Mey's Journal

Listening to: MTV

I have just been crying.  I was driving my car after picking up my son from nursery, music was on and maybe it was because of the word I was listening.  The song was called Cosy Prison and the end lyrics goes: So if you're careful, You won't get hurt, But if your careful all the time, Then what's it worth?  Which to me meant... Should I stay and put up with it, or go and start again!
I was so surprised at myself... I never usually cry when I listen to music even if it touches me!!!  But I guess I am at the end of my tether at the moment.
I have had a huge argument with hubby earlier because I told him I was going out with Sarah and Donna for Sarah's 30th in a couple of weeks and he flipped.  He said that he wished I was not going cause he knew I was gonna flirt and dance with blokes and that I was out of control when I was drinking etc etc.... Jee  He really annoys me so much!  He thinks I am always up to no good when I am out but I really aren't.  At the end of the day I always go home...in his bed!!!!
He is gonna come home now and he is gonna be all weird on me again.  I am so sick of it...
I have had a chat with a friend about it and he had wise words for me and said I should wait till we are calm and not annoyed with each other, then I should really talk to him and sort it out or make a decision.  (if you are reading this Neilo... I really appreciated it.  I am actually surprised how wise you are LOL).   So I am gonna keep cool tonight although it'll be hard. 
I can tell you what is gonna happen.  We'll shout and I'll cry and with a bit of luck I will take my car and drive far far away... but since my luck is not here at the moment, I probably go upstairs in my bedroom and have a good cry and since my luck is gone for a while he will come upstairs too and annoy me even more. 
I am gonna call Sarah and talk to her..
Bye for now
Mey
-x-