Mey's Journal

Jan 24, 2006 at 19:01 o\clock

This is how it went

by: mey2

Today me and Hubby went to see the marriage counsellor and it felt all really weird.

I know I was happy to go at first but when it came to the crunch I felt like running away!  We were asked to a room which was really small but comfy enough.  There was three chairs there and I chose the one on the left of the counsellor.... She first started asking questions about us, like our age and job etc.  Then she asked why we came.  I could not bring myself to start talking which is quite unusual for me cause I am always talking first....and last!!
So Hubby started by saying that we had trouble in our relationship that the fun had gone and that my love for him had gone too.
From then on it was an exchange of questions, statements and answers between the three of us.  The lady was really good.
She asked me a question and I answered and while I was answering she was looking at Hubby...obviolusly to see what his reaction was.  I could see she was looking at our body language and how we were reacting when one of us was making a negative statement about the other.  I felt that Hubby was exagerating a lot about a few things he was saying about me.
When I said that his jealousy and insecurity had destroyed the love and respect I had for him he said that surely there was more.  He said to the counsellor that I had told him I didnt fancy him anymore, that I said he was fat and that he needed plastic surgery when what really happened is that he asked me if he needed to loose weight, I said not really, maybe a little and when he suggested plastic surgery because he has been talking about it for so long, I told him that if that's what he really wanted, then why not.  I actually think that he hates the way he looks so much, plastic surgery might boost his confidence.  Anyway, he made me look like I was a right bitch. 
But I managed to wriggle out of it.  At one point he was talking about next Saturday night (Sarah's birthday celebration, Big Girl's Night out!) and the fact that he was ok with me going...but he forgot to mention how awful he'd been about it a few weeks ago.  And I said 'Dont you remember what you said' and he said 'no' and I said 'Shall I remind you then!' and I did and the counsellor said to him 'why do you think you need to act this way then'.  He could not answer that.  He simply said that it was something it could not help.  It must be horrible to be jealous like that.  I can't imagine being eaten inside by horrible feelings!
Apparently he is going to see someone about his jealousy on Thursday.  Another counsellor that was recommended to him by a friend. I didnt even know about it.  He only told me today.  So hopefully that will help....somehow!

It has been ok at home though.  We are talking more which is good.  My feelings for him have not changed and I think it will take a long time for them to change...if they change!!
Now I came home today and he told me he'd booked a holiday for the last week of February.  We're off to Austria on a ski holiday.  I didnt think he would do it but he did!  So now I have to sort a lot of things out for the hols.  I am kinda excited about it cause the kids have never been on a ski holiday before.  But I am dreading being just with him not being able to contact my friends... Can you imagine... in the middle of moutains, with Austrian people, and trapped with him... I will really have to try to make the most of it.

I feel tired now...  I probably will go to bed early tonight!  What a bore I am LOL!

Teri... Thank you for your lovely email.  You've helped

Comments for this entry:

  1. winteryweather wrote at Jan 25, 2006 at 14:38 o\clock:Why the hell do men try to turn it around and blame us for the shit they can\'t do? I am so sorry you have to go through this crap and with time things will get better one way or another! It does take time so don\'t get discouraged right away! Here is you need to VENT or whatever!!!

    Take care and have a reat day! Oh BTW...I changed the name of my bloggie so if you see that at your is just me!

  2. winteryweather wrote at Jan 25, 2006 at 14:38 o\clock:*great*

    can\'t spell now!

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