Mey's Journal

Mood: OK

OK.  I have had a good day today.  I did loads at work and managed to really sort a few things out that have been hanging for ages.  So now I am pretty much up to date at work and that feels good!
I felt a little happier today.  I sent an email to my mum and told her about the counselling bit.  I also said that hubby had booked a holiday in Austria and that although I was looking forward to see the mountains and the snow, I was dreading being with him with no escape... no last minute 'I am going out to see Sarah' escuse to get out of the house.... I am hoping however that we'll be so knackered after skiing all day, we'll be in bed early!!  I am planning to spend as much time with the kids and play in the snow with them.  My mum replied that she was happy I was not making any harsh decision just yet and that I was taking my time.

I am worried that she thinks I will be all ok soon and that it was just a bad dream... But this morning, after he had his shower, he came in the room half naked and I just could not look at him.  Then he started talking and I thought 'I dont like his voice'.  Then I saw the back of his head and thought 'I hate his hair in the back of his head..all little and curly'.... If I ever feel in love with him again it will take a long long time.... and that is a IF... not a WHEN. 
I personally can't see it coming.  But as everybody around me say... You never know!

I am going out on Saturday for Sarah's birthday and I know I should be looking forward to it.  My friend Sam just came for a cup of tea earlier and told me she could not go cause her dad had a car crash and she was going to Cardiff on Friday.  Which means that her hubby...My hubby's best friend, is going too.  And I was hoping that the two of them would spend Saturday night together so I would be free of nagging texts on my phone asking me where I was or who I was with!!
So now, I am going out hoping he will behave and leave me the hell alone.  Otherwise I will tell him that...errrr... I will take the opportunity of him being an arse once again and make out with some strangers on the dance floor as a revenge scheme...LOL.  That should shut his mouth!!!

No... I really hope he will not nag me that night cause I really want to let my hair down and enjoy it to the fulll.  I need it!!!

Better cook the kids dinner.  It looks like they haven't been fed for days according to their whining!!

Mey
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