yesterday CN played "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and today they played "Small Soldiers" two of my favorite movies. I must have watch WFRR a million times when I was kid...And On SS when they tie up the little boy and The major said "You've got two choices, you can be a casualty or a survivor, the choice is yours." That's the funniest shit!
 
Have you seen the Boondocks? I've been reading it for years, John Witherspoon is the voice of the grandfather. It's hilarious! I love animated shows that make fun of racism. They way I see it, either I'm gonna laugh about it or cry about it. I cry about enough bullshit so I'd rather laugh...That's why I like Family Guy so much, they make fun of every one and every thing (and they make a lot of references to tv and movies!) no one safe.
 
 
 
 

Nov 13, 2005 at 07:52 o\clock

Psychotic Menstrual Syndrome!

by: Nergeedor

Mood: A MAD WOMAN!

 
See I told ya! I most defiantly have Psychotic Menstrual Syndrome! Today I went on a complete rampage, I am still angry beyond reason. Lets see what I did...Someone came over I didn't greet them or anything, I just opened the door and went back to bed...I went on a 20 minute rant about Eminem and 50 Cent...I started a blog just so I could go off on "America From The Inside"...I slammed doors, threw dishes, threw mail...The funny thing is, I was mad yesterday and the day before and didn't realize it was PMS. I never realize it until I'm flipping out and think "Oh Lawd, I'm completely insane."...I mean I think it's best for me to stay to myself right now because someone will get punched in the face tonight. Ha-Ha...Wow, they should send PMSing women into combat, they haven't seen blood shed (no pun intended) until a bunch of cramping, bloated women are fighting it out! Here's what my now delete blog to "America From The Inside" said...
 
"It amazes me they way people come to America and complain about how horrible it is and how much they hate it, and stay! Who the hell has a gun to your head making you stay here? I mean everyone has complaints about their country or countries that they are living in at the moment, but if they're isn't anything positive about this country why do you stay? The financial opportunities? Because you're a terrorist and your leaders sent you here as an operative? Obviously if you can travel the world, you can afford to leave, right? Or do you stay so you can go around talking about how much you hate it here? Wow you are an amazing person! You have talked to every single American and know that we are all ignorant and clueless about the rest of the world. How do you do it? What's your secret to knowing what every single American thinks? ... America has it's problems just like every other country on the planet, but if you are so miserable here...Well, you don't have to be "inside" of America now do you? The news? Ha-Ha! The news is gossip, how many reportedly factual news stories have been retracted? You're more likely to get the facts from the tabloids! ...I mean I'm just a stupid American (who has an IQ of 156) but it seems to me that if a place is horrible then your life goal should be to leave. I mean that's my goal, to leave this city...Common sense told me that I don't like it so I should leave..."
...The name of the blog was "Who forced you or something" And the entry was titled "Forced to Be inside America"...I'm gonna take a long shower, eat something, and play Butcher Bay or something where I can take my agression out...

Nov 13, 2005 at 03:34 o\clock

Bitchy Jibberish

by: Nergeedor

Mood: grumpy

 
(You don't have permission to call me a bitch, that's a beat down waiting to happen!)    
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 I think I got bitten by a one fanged Vampire. I woke up with a bump on my neck, I was pale and weak and then I just, slept and slept and slept...I think it'd be cool to get bitten by a Master. Shit, I'm already damned so that part shouldn't be any trouble. Ha-Ha
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Wiggers...I hate 'em. If you don't know what a wigger is I'll tell you. It's a white person who grew up in suburbia, whose parents have a lot of money, that one day wakes up and decides "hmmm, it'd be fun to be poor and black", so they watch all the videos and movies and tv shows then they take all of the stereotypical behaviors that they see and walk around talking ignorant ass shit, saying how the grew up poor and are thugging now to survive...White people who grew up in the poor black neighborhoods and act like that aren't wiggers, they're just ignorant! Ha-Ha, yeah I said it!
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THE ENTERTAINMENT BATTLES...Coming to you pre-taped live from Planet Nergeedor...Now let's join our host "Ina Badmood" as she hands out our awards...
 
