Planet Nergeedor

Stargate Atlantis...

 I am so in love with this show it isn't even funny! Just thinking about Mckay makes me giggle! I love his hypochondria. Now I have to suffer for 3 months. I hate cliff hangers! I need to know now! I love the fact that Ford has completely flipped out. He seriously doesn't get why they were all freaked out. I HAVE to get the dvd when it comes out in Nov. Even if I didn't like any of the other episodes I'd still buy the dvd just to get the 'Runner" episode. I laughed so hard on that episode. I just love it!

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Writer's Block...

I don't get it. Well, I get writer's block, what I mean is I don't understand how I can possible have so much trouble finishing my novel when I can come here and write pages and pages of crap! I know exactly where I want to go and how I want it to end but I'm having trouble getting there. Today I wrote four sentences! I wrote the majority of it in a few days. That's how I always write though. I've written 12 songs in one day before. The only time writing is hard for me is with this particular novel.  I want it to be perfect and I usually don't even think about that. I think maybe I'm trying to edit while I write instead of worrying about that later. Yeah that might be it! I just need to say "screw the correct grammar and write." We all know about my grammar, don't we? Ha-Ha. I have to finish this even if I never finish anything else. And I've gotten into the story so I'm dying to know what happens! I'm going to give myself until Jan to finish. So I have to be done before the new season of SG-A. I mean truly finished, with proofing and everything.

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Where the heck was Head Cases last night? SEE! Every TV show that I actually enjoy, gets canceled. A show not being on the night it's supposed to be on usually means it got moved to another time slot, which means the ratings were low, which means I'll probably never see it again! I know they'd better not touch my Prison Break or I will have an all out two year old tantrum. Shows that bore the hell out of me will be on for the next 10 years. I'd have nothing if it weren't for Sci-fi, Turner Classic Movies, Adult Swim (The Cartoon Network) and the History channel! I'll probably wake up tomorrow and all four have been removed from my cable package! Ha!

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The Box Office Slump...

Well, lets see, nowadays studios want to get the kiddy's parent's money so they try really hard to make everything PG 13 or under. What they don't get is that adults will go to the theaters if they'd release movies with actual stories instead of releasing ratings with stories attached. (And if they'd release something other that remakes!) Let's take The Chronicles Of Riddick for example. The theatrical release was rated PG 13 and I thought it was okay. Then I rented the un-rated directors cut and it was a completely different movie! I mean the story made more sense. It just had a completely different vibe. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good pg 13 and under movies! I just think the art should come first and the marketing later. I prefer to go and see R movies because let's face it kids these days are little heathens! Ha-Ha. When I went to see TCOR there were these two kids that needed a serious spanking!...When someone else is investing in your work you have to play by their rules or they'll close their wallets...

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Sons Of Provo:

This movie was hilarious. I hurt myself laughing.

 

The whole point of this blog was to expose myself to the world so I would not have anything to hide from people I meet. My thought was that I could just be myself and not worry about someone talking to me just so they could get information to gossip about, because everyone on the planet would have access to every thing about me. But in two months of writing I have yet to actually write about anything too personal. I mean I've said nothing about the things that affect me. If I can't even open up to strangers who have no clue as to my identity, then how on earth can I expect to do so with people who know me? I'm really screwed up!

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OH HELL NO! I was in my room, I walked into the hallway and went back because I forgot something. I was out of my room for maybe 2 seconds and I go back and Lt. Ford was laying face down on the floor! I'm always joking around saying "Granddaddy, go back to the other side. I will see you when I get there." Of course I don't think it's my granddaddy, I think the house is starting to tilt or something because, nothing stays in place. The dishes crash and paintings fall and the house creaks. I know there used to be a sink hole. I hope it hasn't opened up. The house also shakes sometimes. Were probably slowly sinking into the ground. A lot of freaky things happen around here but I always see the logical explanation of things. (The only thing I can't find  a logical explanation for is: One day I was alone in my room and I swear I felt someone squeeze my butt! Ha-Ha! Everyone says "oh, your muscle probably contracted." And I keep saying "I know the difference between a muscle contraction and someone grabbing my ass!" Maybe my guardian angel is a freak! Ha-Ha)

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I think I might be dreaming about fighting while I'm sleeping and I just don't remember because I keep waking up with scratches and bruises. I hope I'm winning the fights! I wake up in weird positions too! About twice a month I wake up laying on my stomach, with my arms underneath me, face down in the pillow and I can't push myself up because my arms are usually asleep so I have to rock back and forth to get momentum up so I can roll over. It's funny now but when it happens it's annoying. I think it's the nightmares that I have.

