Mey's Journal

Karen called me on my mobile this afternoon.....

I haven't got much time to go into details but this is how it went.
School started on Tuesday so obviously I saw her there, but I had my sunglasses on so I could scan the playground without being spotted (it is fairly small anyway) and I saw her...looking shipish (sp?) and she looked at me a few times... but I never smiled or waved at her.  As far as I am concerned... I do not know her.

Today, I met Sarah in a school car park and she looked annoyed .  She told me that she saw Karen and wanted to tell her a few things like 'Why hate me and talk about me when you dont even know me!!' but Karen managed to wriggle her way with another mum and Sarah couldn't butt in and have her say... but Sarah really wanted to talk to her cause she feels she has been treated very unfairly.  So Sarah was not happy cause she didn't manage to give her a peace of her mind...
Anyway... I saw Karen after that... just saw her... didn't talk or made eye contact.  She was with her sister and I could see her sister looking at me badly... I wouldn't care if the girl wasn't huge and could flatten me by just sitting on me.... That sort of told me that Karen must have 'blahbed' about me!!  And then after school I took Jack to the park cause the weather is so hot I planned to let him play while I am reading my book.... I had planned a good hour of not being distrubed!  Then I got a text from Karen saying she wanted to talk to me in person... Shock Horror... she never done that before.  So I replied to say that whatever she needed to say surely she could text or email cause she was good at it!
Then what do you know... I got a phone call on my mobile and the number displayed said 'Witheld'.  It could have been Hubby cause sometimes his phone turns weird and his number is witheld.  So I replied.... but it was Karen.

I stayed really calm and wanted her to know that she could not hurt me anymore.
She started talking to me to say she needed to tell how uncomfortable she felt at school.  She said she felt uneasy seeing me at school... and I was like... 'eerrr... what's it got to do with me!!??' so I told her that whatever the problem was, she needed to sort it out herself cause I was in no way responsible.
I managed to tell her that when she said those things to Hubby, it really had affected me in a way she could never imagined.  And I managed to say that she never once asked how I felt about it... it was all about her and how bad she was feeling for betraying me 'not on purpose' apparently but I said whether it is on purpose on not, the thing was done and it was bad and I could not forgive her for it.
Then I said I tried and tried to include her with my friend Sarah and Sam but she never was interested.  Once again she said she was uncomfotable in meeting new people... and she repeated that escuse so many time during our 45 minutes conversation that in the end, I told her to chnage her escuse cause that one had run its course.
She asked me how things were going to change between us and I said that I didnt know if they were ever gonna be the same.  I said to her that at present I did not want her in my life for my own sanity...I had to tell her I was on happy pills partly because of her giving me so much stress in the last 7 months (she was surprised but I think felt like she was believing the fact I had been bad and not faking it...without her knowing...if you know what I mean)
I told her that time heal things and that maybe we might speak again.  But right now... I didn't want to be with her...

She cried a little and she asked me not to be so angry at her cause she was uncomfortable with the way things were and that she couldn't help it and I said I was never angry at her for lacking confidence but I was angry at her for almost breaking my marriage up.  I also said to her that despite her saying that she was never after Hubby, she gave me a lot of reasons to believe the opposite.

And thank God my phone battery ran out and I had to tell her I had to go....

So... I went to the park to read my book and ended up having a heated conversation with Karen.... So much for peace and quiet!!!

Hope you're all well...
Be back soon and thank you all for all your messages... you're all dear friends!!

Mey
-x-