Mey's Journal

Mood: Headache (too much wine!!!)
Listening to: watching Extreme House Makeover!

OK... I thought I should tell you the whole story about my mother and her boyfriend.
Cause it's a little more complicated than story between Victor and Nicky of the Young and the Restless!  (I haven't watch that soap for a few years now... are those two still in there??!!)

I will be quick in telling the story to try not to bore anyone!!

OK.  My mum and dad got married in 1971.  My big brother was 1 and I was to arrive a couple of years after that.  When I was about 6, my mum met a guy called Christian at work.  They both got on very well and both had a passion for Poetry so they used to write each other little notes and that is when my mum realised she had fallen for him and decided to separate from my dad.  I cannot remember how long the separation lasted for but I have flashback of seeing my mum crying and pleading my dad to come back (my dad had moved out).  After that, my mum and dad were together for many many years.  When I was 11, my sister was born and when I was 14, my lil brother came to the world.  So we were pretty much a busy family with teenagers having tantrums, babies crying their eyes out and mum and dad seemed happy enough.
I then left France for England (I was 19).  After about three months there, my mum came to visit.  And that is when she told me she was having an affair with our neighbour Dan.  I was shocked that she thought it was a good idea to tell me about the affair.  I felt so sad for my dad.  I knew something so terrible and I knew that if he knew, it would break his heart.  I told my mum that I knew that my dad was jealous and possessive but the affair was not something I accepted.  She felt bad about telling me but that was that really.  She once said she regretted telling me but obviously no regrets in having the affair!  I know she carried on with her affair for a little while longer but then it stopped.  A few months passed and mum and dad carried on with their routine!
Next I knew was from my big brother who told me that my mum had been kicked out of the house by my dad and was living with him and my two lil sister and brother.  I was shocked!  It seemed that my mum had met Christian again and had started writing to him again (and him to her).  She then decided to start sleeping in the spare room and she was constantly arguing with my dad.  Until my dad found the letters Christian had sent my mum and he kicked her out.  She took the kids with her.  I went over there at that point for the wedding of a friend and was overcome with sadness when my dad cried in my arms. My dad who is such a strong person for me, who never shows much emotions that would make him look vulnerable, was crying in my arms.  I was so annoyed with my mum for putting us all in this horrible situation.  When I saw her afterwards, I would barely look at her and she knew I was angry... she cried and I felt sorry for her ... I calmed down and we were ok.  My mum then moved in with Christian and took my lil sis and bro with her.  Christian had apparently asked his current girlfriend to move out and my mum and Christian lived the blissful love they obviously had for each other.  My lil sis and bro though were less than happy and were missing their dad.  So 4 months later, my mum told Christian she was going back to my dad.  She didn't say it was for the kids sake as she knew that Christian would never have let her go.  So she told him she didn't love him anymore and that she had made a terrible mistake.   My dad took my mum back and although his jealousy never faded and the sour taste in his mouth about her betrayal was still present, they were living together happily enough.  Or so I thought!
10 years later, (3 years ago)my mum and dad relationship was going down the pan big time.  They were arguing all the time and my mum said she was leaving him again but this time she was not taking the kids (now 19 & 14 years old).  She went to live with her brother for a while and we all thought that she had decided to leave because of my dad's contant nagging at her.  He had never forgiving her for leaving him and was being pretty mean at times.  He actually pushed her away but he loved her to bits and was very upset when she left him again.  Although this time, he knew they could not have carried on like this... arguing all the time.

Then about 2 months after she left, my mother called me.  And she told me that the real reason why she left my dad was because she wanted to be with Christian again and that she had contacted him and they were going to be together.  I was gobsmacked!
I felt that once again she had big secrets and her true colour was coming out.  She had deceived the whole family again, pretending to be so unhappy with my dad when all along, she just wanted to be with Christian.  But I didn't want to get involved this time, I was looking after my two babies and I had my hands full without letting my mum upset me again.  I decided to just keep away from it.  But I had regular reports from her about her situation.

She went through hell after moving out of her brother's home.  She moved into a tiny little appartment and was all lonely and sad.  Many times she was crying on the phone and was unable to speak to me. 
I then found out that when she had left Christian 10 years earlier, he was so devastated he had a nervous breakdown.  But he apparently never stopped loving her.  However, he was back with his old girlfriend and was helping her building a house in the country side.  So he told my mother that he was not leaving his girlfriend like last time.  He wanted to make sure she would have a house first.  And he said to her that she would have to be patient and that he may take over 2 years before the house would be finished.

So my mother accepted the conditions and told him she would wait.
She was so lonely though as she was not being able to see him as much as she wanted, that she was miserable and for months she simply never wanted to go out or speak to anyone and when my big bro was inviting her around for dinner, she would turn him down.
That is when I told her that if she closed the door on everyone like, when she would want to re-open it, no one would be there waiting for her.  So she decided to start going out and show her face etc.
Her family had been dead against her leaving my dad but never said anything and just accepted her decision (although when her back was turned, they were making their feelings really clear!!)

So my mum is living in a teeny weeny place now, is working for an old blind lady who is mean to her, an is desperatly trying to see him as much as she can which is sometimes just 10 minutes in her day.

Since she's got a new computer, she has now got a hobby and has taken up PSP designing and she into communities so now she spends a long time on it and feels happier cause she ain't so lonely no more.

In the meantime..... it's now gonna be three years that she has been waiting for Christian to move his butt into gear and get a move on.  His current girlfriend knows he is having an affair but says nothing, he says to my mum that he does not speak to his girlfriend much and she doesn't either, he said he does not share the same bed anymore, but no one is there to verify that.  My mum is getting impatient and wants to move in with him (he lives just about three minutes drive from her).  And last time she made a scene with him and told him she was not happy waiting anymore, he said he was leaving her... that lasted like 48 hours then he called and said he loved her that she had to be more patient.... which pisses me off like hell cause he is just playing with words.

I feel like he is being so dishonest with her, with his girlfriend and my mum is giving all her spare time to him and always defends him despite proving to all of us that he is a rat!

I gotta stop typing cause my hand hurts now... I might talk more later!

Mey
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