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People think that it's weird that I am so into science fiction because of my religion. Hello. the whole religion is based on a dude who could walk on water, turn water into wine, raise the dead, heal the sick, and he had attitude!... Now go read any sci-fi book or watch a movie! Exactly.

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Oh lawd no! I have a crush! I HATE, HATE, HATE! Crushes. Do people out grow crushes? I'm a little old to have one I think. He's umm I don't know how to describe him, basically he's me without breast. And he's older than me! And you know how I feel about older men! Sorry young fellas, they just have more style than you! (Oh and to clear things up someone thought that I am a guy. NOPE. I'm a chick, chica, girl, woman, lady...)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things that used to mildly annoy me, now enrage me beyond the point of reason. I'm mean small things like umm, okay... When chicks tell me that they like Vin Diesel's movies because he's hot. That pisses me off. What kind of nut case only watches movies because they think the person looks good? And when I say nut cases believe me these girls are nuts! I've jokingly said that I am going to marry Vin Diesel, but I'm not delusional. I don't actually believe that! These girls are planning weddings! That's almost as scary as someone planning your funeral before you're dead! I've visited a few Vin Diesel fan sites and I just feel like it's a waste of time because they rarely mention his movies. On these sites there are about five topics that are repeated over and over again: He's hot, He's dating so and so, He got sued, He's gay, No he's not, he's straight... I guess I'm weirdo because when I say I am a fan of someone that means I am a fan of their work/talent. I couldn't care less about what Vin Diesel or any other celebrity does in their personal lives. All I care about is what project they're releasing next. And they speak about him like they know him personally! "Oh Vin is this or that..." ...How in the hell do they know. They don't know him. He could be some kind of crazed lunatic who's into cannibalism. Well, if he is then I guess he'd make a perfect match for these girls. Ha-Ha... I'm all for fantasy and imagination and everything but I just don't get these people. Hey Mr. Diesel, you'd be wise to invest in a stun gun!

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Things you'd say if...:

 

You were abducted by aliens:

"That ain't no probe!"

"Hey! Get your finger outta there"

" I'll take you to my leader but you have to promise you wont  laugh..."

" Umm, intelligent life? You might try a few planets over."

"I swear I was only kidding when I said 'nuke the bastards'. Just a joke"

 

You were on your honeymoon:

"I wasn't laughing at you..."

"Where the hell am I? Who are you? I'm never drinking again."

"What? I've always looked like this in the mornings."

"I didn't say you could put that there! I said I'd consider it!"

" I tried to tell you $2.99 was too cheap for a hotel"

 

You were stranded on an island:

"I hope this is gonna taste just like chicken"

"That's not the toilet! It's the sink! Oh great, now I have to dig another hole"

" Oh, okay, what the hell. Just remember that whatever happens on the deserted island stays on the deserted island."

 

You were caught doing something wrong:

"I swear I don't know how 18 bodies got into my basement."

"That must have been one of my other personalities"

"I know it was bolted down to the floor but they still left it out in the open where anyone could see it!"

"Okay, I'll tell you everything. Picture it Sicily 1942..."

"I swear that rock just slipped out of my hand."

 

HEY WANNA ADD SOMETHING?

