Planet Nergeedor

Everywhere I go people stare at me! I don't know why. When I was younger I was always paranoid that something was hanging out of my nose or something like that. It creeps me out. They don't glance at me they stare almost like they've seen a ghost or something. Maybe I look like someone that died, but that can't be the case because people stare at me when I go out of town also. And people just come up to me and start talking like they've known me my entire life. Once this woman just walks up to me and tells me how her husband beats her. People are always touching me too! I was standing in the grocery store and this chick walks by me and starts rubbing on my arm saying how soft my skin was. I can see why men would do that but chicks do it more than men! I don't know what's going on. Anyway...

 

Prison Break

I saw Wentworth Miller in "The Human Stain" and thought he was great. When I heard about Prison Break I decided to watch it. I LOVE IT! There's something about his character that's almost robotic in thinking, he forgets the human element. And the man who plays his brother was on a Fox show last season or the season before that called John Doe, I like it but of course since I liked it, it got canceled. Well, I'm not exactly sure but I think that's him.

 

BB6

If you heard someone screaming at the top of their lungs it was me trying to send subliminal message to Ivette telling her to evict April. I was screaming again during HOH for Janelle to win. I'm so glad she did. Now she just needs to make it to the final 2 with April. This is the only reality show that I have got wrapped up in! I can't miss an episode or season. When other people are acting the same way about survivor or American idol I look at them like they are crazy but as soon as BB starts I plan my life around a reality show for 3 months. It's insanity! Ha-Ha.

I used to tell people what I wanted to do with my life when they asked but I would get such a negative reaction that I stopped. Now I tell people crazy things like "I want to be a serial killer" or "I want to be 'the queen of the damned'" and I get the same reaction! When I was younger I couldn't understand why people (my family mainly) would try and crush my dreams now that I'm older I see that they wanted to be athletes, dancers, singers, and writers but they didn't do anything about. And because I try to make my dreams come true they feel bitter. That is why they don't support me. My entire life they have told me how much better than me they were and their kids were. In their eyes I'm not supposed to be anything except what they told me I would be. When I was a kid they'd tell me how I was going to end up on drugs, pregnant and blah, blah, blah and everything they wished for me has now happened to their kids. Karma is a Bitch! Be careful of what you wish on little kids. I don't think God likes that very much. Down to the letter the things that people said to me when I was a kid has happened to them or to their kids. I didn't realize this until recently. Almost every girl that I went to school with that called me fat, is fat. The ones who aren't fat are crack heads and the ones who aren't crack heads are in and out of jail. Every Guy that told me I was ugly has tried to get with me and I look exactly the same! It's crazy!

Here is a little life tip: If you're already feeling lonely don't, I repeat, DON'T watch "The Notebook." I have been bawling all day. If a psychiatrist saw me now I'm sure he'd/she'd lock me up somewhere "for my own good." And then if you're already sobbing over "The Notebook" don't watch "Ladder 49" afterward. I'm an emotional wreck. Those two movies will go on my list of "movies I must watch alone because they make me cry." I don't like for anyone to see my girlie side or my human side for that matter. Ha-Ha!

Movies I've watched recently:

 

Koma -- Based on that urban legend where the person wakes up in a hotel bath tub that is filled with ice with their kidney removed. It reminded me of Saw in a way. I loved it! It was very interesting and amusing(, but it's easy to figure out).

 

Monster In Law -- It had some funny scenes and it amused me. It was okay

 

Spanglish -- amusing, funny at times, cute story

 

Constantine -- I LOVED IT. Keanu Reeves isn't one of my favorite actors. He has no emotion in his voice, he's completely mono tone but he keeps getting these amazing roles.

 

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle -- I laughed, it served it's purpose which was to distract me from my life. I enjoyed myself.

 

Coach Carter -- I liked it, I was so glad that they didn't win in the end because that is how real life is.

 

 

Hide And Seek -- Dakota Fanning is not a child actor. She is an actor. I loved this movie and it's been a long while since I've watched a movie and haven't figured out the ending within the first 20 minutes. I really liked it!

 

Beauty Shop -- I was completely disappointed in this movie. It wasn't funny at all and I felt like I was re-watching Nora's Hair Salon or Hair Show

 

Guess Who -- We all know how I feel about remakes but this was actually okay.

 

Real Women Have Curves -- I wanted to punch her mother in the face.  I liked it. 

 

High Fidelity -- I loved it. And not just because John Cusack is in it. (though I adore him). I'd like to read the book now!