Black eyed peas Vs. Wild Orchid
 
WILD ORCHID! Wild Orchid had some great vocals! I hated the Black eyed peas before they put "half-dressed Fergie" in there and I still hate 'em...I mean come on, have you heard "Humps"...They wasted money recording the song, they could have just made a five minute video of Fergie and a bunch of women shaking their asses.
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Singing Vs. Belting
 
SINGING! Anyone can go to a vocal coach and learn to belt as some singers who are around now did and are thought to be great singers. Belters in general have very weak voices and they usually belt it out for two minutes of a song instead of just using it for an accent like singers.
You can only listen to belting for so long before it gets annoying. That's why I like Mariah Carey so much, she could belt every single song but she doesn't, a lot of her stuff is very mellow...
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Snoop Dogg Vs. Snoop Dogg
 
Snoop Dogg ... you can't compare him with anyone he's one of the few rappers who does their own things and don't follow the crowd and his voice is very soothing, I don't care for a lot of his lyrics but I love his voice!
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Ford Vs. Ronin
 
FORD...Of course, he was the original and when he and Ronin fought even though he was much smaller than Ronin , Ford did his thing, then the motherfucker jumped into the wraith beam...I can't understand how anyone can, not love Ford! (I like Ronin too, though)
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Star Wars Vs. Spaceballs
 
Spaceballs!...I never really got into Star Wars but whatever...
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Alien Vs. Predator --Vs.-- Jason Vs. Freddy
 
Alien Vs. Predator...only because I think that the Predators in that movie were sexy...if it wasn't for that I would have said neither.
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If getting oral sex can make a President get the economy to where Bill Clinton had it, then I say change the name from the "Oval Office" to the "Hoval Office" and put some hos on the pay roll...Bush has ran this country in to the ground...And now people who voted for him, not once, but twice, are saying that he needs to be removed from office. Oh hell no! You voted for him now stand behind the man you chose TWICE to run this country!
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I wonder if you can tell that I'm in a shitty little mood today...How'd Dan on the Roseanne show say it? ..."Your mother likes to spread her misery (or anger or sadness or something) around and it's our job to deal with it until she feels better..." not an exact quote but today I'm not dealing with anyone's bullshit and things that annoy me that I usually ignore will be dealt with harshly...I'm not in the mood today...
 
I'm gonna go play with Blackwido she has about 12 graves now...she loves 'em and kills 'em! Ha-Ha. (And she has two kids in reform school, and one whose on the way there is she doesn't start studying.) I'll feel better after a bit of scheming and getting people to fall into her web! HA! HA! HA! (in an evil voice)
 
 
 
 
 

Nov 11, 2005 at 02:52 o\clock

Bring back Shannon / Health Spas / My anger

by: Nergeedor

Mood: pissed off
Listening to: my dumb ass neighbor's music

 
Which ever Baldwin (can't remember his name) brother that is that's hosting Scare Tactics now needs to go back to xtreme sports for Jesus and they need to bring Shannon Dorthey (*sp) back...he's so dry, no flavor at all!
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I can't understand why they let child molesters out of jail. I don't believe that there is any way possible that a person can be rehabilitated from that shit. I've got all of nifty ideas of what to do with them...
 
Put tracking devices in them (in places where it can't be removed, like the Runner!)), then take their asses to an island somewhere and drop 'em out of planes, no need to waste fuel on landing...if they don't survive the fall, who gives a fuck! And if they don't learn to fish or something, that's their problem not ours.
 