 

 

 

 

Things People Say To Me Daily:

 

Smart Ass

 

Crazy

 

I know you hear me taking to you

 

I can't believe you said that

 

You've got serious problems

 

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News Flash: Not all black people listen to rap music! If one more dumb ass asshole comes up to me asking about some rapper or rap song, this blog is going to go dead because I am going to go to jail. I'm going to take my entire cd collection and shove it up their asses. Then they'll really be able to "feel the music"......Sorry. I got a little upset. I'm just annoyed. People take one look at me and just assume they know what I'm all about. I don't care about people's assumptions as long as they keep it to themselves. Why should I have to listen to these idiots? And another thing...

 

Mexico is that country directly below The continental United States. Puerto Rico is an Island. Mexicans are NOT Puerto Ricans! If you're gonna spout off your little racist comments at least get your facts straight dumb ass. Even if I'm not the race that you are speaking of, I am offended by ALL racist comments. 

 

When people annoy me with this ignorant crap I should just give them my blog address because I am tired of repeating the same things over and over. I don't want to have take time out of my life to try and open the minds of idiots.

 

 

 

 

Does anyone know the name of this book series? When I was a kid I would read these books where you got to choose your "path." You'd read a few pages and then at the bottom of a page you'd have three choices and then you'd turn to the page that matched your choice. You could read the same book a million times. I remember there was a kid with a sword slaying a dragon or monster on the cover. The cover was textured and smelled weird (I think from the texture process) and I think it was orange or yellow. I can remember the stories vaguely but I have trouble with the names.

 

I just watched the worst movie ever made! I mean I've seen plenty of bad movies but this was absolutely horrible! I think watching it may have killed off a few of my brain cells. I'll try and describe it: Take three amazing films, Westside Story, Clockwork Orange, and Fightclub. Now make terrible remakes of all three (remove the dialog, and replace with gibberish)  and mix them together. Then you have "The Purifiers." Somebody's daddy had to finance this film. I saw the New Line logo at the beginning and I am convinced that somebody slept with someone at New Line or somebody's daddy works there. I don't say things just to be mean. I try to only talk about good films but this was unbelievably horrible. If anyone wants to do psychological warfare on me, just play this movie and I will tell you every thing that you want to know. Maybe this is one of those ecstasy movies. You know the movies that you have to take ecstasy to enjoy. I thought these kinds of movies were myths, but I have been proven wrong. I was bamboozled! The kid from Lord Of The Rings is on the cover and he isn't even the lead character! Great marketing scheme though, I have to hand them that!

 

I think I'm going to die soon. Ha-ha! Everywhere I go, people are being nice to me! Usually I have to deal with people treating me like trash but for the past couple of months people have been very friendly and two different women told me that they would pray for me. My mother asked who one of the women was and I said "I don't know, apparently someone who feels I need praying for." Very weird. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone!

At  about five o'clock this morning I walked into the hallway and saw an albino frog. It had the nerve to look at me like I wasn't supposed to be there. I went to get a box to catch it in but it was gone when I returned. I've caught several albino frogs in here, but they were dime sized. This one was the size of my hand. I hope he hops his big ass right out of the fucking window.

 

Things I'd say if I met ...

 

God - 'Can we not review October 2000?' and 'So I was a big April Fool's joke. Good one!'

 

Hitler - 'The blonde hair dye is on isle 3.'

 

My Guardian Angel - " Where in the hell have you been?"

 

Vin Diesel - " You have an odd definition of the word 'soon' don't ya?"

 

President Bush - ' Interesting, but no...'

 

Mariah Carey - " You're very strong. I would have slapped that bitch in the face."

 

Rainbow Sun Franks - I'd like to taste the rainbow (not that way! get your minds out of the gutter perverts!)

 

Rob Thomas - "I would have flattened that chick tires, If I had to walk three miles, so would she."

 

Nelly - 'What about the chicks with watermelon, pancakes,  waffle  bottoms?'

 

My future husband - " Nice of you to finally show up. Took you long enough"

 

......

I said the following people were sexy and I was called crazy and told that I needed serious help.

 

Ryu Hayabusa

 

Lt. Ford, after the feeding (all I said was that his fucked up eye was sexy! And people call me crazy...)

 

Riddick (you can't beat a man who can shut the fuck up)!

 

The Predator on Alien Vs' predator (I loved his little dread locks)!