 

40 Days And 40 Nights -- I cracked up. It was very funny and cute

Stupid Nightmares

I have had terrible insomnia my entire life and you think that when I finally fall asleep I'd stay asleep, but no. Not me. I keep having stupid nightmares. I just woke up shaking and drenched in sweat. I dreamed someone sent me a bomb and I was trying to defuse it myself. I went to sleep (in my dream) and woke up in a dark apartment and I was screaming "fuck you ass hole, come and get me, motherfucker..." and a man dressed like Ryu Hayabusa came up behind me and shot me in the head....And here I am now, awake. (I have a lot of dreams where I get killed. I dreamed once that Mr. Smith was chasing me and when he caught me finally he unzipped his face and it was Brittney Spears and she shot me. I have strange dreams a lot too. I keep dreaming that Vin Diesel and Riddick are standing in a corner whispering to each other and when I walk towards them the stare at me and then everyone in the room stares at me. And I feel embarrassed. In real life I don't get embarrassed so it's weird to dream it. Then I wake up and say "What the fuck?"

 

Bitch

This fucking bitch who is in China sends me an email that says something like " I was very sorry to hear about the Hurricane. America response was like Japan's when blah, blah, blah happened. The U.S. is worse than Japan. I would never want to live in The U.S." She said something about The U.S donations and that The U.S. is not advanced. Basically she bashed America to an American. I was so livid, I don't really remember what I wrote back. I'll have to read my sent mail to find out. But I do remember saying something like " The facts you stated are not facts but gossip and don't bother to respond to this email because I don't want to waste my time reading your response because I know it will be ignorant." First of all if you want to have a political debate you find someone who also wants to debate. Second of all you don't bash someone's country when their country is going through a crisis. I stopped reading and responding to her emails months ago because all she talked about was politics and she didn't know what she was talking about most of the time. If this was her passive-aggressive way of getting me to respond to her she got it. Who the fuck in their right mind.....never mind. I have to stop writing about this because I'm only making myself angry again. Let it go, let it go, let it go.

I've never done drugs and I don't drink because I don't like the taste.

Music is my therapy. Movies and Books are my escape. When I need to think or work out problems I listen to music non stop for days. When I can't deal with my reality (which is most of the time) I watch movies and read books. Had it not been for being able to escape through movies and books I am absolutely positive that I would have ended up an alcoholic or drug addict. I could not have made it through my life without some form of escape. The only time I allow myself to feel anything is when I listen to music. I have told people this before and they think that I am kidding. I am not, I'm being serious. I don't want to even think about where I would be and what I would be doing if I did not find music, movies and books when I was a kid. I have completely blocked out most of my childhood, but I remember, every song, every movie and every book. Now when I am stressing out I try to get Pitch Black into the dvd player as soon as possible. After I watch PB I usually watch most of my movies and then when I get bored with those I turn to Turner Classic Movies and leave it there for days. I joke around a lot and say that I have spent more time with Robert Osbourn than anyone else, but the fact is that that is probably true.

The next time someone (usually a girl) comes to you and tells you what "so and so said about you." Don't react. Just look at them like they are crazy. In my experience if you don't react the person will say something like "well, I was just telling you because if 'so and so' said this about me I'd confront her/him." If you react you will see this person stand in the corner when the drama starts to go down, and they'll be smiling. Then when it's over they'll go and gossip about it. This is a situation I have been in:

me: she's a ho

trouble maker: giiiiiirl I know, so you really hate her huh?

me:No.She's a ho. Her being a ho doesn't hurt me.

(later that day I was bending beneath the window getting a towel out of a bucket and I over heard this:)

trouble maker: giiiiirl she said you a big ass ho!

ho: I know, she told me that yesterday

trouble maker: oh (looking very stupid, she walked away)...

In general, when I say something about someone else there's about a 95% chance that i have already said it directly to their face

 

girl 1: (to me) they said you ________________ (I refuse to repeat that shit)!

me: let 'em say it

girl 1: you don't care? I know I don't let people disrespect me like that.

me: If it hasn't been said to my face then it hasn't been said at all

girl 1: (said nothing and walked away, and would not talk to me for the entire day. She was pissed off because I wouldn't go "confront" the people who were "according to her" talking about me. She was probably lying about it anyway. I don't think that the things people say about me have anything to do with me. I have more important things to do than go around "confronting" people over stupid shit.

 

HI! You've been reading my blog a lot! You can comment. I only bite when the moon is full. I promise.