I said that they should let, I think her name was Jessica Lunsford or something, they should let her dad do to that asshole what he did to his daughter, put him in a trash bag alive and bury his ass. What ever happened to an eye for an eye?  ...I can't believe how prisoners are treated, they've got air conditioning, heat, hot meals, computers  
...someone wrote a letter saying that he was suffering because the air conditioner in the prison isn't working and it's violating his rights...after I stopped screaming about not having air conditioning myself and Jesus not having it, I realized that jail is a forced health spa (How'd Tombs put it "...health spas for waffle eating pussies.") ...Okay, I've seen all the documentaries on how bad it is in prison, but they've got it better that a lot of people...
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Sometimes my anger scares me because it comes out of no where. One minute I'm okay and the next I'm in a complete rage. I know why I'm like this, but that doesn't make it any better. I try and have a normal life and walking around like I'm doing okay and sometimes I am okay and then bam! for no reason I start thinking about things and I get so angry! Sometimes when I get angry like that I'll exercise until I'm exhausted, but most of the time I'll watch a movie to distract myself, or play a video game... Time heals old wounds? ...not if you're cut this deep.

Nov 10, 2005 at 03:18 o\clock

Blah, Blah, Blah...

by: Nergeedor

 
I was standing up close to my computer and looked at the screen and it looked like Atlantis was on fire, I leaned back and it looked normal, I leaned forward again and it again looked like it was on fire. I have the wall paper with Ford (not Ronin) where the team is standing in front of the Gate and Atlantis is inside. the gate...I'm probably the only person that's fascinated by this!
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I still can't get over how they fucked up the potential XXX franchise, no one knows why the hell they couldn't wait for Diesel to finish TCOR...Dumb asses!  They should have gotten rid of the actor not the character! They could have had a James Bond kind of franchise on their hands but nooooooooo, they...ewww never mind. They just pissed me off with that one.
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Someone asked me what I'd grab if the house were on fire...Everything that I have, movies, cds, computer, clothes I can get back! I'd grab my Flash Drive, my song lyric and my ass. Those are the only things I feel are irreplaceable.
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Okay, I take back what I said... When Kelly Clarkson won American Idol, I said something like "Who the fuck got drunk and voted for her?" (I would have said the same thing about Justin)...So her new cd isn't anything that I haven't heard vocally or musically before. But I love the lyrics of about five of the songs especially, 'Because Of You' some of the lyrics...
 
"...Because of you, I never stray to far from the sidewalk, Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt, Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, But everyone around me..."
 
"...My heart can't possibly break, When it wasn't even whole to start with..."
 
"...I was so young, You should have known better than to lean on me..."
 
"...Because I don't know how to let anyone else in...I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty..." By Kelly Clarkson
 
You can do an internet search for the rest of the lyrics (The reason I won't write entire lyrics here is so I won't get sued! That's the last thing  need and that's why I make sure everything is in quotations and that the singer's name is clearly written! Ha-Ha me and my paranoia!)
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Someone said that I was crazy because I said "It's not hard to image that I've had a shitty life. Hell, I was born with three strikes against me, I'm poor, black and a woman..."
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I had a very weird dream. I dreamt I went to a fortune teller and asked who I'd marry. She started chanting and smoke started rising and then she told me to look and I leaned forward and saw a computer screen. The website page was of a blog and the owner's name started with J, I can't remember the full name...Any of you male bloggers out there name starts with J? "Call me!" Julio is that you boy? Well hell, get your sexy ass over here then. Ha-Ha, just kidding, but it was a very weird dream.

Nov 9, 2005 at 05:05 o\clock

Dumb asses / The worlds best stress reducer!

by: Nergeedor

Mood: bored

 
Have You heard about this? In Florida some Muslims went to the school board to ask for a religious holiday off and instead of giving it to them, the school board got rid of all religious holidays except xmas!...It always annoys me when people from up north come here and say "The South is what you drive through to get to FL. They have no idea! I live in what I call "The most racist city on earth" (I say this in my most cheerful dramatic 'ring master' voice)...They have this diversity / tolerance program here now and I saw the commercial on tv for it and every single person in the commercial was white except for this pitiful looking Puerto Rican girl...The look on her face was saying "Mommy how much longer do I have to be here!"...anyway...
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I've been playing Sims 'Bustin Out in freeplay mode...I created this one charter called 'Blackwido Widow'...she lives in a spooky castle and she marries men and moves in with women, has sex with them once, then she kills them and puts their graves in her garden. Then she has a seance to rid the ghost from the house. She has a special room where she kills them at (well actual I make them kill themselves by lighting the fire place with a rug to close to it...) next to the killing room she has a warehouse full of crates that no one knows what the contents are! Sometimes these are used to start the fire...she now has one kid by her last husband! I had to switch houses to make more people for her to kill, she has three graves so far...I told a couple people about this and they were saying..."you know this is how serial killers start, we need to do an intervention on you." and I replied that "if I was going to be a murder lots of people would be dead by now...In my opinion it helps me get rid of my anger and rage. Those motherfuckers who kill and say a video game made them do it are just digging a hole trying to get their asses out of trouble...It's a great stress reliever!