 

A sims character I created named P. Shitter

 

The First Wraith (I don't think that's spelled right)

 

Freddy Krueger (What? he has a great sense of humor!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone wants to be something they are not. Women who have small breast want bigger ones and I damn sure want smaller ones. I wish they were interchangeable, just snap off the big ones and put on small ones, vice versa. I can't get the cute little bra and panty sets. I have to get the Granny bras with the 50 hooks and reinforced sides. I swear it feels like I'm strapping up to go in to combat everyday. And for the record the law of gravity sucks! I'm scared to see myself in 50 years, I'm probably gonna need a harness! Ha-Ha. If I had small breast I'd probably be complaining about that! Curly wants Straight, Short wants Tall, the grass is always greener.

 

 

Things That Don't Exist:

 

Royalty - There is no such thing as 'royal blood.' I could take over a country right now and declare myself queen and then all of my decedents would be said to have 'royal blood'

 

Peer Pressure - This is what people use to make themselves feel better. "I just fell in with the wrong crowd."...You ARE the wrong crowd. If you decided (I don't care what your age is) to do something that you feel is wrong or society feels is wrong take responsibility for your actions. The only way your choices aren't your fault is if someone put a gun to your head and forced you to do whatever.

 

Perfection - No matter how hard anyone tries there is always going to be something about yourself (physically or emotionally) that you don't like. The trick is learning to love it!

 

Sanity - Were all nuts! Just go outside and look around. Exactly, nothing but nut cases!

 

Me - I don't exist I'm a figment of your imagination. There is no blog. Ha-Ha. Just kidding! Or am I? Ha-Ha. I crack myself up

 

I can't sleep. I'm so jealous of those people that can say "I'm gonna take a nap" and they just close their eyes and fall asleep right where they are sitting. I have to go through this whole drill: Go to the bathroom, turn the fan on high, cover the standby light on the computer, turn off the light, get under the covers (I feel very unsafe if I'm not covered. Weird huh?), get comfortable (which usually takes about 20 min), make myself stop thinking about certain things that cause me stress. Most of the time it takes me about an hour to fall asleep. And then I wake up about every hour. I always look at the clock when I wake up to see how long I've slept. I've tried counting sheep and it always ends in a hail of gun fire! Ha-Ha. I mean if you're trying to sleep and you can't stand repetitive noise, then imaging a bunch of baahing sheep just isn't a good Idea! I go insane when someone wakes me up! They know I don't sleep well and they wake me up for stupid reasons, then when I flip out I'm the "mean" one. If they didn't sleep they'd now how it feels. The movie 'The Machinist' is an accurate portrayal of insomnia, after about 6 days you feel like "is this real, Am I real? It's terrible......Know what I've noticed. I don't say I or me. I say you or people, I don't acknowledge myself. (This is another affect of insomnia you start to have all of these enlightenment, zen moments, then when you sleep and read whay you've written you think ' "I'm insane!" and for some reason I type with lightning speed......I don't know what the fuck I'm saying anymore. I think I'm in the matrix, I did experience dejvu today! Ha-Ha.

I love classic films! A lot of black people don't like to watch old movies because of the way that black people are portrayed. But black people had it better than Asians, Native Americans and Mexicans. Although the blacks were usually servants, maids, etc., they were also the voice of reason in a house full of nutty white people, and they kept things running. At least most of the time black characters were played by black people. A lot of the time Asians, Native Americans and Mexicans were played by white people in bad make up speaking in bad accents! "Duel In The Sun" is one of my favorite movies even with the horrible make up jobs! Sometimes you have to over look certain things to get to some things. At the end of the day...It's just a movie.  

ERIC... SINCE YOU STILL DON'T GET IT YOU BROKE YOUR WORD TO THE MEN ALLIANCE BEFORE, WAIT LET ME REPEAT THAT, BEFORE KAYSER NOMINATED YOU. He still doesn't get it. Speaking of reality shows, there is another (groan) new reality show. Guess what it's about? A freaking reality show about making a reality show. Now I do get into Big Brother, but come on! At least it's a strategic game. Here's a list of reality shows I see coming in the next few years because people are running out of ideas:

 

The Serial Killer - Watch as a serial killer stalks, kidnaps, tortures, kills and buries his victims.

