Mey's Journal

Mood: Got a cold... coughs a lot and blow my nose too!

OK... yesterday I got yet another text from Karen.
It said: U probably dont want to hear from me, but I keep trying to text you then stopping. So sad everyday that we are not friends.  I miss all the good things, chats etc. Having a crap day. Probably another wasted text but I dont care. xx

I felt sad and bad cause I thought.  Jee... that girl is really messed up.  So I decided to lift the ignoring method and wrote her an email last night.  This is what it said:

Dear Karen
I think I need to tell you a few things and to explain why I have been ignoring your texts.
Your last email to me was just too much.  Since January, our "friendship" has been going down hill.  I thought it was actually over in February but I gave you another chance.  Then I was getting constent texts from you about the fact that you didnt like my new friends.  A lot of people around me were telling me to not carry on with you.  But I ignored them and always wanted to give you more chances and hoping you woud be better with me.  But the "friendship" was becoming harder and harder.  You decided not to come for Hubby's 40th not because you were going out, not because you could not find a baby-sitter, but because you didnt like my "new friends".... you have never met them and never gave them a chance!!
You said some awful things about my friends which were really unecessary and unfair and it really upset me.  You seemed to forget that they were friends I cared a lot about and it was not really nice to hear you talk about them that way.  I would never dream about doing this to your friends!
Our "friendship" had changed since February, for very good reasons for me but you seemed to have forgotten about what had happened and were annoyed with me because I was keeping some distance from you.  You didnt seem to realise how badly hurt I had been about the fact that you had told Hubby things that almost broke our marriage up.
Your last email was hard to swallow as you accused me of using you and dumping you.  You accused me of having replaced you.  You were trying to make me feel guilty about the fact that I had new friends... but what is wrong with having new friends??!!  You told me I didnt like Pete (<<her partner).   Isn't it the other way round??!!  He does not like us!  You bombarded me with accusations of me not trying hard enough to save the "friendship" when I felt that all along I was trying as best as I could despite all the circumstances and you were just making it harder to cope with!  You also told me you were upset because I was not confiding in you anymore.  Do you need me to remind you again why?!
For the past 6 months, I was becoming more and more stressed out about it all.  I had to be careful about what I was saying to you as I was worried it would upset you.  I just could not carry on like this.  Your last email made me realise that the whole thing needed to stop.  A friendship is not supposed to be hard work.  This one had become really hard.
Your text of the other Wednesday where you were writing I did not care, I hated you and that I was the one who was not trying, was also really hard.  I felt you twisted everything and made me look like I was the bad guy, like I was the one who finished it all.  But I was not the one who sent you THAT email saying all those horrible things.
Then your text of today was about playing the Guilty card.  Making me feel bad because I was ignoring you, you were sad, you were missing our good times and you were having a bad day.
I feel you have been playing with my feelings like this for a long time and there is only so much I can take.  That is why I have decided to tell you that you cannot treat people like this and make them feel good one day and bad the next.
So I am sorry to have to tell you all this but I feel you need to move on now.  You seem really unhappy and I really dont think it is my fault.  You must have a lot of things to sort out in your life.  It  looked like this "friendship" was just getting you down all the time and I suppose that is why you had found it so hard to cope with me having new friends.  But I cannot take the responsibility of making your life better.  I have to worry about mine and my family.  There is no way we can be friends like we used to be.  Too many things have happened and I am sure you will realise that.
You have other friends and I am sure you will be alright, but as for me, I dont want to carry on.  I want to move on and not come back. It is hard, but I need to do this. 
Please do not feel you need to reply to this email.  It's better if we stop now. I do not wish to have another battle of words.
Take care
Elodie<<<< my real name... but shhhhh!!

 

I do hope that now is the end of it cause I cannot stand this any longer.  She really needs to get on with her life.  I have and I am having fun with my "new friends".... Fingers crossed.  the chapter is now closed!

 

Do you think I was too hard with her???

Have a good day
Mey