THE MOMENTS
there's the moment where I first saw you ... after two years you hadn't changed a bit ... I saw you walk in the door to your venue, but you didn't see me. I thought I was past those feelings; I didn't think my heart would start pounding, but it did, and adrenaline poured into my limbs, and I didn't think I would be able to hide it when I saw you. I was a bit upset that I had seen you outside, I wished I had somehow stumbled across you where you saw me first and I didn't have time to get nervous. Now you were inside, I was still outside, so I pulled myself together and tried to stuff the nervous energy away, and managed somewhat, by telling myself I hadn't seen you, it didn't matter, maybe I'll just ignore you anyway. Then, with a deep breath, I reached out and opened the door.<BR><BR>I walked in the venue and hung around by the door, pretending to look at the art on the walls, the postcards, something, but in reality I was just trying to make myself small and invisible. I saw you by the table, I saw a crowd around you, and figured it was time to make my move. I walked nonchalantly towards the table, as if to buy a ticket -- well, I truly intended to, but realized by your actions that they were sold out. You bid goodbye to the group, and turned toward me. I saw you, you saw me, so I waved. You waved back, and I realized in that moment it was dawning on you who I was. You said, "Kelly?" and I said "yes", and I somehow managed to say a few sentences, though the words were choking back in my throat, begging not to come out. You asked what I had hoped beyond hope you would ask, if I wanted to go get a bite to eat with you. I knew, then, that that I would have you to myself for a little while. That was so much better than going away alone and empty.<BR><BR>You sat in my car and I drove us to the bar. I don't remember what we talked about as we drove. I'm sure we did talk, though. Then we got to the bar and sat down, and ordered, and then started talking about the past. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to go there, but you coaxed it out of me. I was so happy when that conversation "ended", although ironically, without that conversation, the rest of the night would not have happened. That conversation led to the underwear discussion, to the comment about my "fabulous tits", which led to that moment when I pulled off my shirt. I did it mostly to show how brave I was. But you had expected something different. Then you asked me why I hadn't invited you to do the same. I floundered, blushed, got bashful, then invited you. <BR><BR>The look in your eyes as you opened your pants was adorably devilish. You unveiled your package and I studied it appreciatively. I was content to just look at it for awhile, as this was not the place to touch it, but I did so much want to touch it. I was ecstatic that we were sharing ourselves in this way. You, me, in public ... I flashed back to the London bar, and wanted to tell you about that, but figured that's not the kind of thing a girl shares with a man she wants to sleep with. <BR><BR>I realized what a risk you were taking by doing this, by accepting this, and it turned me on that you enjoyed the risk. But, the risk to you was very great indeed, so to be safe we had to end the session. I did not want to, but did not make that apparent. <BR><BR>You challenged me then, protesting that our exchanges had been unequal. I realized that, but didn't know how to remedy the situation. The risk to you was rapidly growing much too dangerous as time passed and people you knew started entering the bar. I couldn't bear in any way to somehow ruin your livelihood by taking risky chances anymore. But I wanted to be fair to you. So I told you that I would, indeed, make the exchange equal, but that I would give you control over when and where. You seemed to really like that offer, and accepted.<BR><BR>I don't remember the rest of the night. I just sat there, half-heard conversations drifting through my ears, mixing with vivid images of your package exposed in this very place. I felt ... privileged. I felt I possessed something that others had not. I didn't even stop to think if you were thinking about me. I was so content to just sit next to you and think about our very public secret.<BR><BR>Then I drove you home. As always, I wondered what the night would bring and had absolutely no idea what turns it may make. Would you ask me to take you to my hotel? Or would you ask me to take you to your place instead? Would it be straightforward, where I dropped you off and drove away? Or would you invite me up? I had no idea. <BR><BR>You had me take you to your place. Then you had me park. Hopeful sign! Then, you reached over and unbuckled my seatbelt ....<BR><BR><BR>--I remember the rest. I will now move on to other moments.--<BR><BR><BR>I could not sleep that night at all. I tossed and turned feverishly, reliving those moments, creating new ones, and new conversations. Finally, I slept.<BR><BR>I worried the next day that you would ignore me. Worse, I worried that I would not run into you at all. I suspected I might see you at your venue after your show, as I was seeing the show after yours, but there was so much room for missing each other, too. As I drove by, I saw you leave by the front door. Damn! This may just work out perfect, or else I'll miss you by the slimmest margin! It had to be the former. I felt the universe was on my side, so as I raced around the block, parked, and walked towards the venue, I held my hopes up high. People were walking around me, and I had to pace myself so that they didn't block me and prevent me from getting there in time, but also I didn't want to rush so quickly that I'd end up missing you with my speed. I made the decision to walk around two ladies with canes, and that turned out to be the perfect timing. I was walking across the driveway just as you were pulling out! I looked up and saw you, and my heart swelled as I saw your big grinning smile, and saw you motion me to your side with your head. <BR><BR>I remember holding your hand in your car, but I also remember catching you give our hands a puzzling look. I wondered what you were thinking. You said you may come back to the show, and I hoped you would make it, even though I thought you had seen it already. You left, and I went in, satisfied.<BR><BR>I didn't think you had come back. They made the underwear announcement, and I just sat there. I thought of you, and I thought of how chicken I had just proved to be. Then, I saw you out of the corner of my eye, and your presence gave me strength to go ahead. Then, I didn't see you again. <BR><BR>The rest of our time that day was uneventful, with no more moments between us until we said goodbye. Then, you hugged me, your hand on my ass, and afterward as I pulled away you pulled me in for a passionate kiss. I loved your kisses. I left with my heart exploding because you had connected with me so passionately.<BR><BR><BR>Not many more moments for the rest of the trip. I was a little bit sad that they ended. I began feeling uncomfortable and unwanted, and started spending more time with new friends, in order to leave you alone. <BR><BR>In the end, when I felt most uncomfortable hanging around you just before you left, I pushed on because I had something I wanted to give you. It proved worthwhile, because you gave me your board, thus guaranteeing that I will see you again. Then I thanked you for letting me "get to know you" and you giggled the cutest giggle I've ever heard from you. I buried my head in your shoulder sheepishly and treasured the moment of touch. Then you asked for your "second showing" before you left. I had not expected that, but it thrilled me. I exposed, feeling a mixture of self-loathing and bravery. You studied, and then you gave that little laugh. I didn't know what the laugh meant, but it seemed filled with positivity so I took it inside to treasure. You softly said "thank you" and I said "you're welcome, thank you" and put myself away. We looked at each other for a moment, then you told me you had to go. I said "yeah" with a smile, "seeya", and then virtually skipped away to my car.
He told me that he thought the Grecian Urn scene would be the highlight of the show.
AND he sat next to me onthe bench.
I think I'm very happy.