Nov 8, 2005 at 02:36 o\clock

Screaming Out

by: Nergeedor

SCREAMING OUT

 

Chorus:

Lost in a world of her own,

Time passes slowly

And she’s screaming out

HOLD ME

 

Verse 1:

She’s so starved for affection

Begging and pleading

But always ending up with rejection

She’s so confused

Doesn’t know what to do

She can’t help but think

She’s being used

 

Chorus:

Lost in a world of her own,

Time passes slowly

And she’s screaming out

HOLD ME

 

Verse 2:

So eager, for someone to need her

She serves herself up

And they all eat her

They pick her bones clean

Until there’s nothing left on her skeleton but a glossy sheen

She’s so confused

Doesn’t know what to do

 

Chorus:

Lost in a world of her own,

Time passes slowly

And she’s screaming out

HOLD ME

 

Verse 3:

Look beyond her eyes

What do you see

Nothing

Her face trembles like leaves

Blowing in the wind

Hollow she stands

Hollow with empty hands

She cries again and again

No one loves me

 

Chorus:

Lost in a world of her own,

Time passes slowly

And she’s screaming out

HOLD ME

 

COPYRIGHT August 2005 (my shit is in fact copyrighted and if I should hear it anywhere, that's your ass!)

Nov 7, 2005 at 06:31 o\clock

Answer / Jibberish

by: Nergeedor

Mood: Rapidly Declining...Into Emptiness
Listening to: Soul Suckers by AL

The answer to yesterday's question... I drank throat-coat, did vocal warm ups and rehearsed a couple of songs...did you guess correctly?------------------------------------------- 

I don't understand ebay! Most of the "Memorabilia" are cheap imitations, like the "riddick goggles!" for 125 bucks...I wouldn't pay that much even if they were authentic, I don't care if Jesus wore them!...Then they have obviously homemade movie set items... I love how people have taken photos of celebs from the internet, shellacked them on wood and are calling it memorabilia...I guess my untrusting nature is what forces me to look at everything under a microscope...Good for me, bad for business...You should read some of these scam letters I get. I save all of my junk mail, because it's funny as hell and I respond to a lot of them. Like the psychic who wanted to sell me her powers for 19.99...I wrote her back and said something like "I didn't put my name on this because you're psychic and know who I am"... Hey if they are gonna annoy me, I feel I have every right to annoy them back!...I never put my name when I respond! The church groups that ask for "seed offerings" I fill out their forms with shit like:
Name: Lucifer P. Satan
Address: 666 Hell's Pit, Hades...anyway
 
I love the letters I get from secret societies that have money for me but I have to pay them money first, to show that I trust them...I couldn't sleep at night if I robbed people like that. Fucking Assholes!
 
I should start my own secret society...that's be fun! (Yes, I'm this bored!)
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The Soup -- another clip show that I love, it cracks me up!
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I haven't been sleeping at all. I sleep for two hours at a time and then I'm wide awake.
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I said I'd tell you about being chased by animals...
 
1. I'm at the beach, minding my own business eating potato chips. I drop one and a couple of birds flew down and started fighting over it. The next thing I know dozens (well maybe 10 or 11) birds are swooping down near my head, so I dropped the chips and ran into the water and they went crazy over that bag!
 