 

Fine Young Cannibals - Watch our gorgeous cast of ship wrecked contestants as they are forced to eat each other to stay alive, who will be the last to get eaten?

 

Corrupt - Watch as the CEO of _____ shows you how he embezzles 300 million dollars each year

 

The Paper - Watch as a sensitive man goes around the world in search of the softest toilet paper

 

The Clinton Job - Watch as former President Bill Clinton auditions college students to find a better blow that Monica!.......

 

Okay that was low, Ha-Ha. I should quit while I'm ahead. A couple of "real" television shows have come out, but the only one I've watched is Prison Break and I love it! I'm gonna stick to my movies!

Dancing? I don't consider jumping on bars shaking your ass or grinding up against someone dancing. I consider that dry humping and apparently I'm "boring" because I don't "party at all." If not drinking and doing drugs and not dry humping strange men in bars is boring, then yeah. I guess I must be the most boring person on the planet. I think I was born in the wrong decade. I would fit in perfectly if I was born in the 40's or something.

 

I cleaned out my closet. It took two days. I had clothes in there that I wore when I was 12! I'm not messy, but I save everything and some stuff was just ridiculous, I can't believe how old some things were. I saved all of my sweat shirts and pants because I don't have heat (or air conditioner) and I wear them during the winter. I HATE being cold! The heat doesn't bother me at all but once I'm cold it's almost impossible for me to get warm. I'll probably disappear from here during the cold months because I'll be all warm and cozy in my bed,  minus my electric blanket that caught on fire last winter. (It wasn't in blazes but there was a burn mark. I'm just glad I was awake. I heard a loud pop, then I smelled something burning and I was able to unplug it before things got serious.

 

I have another one of my headaches. I can't even think clearly when my head is like this and I can't rest because even the silence hurts. I'll probably read this later and think "what the fuck?" because I'm so out of it. I've tried to explain my headaches to people but they don't get it. They think that if I take an aspirin I'll feel better. It's a combination of headache, eye twitch, dizziness and disorientation. I've never been drunk but I think maybe it would feel like this. I can't know for sure though and I have no intentions of every finding out. Nothing makes it better. I just have to wait it out.

I had another nightmare. This is getting old! I dreamed I dropped my boyfriend off one street over from my house and as the car pulled away he was happy because he didn't get his car towed so to celebrate he shot in the air (you know how people do on New Years). and the bullet hit him when it came down and I watched all this. I didn't go to help him, I watched him crawl into my yard and then I ran to him and was holding him and I was putting pressure on his chest where he was bleeding. While I was holding him a phone magically appeared in my hand and I  dialed 911 and a record voice said "We are unable to help you all of our workers are at the site where the nuclear bomb was detonated." Then I went into the house and watched while my boyfriend tried to walk up the stairs. I kept telling he shouldn't do that because he was making more blood pump to his heart and he was going to loose too much blood. Then We sat on the couch and watched TV while I kept pressure on his wound........I have some crazy ass dreams! That would be my luck to have a boyfriend who gets shot! Well, I guess that's not really a nightmare because I didn't wake up scared, but I woke up very sad. Usually when I wake up it takes a long while before I know how I feel.

 

I'm a basket case! I listened to "Send me a lover" By Taylor Dane, ate a bunch of junk, cried and then watched Pitch Black. I seriously don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I was watching one of those design shows yesterday and the lady started crying because she liked the room so much and I started crying! Over a freaking design show! I am off my rocker! I hope I don't end up as a "cat lady" you know those women who never get married, have kids, or have family and they take stray cats into their house and end up with 2,000 cats or something. I can see it now! ha-ha! And I've been watching TV a lot! I don't usually watch a lot of TV, well I watch Turner Classic Movies a lot but those are movies not television shows. And I usually watch cartoons that are made for adults (family guy, oblongs, etc.) but lately I've been watching the ones for preschoolers! I'm probably going to end up needing shock therapy!