2. We heard something in the walls, figured it was a rat (we don't have cute little mice), so we put out poison The power went out, I go down stairs with a flashlight and two red eyes are staring at me in the beam and then suddenly the motherfucker starts charging at me. The poison didn't kill it, it just got high! Ha-Ha.
 
3. I go and check the mail one day and I saw a few bees flying around, nothing unusual. I open the mail box and suddenly they're every where so I drop the mail and haul ass but one caught me and I swear I thought I had been shot or something when It stung me. I've never seen that many bees in my life and I don't want to see anymore.
 
4. Dogs...I've been chased by so many dogs. There used to be a wild pack of strays around here and I had to walk to the freaking bus stop and they would let me pass. They were thugs! People say "oh you shouldn't run." I would love to meet the nutcase who is going to stand there while a pack of evil dogs are running full speed towards them. I wasn't trying to wait and see what they were gonna do! I've only got one ass and I'd very much like to keep it!... I would however...I'm gonna stop! I don't know what's wrong with me lately! I can't believe I was gonna say that!...I think it's the lack of sleep.
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Things I say for no reason:
 
Sake' (not sure if it's spelled right)
 
What the deuce? (from family guy)
 
The same thing we do every night Pinky...no, try and take over the world (from Pinky and The Brain)
 
It's a sick sad world (from Daria)
 
Day one Vivian, day damn one. (from Fresh Prince)
 
I didn't come here to play who's the better killer (from TCOR)
 
That's a rumor! We do not know if I slept with Lady Eloise, I had a chitchat with Lady Eloise. (from Boomerang)
 
...Then I'd say you's a Got Damn Lie, 'cause that shit never happened! (from Chatline, or room?)
 
I consider myself a good judge of people and that's why I don't like any of them... (from the Roseanne show)
 

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Nov 6, 2005 at 03:12 o\clock

Completely Random

by: Nergeedor

Mood: crunchy
Listening to: Amos Lee

 
Let's Play A  Game -- remember I said that The Bible is 99% metaphorical? Well if I had done what I did this morning, back in the day, and someone described it the way I'm going to describe it...I would have been burned or drowned or hung...Anyway I want you to guess what I'm talking about...
 
    The evil witched slowly sipped the steaming potion she had just brewed. She stood, feet planted firmly on the floor, chanting a rhytimic spell, softly at first, then as she felt her powers increase, her voice began to smoothly roll the chant from deep within. She felt stronger...the spell had begun to work. Soon they would all be drawn to her, like bees to honey. Yes, she thought, They will worship me! They will bow before me and my spell will overtake them. They'll be mine!
 
Now, what on earth was I doing this morning? ...See! It's all about people's interpretation of things!
 
    That one passage in the bible that says "...sin causes illness..." is so misinterpreted! It doesn't mean that people who have cancer or aids or kidney failure are evil and are being punished! It means that if you do something you know is wrong...let me put it this way. If you're married and cheat on your spouse, you'll start to feel guilty, then worry, then you'll start to think well maybe hubby or wife has done the same thing. You'll be terrified of being found out and of losing everything you care about. The stress and worry will consume your life, you wont have a moments rest because, constantly you will be thinking of what you did...that is what that passage means...Why is it that I see things from a completely different angle? People look at me like I'm insane sometimes!
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A Few of My Favorite Celebrity Quotes (most aren't exact quotes, but you'll get it)!
 
Rob Zombie (on mtv's cribs): You'll notice that there is no water in the hot tub. I don't consider sitting in boiling water fun...you're cooking!
 
Ellen: How'd you gain weight for the role?
Vin Diesel: I ate a pint of ice cream every night.
Ellen: How long did it take you to lose the weight?
Vin Diesel: A month. (or maybe 2 weeks, can't remember)
Ellen: and how'd you do it?
Vin Diesel: I stopped eating ice cream every night.
Audience (mostly women): hissing angrily
 
David Letterman (on his hair loss): Maybe I should go bald.
Vin Diesel: I think you should. (The look on his face when he said this was funny as hell! It's like I could tell he was thinking "Dave you know you look silly.") You gotta love Diesel!
 