WOW! I have been reading Big Brother blogs and I thought I hated April, Maggie and Ivette. Some people are really going off, they are using words I don't use. When the show is over they are going to need to get a body guard and they probably should all move and switch jobs because they are not safe! I'm being serious I have read what some people on blogs plan to do to them. I mean people are making "plans"! That is some scary shit. I am not excusing their behavior at all but they should really be careful. These people don't sound like they are joking! Those anti-American, racist, making fun of the poor and making fun of the handicap comments that they each have made really pissed people off. They most assuredly didn't know how many people watch the live feeds. They think that the edited show is all people see and that BB is making them look bad. One person said that April should thank BB for them trying to make her look like a better person on the aired shows. In the DR April said "wait is this being taped?" she truly doesn't realize that for the past 3 months, 24/7 all of her actions have been broadcast on the internet and saw by millions of people and people who don't have the live feed are reading the transcripts. I call them the GST or F because I don't want them associated with the term "nerd." That's why America and everyone else who can get the show in their country hates them and love the other HG. When the live show comes on the gst pretends to be oh so nice and sweet and as soon as the live show is over they go back to being assholes because they forgot about the live feed. Janelle and everyone else in the game has said and done things I didn't like, but the difference is you see them acting exactly the same on the live feed as the aired shows. NO ONE is perfect, everyone on the planet has said and done things that they regret. But our faults aren't taped, we don't have to constantly relive things we don't like about ourselves. Can you imagine what these girls are going to go through when they go home, for the rest of their lives they are going to be constantly reminded of their faults and bad deeds. It's going to be worse than being a celebrity because at least celebrities get to have some sort of peace when they have good reviews or read letters from their fans. And most of the things that are said about celebrities are just rumors, no one has real proof. It's different from photos where writers can add a caption saying you were doing one thing when you were really doing something else. These girls are taped and live on the internet feed. They can't deny anything, like other reality show stars can say it was editing that made them look bad.  I think BB should hire bodyguards for them for at least 6 months after the show. I don't like them but some people are going to far and no one deserves not to be safe. You should be careful of what you say about the people of your country always but if you're on air 24/7 for three months you shouldn't even mention your country in a negative way. I don't think they realize how much damage they have done to their family and themselves. With all that said they chose to behave the way they did, so they can't blame anyone but themselves. JANIE is one of my fav. BB contestants of all time. Between her Kaysar,and Howie this season was the best! And James' DR comments were absolutely hilarious!

My headache was bad today. So bad to the point that silence made it hurt worse, so I watched TV today. There was this woman on Dr. Phil who was 320lbs and her daughter was about 220lbs and she would tell her daughter things like "you're disgusting, you can't get a good husband because you're fat, fat bitch, etc." The obvious thing is that she's the pot calling the kettle black.I mean she weighs 100lbs more than someone and calls them fat? This proves my theory that people say negative things to you that they think about themselves, if someone calls you fat, they feel fat and don't like themselves, if they call you stupid they feel stupid. The second thing is even if she weren't fat herself, she should not treat a child that way! She said she's trying to help her! Can you believe that shit? She wants her child to be "happy" so she verbally and physically abuses her. Her daughter is going to need so much therapy when she gets older. I was screaming at the TV "punch that bitch in the face, DR. Phil!" It pisses me off that people like that are allowed to have children. If I was a social worker and I saw that on TV I'd have that child removed from the home and have the mother arrested. I'm sure that girl gets picked on in school and then she has to deal with the same crap when she goes home. Which probably makes her eat more! Her mother is going to end up alone. What a bitch! I don't care what her reasons are for her behavior. If she doesn't like being fat then she needs to deal with her issues and stop taking it out on her child the person she is supposed to protect. She should be the one telling her daughter to ignore the kids at school and don't believe the kids at school but she's an ignorant, un fit mother. I hope that girl says "fuck you mommy" and goes on to live a happy life and know that she is not a bad person and that she can get a good husband no matter what size she is!

Dog The Bounty Hunter has to be the funniest show on TV! I love it when they catch someone and they scream "motherfucker, asshole, stupid bitch you made me chase you all over this place your piece of trash bastard" and as soon as they have the person in the car "Do you want a cigarette? Are the handcuffs too tight? Where are your shoes? Here take mine." I love Leland! I think he tries to impress his dad because he is always the first one to run into situations. On one episode he came crashing through the ceiling! They're always saying "Wait a minute Leland, Slow down Leland. And Beth cracks me up. She's driving to catch someone putting on makeup in the car and wearing stilettos.

 

If I wrote a book about my life I'd have to say it was fiction because unbelievable things happen to me! Lifetime Television would have a field day with my life story. Nothing shocks me any more. A Ninja could attack me and cut my arm off and I wouldn't have a shocked or why me? reaction.  I feel really bad today. Nothing new happened, but my life situation gets to me sometimes. So of course I watched some movies today. So many times in my life I've said if I do this I'll be happy but that never happens. I don't feel proud of anything that I've ever accomplished, I'm just not impressed with myself. People say "wow that's really great, good for you." And I just shrug because I don't feel like things are that big of a deal. I HATE it when my family tells me they are proud of me. I usually flip out and say "I didn't do this for you!"

 

One of my uncles goes around and brags about his kid's accomplishments and that pisses me off because he didn't raise them, he was forced by the state to pay child support and they did not succeed because of him, they succeeded in spite of him. He's so arrogant, he's a sociopath and I suspect murderer but I don't have evidence! I'm not joking either. You know how much I love mysteries and puzzles and that's what the pieces add up to. If anyone in their right mind heard the story they'd think the same thing. If I disappear ... just kidding! Ha-Ha. 

I'm sick of these nightmares. I went to sleep at 10:40 last night and I woke up with my heart pounding at 11: 15. I thought you have to be asleep a couple of hours before you dream. Anyway.. I dreamed that I went to sleep with the lights on and when I woke up (in my dream) the lights were off and someone was choking me and I couldn't move my arms so I couldn't fight them off. Then I woke up for real terrified. When I think about that now it doesn't seem scary at all but I was full of fear when I woke up.

 

News Flash: Just because you are bald does not mean you look like Vin Diesel and don't believe people if they tell you, you look like Vin Diesel because people lie! (If one more man tells me that they look like him, I'm going to snap! I just look at them like they are crazy.)

 

Clothes Shopping

I went to buy some clothes today which I haven't done in five years and I wear three different sizes. I hate shopping so I'd like to just grab a size and go but I can't I have to try crap on. When I was a kid I hated shopping and I still hate it! Some things are so expensive! I look at the price tags and say "Did Jesus make it? I'm not paying that much for anything unless Jesus handcrafted it himself." I sew so I know how much fabric costs and no cotton item is worth $200.00 I don't care whose name is on it. 

Where's Dick?

I was watching TV and Dick Cheney was mentioned. I FORGOT he existed! He will go down in history as the invisible Vice President. Ha-Ha. What in the heck has he been doing? I guess he doesn't like photo ops like most politicians.

 

Cheaters

This show is hilarious. "I found condoms and women's under where in my bed and my husband says he's holding for a friend and I just want to make sure he's telling me the truth." News flash: If you have to call a show to find out if your man/woman is cheating, THEY ARE! I think that cheating is like saying "I have no respect for you and you need me so I can do what I want." God forbid a man ever cheats on me. I'll be all over the news, I would wild out seriously! The ultimate disrespect. I love it when the cheater says "You hired someone to follow me?" Hello! You are cheating on someone you're lucky they didn't hire someone to get rid of you! Ha-Ha

 

Medication Commercials

Have you seen these commercials? They show all these beautiful scenes of family, friends, and then after telling you how great their product is they have some speed reader usually saying something like "May cause blindness, heart attack, stroke or death. People with serious medical conditions should not take this medication." What the fuck? Isn't medicine for people who have serious medical conditions?