Hal Sparks (on scientology): ...and then they have that soul nintendo
 
Oprah (talking to a country singer): It's good that you came on here though...so people could see that celebrities are messed up too...You know you're really messed up don't you?
 
Rick James: You would have to be out of your mind to go and grind your feet into someone's couch. See I never did things just to do them...Yeah I remember grinding my feet into Eddies couch...(Why'd you do it?) 'Cause Eddie could buy a new one!
 
(on some award show)...And to the girl backstage who thought I was someone else. I'm Rick James Bitch!
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The Phantom vs. Raoul...I would have went with The Phantom! He's that fire! Raoul is a little bitch. The Phantom had mad balls! ...I love it when Raoul goes and puts that music box on Christine's grave and The Phantom has already been there!
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'The Fallen' is coming out on DVD...it wasn't that good, but it cracked me up when the dude was biting the ankles of the men, then later he bit the mummy's ankle and dust and shit was all in his mouth and the other guy says "you've got to learn a better way to fight." (earlier in the movie before he bit his first ankle) He said something like "I know how to fight, I had five sisters." That's not an exact quote but you get the picture.
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I saw that 'sauna belt' commercial again. If I thought for one second that that crap worked I'd have those bitches strapped all over my body! On my arms, by stomach, my thighs, my butt, my breast...I'd make 'em rich!
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I mentioned on my numbers entry that there are five bloggers who crack me up. I read a lot of blogs but there are some people who are just hilarious!...Here they are:
 
Drenched N Wine - Sapphire
Jackie's Thoughts --  Wintewonderland
Weblog of Ghostgirl --Ghostgirl
Stuff -- Apathetic
Fading The Surface Noise -- MattelMichele (couldn't take the prepend crap huh? Ha-Ha!)
 
Don't drink while reading Ghostgirl! I spit water everywhere once! I don't even remember what was so funny, but you gotta love her!
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Do you know this bitch looked at me and asked (with an attitude) if I wanted a senior ticket! So I gave her my "I will cut you motherfucker" look and she said "Oh I'm sorry." and wouldn't make eye contact anymore. Now If you saw the way I look, you'd be calling her a bitch too. I don't even look 30 let alone 60!...The things I have to deal with. Why do chicks treat me that way?...Haters!
 

Nov 5, 2005 at 04:08 o\clock

Matrix / It's not him... / Rainbow / Pay attention to the lyrics!

by: Nergeedor

Mood: Hungry and Sleepy
Listening to: Stargate Sg-1

 
For the past week and a half The Matrix has been changing several times a day! (If you've been in a coma and haven't seen the Matrix I mean that I've been experiencing Dejavu several times a day)...It's really weird! Oh! Shocking huh? Something about me that's weird.
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People will never understand me! They ask why I have so many photos of Diesel on my wall...Hello! I have photos of Riddick, Xander, Shaun and only 2 of Diesel...people have no idea what I mean by that! I see Riddick not Diesel, I see Xander not Diesel, I see Shaun not Diesel...no one gets it!...I can't even joke around with people because they take everything I say seriously! I should play poker, I could really do some damage there...speaking of poker...
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On Rainbow Sun Francks' Blog (If it's really his blog, you know how skeptical I am!) he said he wanted to go play poker with that eye and take of his shades after the game has started! And there's this amazing picture of him in his "Crazy Lt. Ford" make-up...Gotta love that eye! If the Sci-fi channel doesn't bring him back...ooh wee, I'm gonna flip out. Obviously they brought in Ronin to try and replace him...but it's not the same. I've adored Ford since he kept trying to name everything!...I changed my wall paper to The Atlantis cast, now chicks are molesting Rainbow...and saying Daaaamn! I'm sure he felt 'dirty' today and didn't know why. Ha-Ha!
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I've never understood why after seeing the video for "Honey (by Mariah Carey)" people were shocked by her outfit and because she had on a bikini...Obviously they didn't pay attention to the lyrics! Okay here are some lines:
 
"...And it's just like honey, when your love comes over me..."
 