 

BB6

I don't care how much they edit shows, if you said it, you said! April and Ivette are not going to like what they see of themselves. They are always talking about how they are good, honest people but their actions don't show that. America is voting for Janelle because she doesn't walk around acting like she is holier than thou. They keep saying that Janelle has lied and back stabbed in the game. Can someone please tell me when this happened? I have seen every episode and visit the live feed sites daily and I haven't seen her do any of this. Maggie is not as bad as April and Ivette but she still takes part in the Janelle bashing. April sits there and says how great their jobs are and that Janelle is a cocktail waitress and deals with alcohol and drugs. Where did she get that crap from? They did not take the time to get to know Janelle for what ever reason so they just make up things about her. This is what people do to me all the time!

How dare you put someone else down because of what they do for a living! I just hope that Howie is working on Beau! I wont be that upset if Maggie wins but I'll be livid if Ivette or April wins.

 

Free Your Mind By EnVogue was released in 1992 and in 2005 this song still speaks of what is going on in the world. I think this is so sad. I heard that parts of this song is a remake, but I'm not sure, if that is true then that is even sadder. 

 

"I can't look without being watched

You rang my buy before I made up my mind

Oh now attitude, Why even bother

I can't change your mind, You can't change my color

Free your mind and the rest will follow

(Why oh why must it be this way)

Be color blind don't be so shallow

(Before you can read me you gotta learn how to see me)"

 

Here's what happened, AGAIN:

I go into Best Buy with my mother. I'm minding my own business looking at xbox games and suddenly I hear someone say in a very nasty tone "CAN I HELP YOU?" I look up and see the manager and I say "no" and continue looking. After a few moments I hear my mother say "She just likes xbox games." I look up again and the manager is staring at us. So I finish shopping (while I'm being shadowed) and leave the store. I won't go back again. I can't make you understand what it's like. To have people constantly assume you are a theif.I have never stolen anything in my entire life! I've had white people tell me "Oh you're just being sensitive." but that is not the case. I have went in to stores where the people weren't racist and they ask nicely "Can I help you?" When I say no, I see them go to other customers who walk in and ask the same thing. The facts prove that the top two groups of people who shoplift are white and they usually don't get caught for years. While black (I'm including Mexicans and Puerto Ricans in with the Blacks) people are being followed and watched white shoplifters are walking out of the front door with merchandise. I could report them to the district office but I know exactly what will happen. They will say "Ma'am I'm sorry about the way you were treated, this is not our store policy, the individual will be reprimanded. Sorry  for the inconvenience. Please continue shopping at any one of our Best Buy locations." And in reality nothing will happen. When I get followed in clothing stores, I make those bitches work! I pick up things like I'm going to buy them and move them to different racks. I hold up the folded clothes and then just put them back without even attempting to refold them. Because of the way racist white people behave, I know black people who hate ALL white people. I think this is so wrong. I know how I feel when people treat me badly because I am black so I can't even imagine doing that to someone else. And it complete boggles my mind as to how a Jew can be racist against black people. From the beginning of time your people have suffered just because they are Jewish and you do the same thing to black people? And you would think that after 9/11 no Arabic person would be racist towards black people but they still are. After 9/11 black people got a break because for a long time racist people who worked in  stores focused on Arabic people instead of blacks, but things are going back to normal. If I owned a store the only colors I would see would be green and plastic! I just wont shop there anymore like I've done at so many other stores! As far as interracial dating goes,  I don't care if he's green with blue spots, if I find a good man I'm gonna snag him up!

I feel better after venting!

Today when I was waking up the first thing I thought about was Vin Diesel being afraid of Gary the Duck, then I thought about Rick James saying cocaine is a powerful drug (I haven't watched The Pacifier or DC Season 2 in a very long time), then I thought about a family secret, then I thought about eating some pizza (I wasn't hungry). Completely random subjects. Very weird. I remember I dreamed I was at the museum and was donating some of my paintings and one I hadn't signed so I was trying to figure out what I could use to sign it with. I wonder why I didn't wake up thinking about my dream. I think I will start writing down my first thoughts of the day just to see what is going on in my head subconsciously.