"...It's like honey when it washes over me, you know sugar never ever was so sweet...Don't you see every night and day, I can hardly wait for another taste of honey..."
 
"Honey I can't describe, how good it feels inside"
 
" I can't be elusive, with you honey, because it's blatant, that I'm feeling you, And it's too hard for me to leave abruptly, 'cause you're the only thing I want to do"
 
Okay maybe I'm just perverted or something Ha-Ha!...but then think about the lyrics for Heartbreaker, Boy, Loverboy, Fantasy, Melt Away, Say Something...And they way the talk about the Rainbow album cover, there is no way anyone can misunderstand the lyrics for 'Bliss"! If you haven't heard Bliss do an internet search for the lyrics, The album cover was tame in the light of Bliss. Ha-Ha! I Love the song though!

Nov 4, 2005 at 03:29 o\clock

Numbers

by: Nergeedor

Mood: take a wild guess

 
Numbers:
 
number of blogs that constantly make me laugh out loud...5
 
number of times I've been held...2 (and I was hysterically crying both times)
 
number of times I've seen Pitch Black...about once a week for the past three years so umm...162? (sometimes more so maybe 200)
 
number of times I've been 'stood up'...countless (I don't even bother to get dressed any more!)
 
number of times people have tried to set me up on a blind date...15
 
number of times I agreed to a blind date...0
 
number of times I've thought about suicide...100s
 
number of suicide attempts...1.5 (thats 1 1/2 not 15!)
 
number of times I've been told not to waste my talent...countless
 
number of family members who've told me not to waste my talent...0
 
number of times I've been mean to someone because I was having a bad day...countless
 
number of years I've been happy...4 or 5
 
number of books I've read...countless
 
number of times I beat the video game "Iron Sword"...25 to 30
 
number of coins I've saved...over 150 dollars worth
 
number of times I've looked and someone and thought "Why do I even bother with you"...20
 
number of times I've tried other career goals...5
 
number of days I've gone without speaking (in a row)...30 to 40
 
number of times I've laughed when no one else did...countless
 
number of times a man has given me something for valentines day...0
 
number of times I've given a man anything, any day...4
 
number of times I was suspended from school...1 (very funny story, I'll tell you some other time)
 
number of times I've told someone something personal and regretted it...every time, including this blog!
 
number of times I've been afraid to look into the mirror...countless
 
number of times I've laughed until my stomach ached...countless
 
number of times I've held someone's hand...0
 
number of times I've been kissed...a few
 
number of times I've returned a kiss...0
 
number of times I've thought "What the fuck did I just do"...many, many  times
 
number of jobs I had that I liked...1
 
number of job applications I've put in...100s
 
number of times I've been in love...0
 
number of men who told me they loved me...20 to 30 (they were just trying to "get some")
 
number of men who meant it when they said they loved me...1(maybe but he was psycho so it doesn't count!)
 
number of times I've hung up the phone on some one...countless
 
number of telemarketers I've 'told off'...10 or 11
 
number of times I've thought about deleting this blog...several
 
number of times I've started to comment on someone else's blog and erased it...20 to 25
 
number of times I've asked for Vin Diesel as a gift when some asked what I wanted...10 or 11
 
number of times someone told me I was worse than a man because I said "I don't want to date him, I just want to..." (Okay I wont go there today, but seriously why would I want to date someone I don't know, just because I like their movies? He could be the worlds biggest asshole for all we know...anyway)...4 or 5
 
number of times I've pretended to like a gift when I truly didn't...countless (there are 3 people who buy me things and I don't want to seem unappreciative but the things they buy are so bizarre! I wonder if they know me at all)
 
number of times I've explained my actions to some one...0
 
number of times Lt. Ford has moved...20 to 30
 
number of times I've been day dreaming and have tripped or walked into walls...sadly quite a few
 
number of times my doggy made me laugh...countless (I miss her so much!)
 
number of times I've been chased by an animal...4 (I defiantly have to tell you more about this, it's funny as hell!)
 
number of times I've felt better after writing my blog...countless
 
anyway...I'm bored with this now...